KARA BREATHED A SIGH OF RELIEF AND HIS FACE WAS WREATHED IN SMILES WHY OF COURSE TELL HIM TO COME UP ASK HIM IF HE MINDS SEEING ME IN MY ROOM I TOLD HIM YOU WERE IN BED SIR AND HE USED SHOCKING LANGUAGE SAID FISHER KARA LAUGHED SEND HIM UP HE SAID


YES SIR SAID THE SERVANT SUCH AN INSTRUCTION WAS REMARKABLY PLEASING TO HIM THERE WAS MUCH THAT HE HAD TO DO AND THAT NIGHT'S FREEDOM WOULD ASSIST HIM MATERIALLY PERHAPS KARA HESITATED PERHAPS YOU HAD BETTER WAIT UNTIL ELEVEN O'CLOCK


BRING ME UP SOME SANDWICHES AND A LARGE GLASS OF MILK OR BETTER STILL PLACE THEM ON A PLATE IN THE HALL VERY GOOD SIR SAID THE MAN AND WITHDREW DOWN BELOW THAT GROTESQUE FIGURE WITH HIS SHINY HAT AND HIS RAGGED BEARD WAS WALKING UP AND DOWN THE TESSELATED HALLWAY


MUTTERING TO HIMSELF AND STARING AT THE VARIOUS OBJECTS IN THE HALL WITH A CERTAIN AMUSED ANTAGONISM MISTER KARA WILL SEE YOU SIR SAID FISHER OH SAID THE OTHER GLARING AT THE UNOFFENDING FISHER THAT'S VERY GOOD OF HIM


YES SIR SAID FISHER LOOK HERE THE MAN THRUST OUT HIS FACE DO YOU SEE THOSE GREY HAIRS IN MY BEARD THE EMBARRASSED FISHER GRINNED IS IT GREY CHALLENGED THE VISITOR WITH A ROAR


YES SIR SAID THE VALET HASTILY IS IT REAL GREY INSISTED THE VISITOR PULL ONE OUT AND SEE THE STARTLED FISHER DREW BACK WITH AN APOLOGETIC SMILE I COULDN'T THINK OF DOING A THING LIKE THAT SIR OH YOU COULDN'T SNEERED THE VISITOR


THEN LEAD ON FISHER SHOWED THE WAY UP THE STAIRS THIS TIME THE TRAVELLER CARRIED NO BOOKS HIS LEFT ARM HUNG LIMPLY BY HIS SIDE AND FISHER PRIVATELY GATHERED THAT THE HAND HAD GOT LOOSE FROM THE DETAINING POCKET WITHOUT ITS OWNER BEING AWARE OF THE FACT


HE PUSHED OPEN THE DOOR AND ANNOUNCED MISTER GATHERCOLE AND KARA CAME FORWARD WITH A SMILE TO MEET HIS AGENT WHO WITH TOP HAT STILL ON THE TOP OF HIS HEAD AND HIS OVERCOAT DANGLING ABOUT HIS HEELS MUST HAVE MADE A REMARKABLE PICTURE


FISHER CLOSED THE DOOR BEHIND THEM AND RETURNED TO HIS DUTIES IN THE HALL BELOW TEN MINUTES LATER HE HEARD THE DOOR OPENED AND THE BOOMING VOICE OF THE STRANGER CAME DOWN TO HIM FISHER WENT UP THE STAIRS TO MEET HIM AND FOUND HIM ADDRESSING THE OCCUPANT OF THE ROOM IN HIS OWN ECCENTRIC FASHION


NO MORE PATAGONIA HE ROARED NO MORE TIERRA DEL FUEGO HE PAUSED CERTAINLY HE REPLIED TO SOME QUESTION BUT NOT PATAGONIA HE PAUSED AGAIN


AND FISHER STANDING AT THE FOOT OF THE STAIRS WONDERED WHAT HAD OCCURRED TO MAKE THE VISITOR SO GENIAL I SUPPOSE YOUR CHEQUE WILL BE HONOURED ALL RIGHT ASKED THE VISITOR SARDONICALLY AND THEN BURST INTO A LITTLE CHUCKLE OF LAUGHTER AS HE CAREFULLY CLOSED THE DOOR


DAMN ALL GREEKS HE SAID JOVIALLY AND FISHER COULD DO NO MORE THAN SMILE REPROACHFULLY THE SMILE BEING HIS VERY OWN THE REPROACH BEING ON BEHALF OF THE MASTER WHO PAID HIM THE TRAVELLER TOUCHED THE OTHER ON THE CHEST WITH HIS RIGHT HAND NEVER TRUST A GREEK HE SAID


ALWAYS GET YOUR MONEY IN ADVANCE IS THAT CLEAR TO YOU YES SIR SAID FISHER BUT I THINK YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND THAT MISTER KARA IS ALWAYS MOST GENEROUS ABOUT MONEY DON'T YOU BELIEVE IT DON'T YOU BELIEVE IT MY POOR MAN SAID THE OTHER YOU


AT THAT MOMENT THERE CAME FROM KARA'S ROOM A FAINT CLANG WHAT'S THAT ASKED THE VISITOR A LITTLE STARTLED MISTER KARA'S PUT DOWN HIS STEEL LATCH SAID FISHER WITH A SMILE WHICH MEANS THAT HE IS NOT TO BE DISTURBED UNTIL HE LOOKED AT HIS WATCH


UNTIL ELEVEN O'CLOCK AT ANY RATE HE'S A FUNK SNAPPED THE OTHER A BEASTLY FUNK HE STAMPED DOWN THE STAIRS AS THOUGH TESTING THE WEIGHT OF EVERY TREAD OPENED THE FRONT DOOR WITHOUT ASSISTANCE SLAMMED IT BEHIND HIM AND DISAPPEARED INTO THE NIGHT


AS YOU KNOW AND AS I HAVE GIVEN YOU PROOF I HAVE THE GREATEST ADMIRATION IN THE WORLD FOR ONE WHOSE WORK FOR HUMANITY HAS WON SUCH UNIVERSAL RECOGNITION I HOPE THAT WE SHALL BOTH FORGET THIS UNHAPPY MORNING AND THAT YOU WILL GIVE ME AN OPPORTUNITY OF RENDERING TO YOU IN PERSON


THE APOLOGIES WHICH ARE DUE TO YOU I FEEL THAT ANYTHING LESS WILL NEITHER REHABILITATE ME IN YOUR ESTEEM NOR SECURE FOR ME THE REMNANTS OF MY SHATTERED SELF RESPECT I AM HOPING YOU WILL DINE WITH ME NEXT WEEK AND MEET A MOST INTERESTING MAN GEORGE GATHERCOLE


TO DISTURB A RELATIONSHIP WHICH I HAVE ALWAYS HOPED WOULD BE MUTUALLY PLEASANT IF YOU WILL ALLOW GATHERCOLE WHO WILL BE UNCONSCIOUS OF THE PART HE IS PLAYING TO ACT AS PEACEMAKER BETWEEN YOURSELF AND MYSELF


I SHALL FEEL THAT HIS TRIP WHICH HAS COST ME A LARGE SUM OF MONEY WILL NOT HAVE BEEN WASTED I AM DEAR MISTER MEREDITH YOURS VERY SINCERELY REMINGTON KARA


KARA FOLDED THE LETTER AND INSERTED IT IN ITS ENVELOPE HE RANG A BELL ON HIS TABLE AND THE GIRL WHO HAD SO FILLED T X WITH A SENSE OF AWE CAME FROM AN ADJOINING ROOM YOU WILL SEE THAT THIS IS DELIVERED MISS HOLLAND


A MAN AGAINST WHOM MY FAVOURITE WEAPON WOULD FAIL SHE LOOKED AT HIM WITH INTEREST IN HER EYES WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE WEAPON MISTER KARA SHE ASKED FEAR HE SAID


IF HE EXPECTED HER TO GIVE HIM ANY ENCOURAGEMENT TO PROCEED HE WAS DISAPPOINTED PROBABLY HE REQUIRED NO SUCH ENCOURAGEMENT FOR IN THE PRESENCE OF HIS SOCIAL INFERIORS HE WAS SOMEWHAT MONOPOLIZING CUT A MAN'S FLESH AND IT HEALS HE SAID


WHIP A MAN AND THE MEMORY OF IT PASSES FRIGHTEN HIM FILL HIM WITH A SENSE OF FOREBODING AND APPREHENSION AND LET HIM BELIEVE THAT SOMETHING DREADFUL IS GOING TO HAPPEN EITHER TO HIMSELF OR TO SOMEONE HE LOVES BETTER THE LATTER


AND YOU WILL HURT HIM BEYOND FORGETFULNESS FEAR IS A TYRANT AND A DESPOT MORE TERRIBLE THAN THE RACK MORE POTENT THAN THE STAKE FEAR IS MANY EYED AND SEES HORRORS WHERE NORMAL VISION ONLY SEES THE RIDICULOUS


IS THAT YOUR CREED SHE ASKED QUIETLY PART OF IT MISS HOLLAND HE SMILED SHE PLAYED IDLY WITH THE LETTER SHE HELD IN HER HAND BALANCING IT ON THE EDGE OF THE DESK HER EYES DOWNCAST


WHAT WOULD JUSTIFY THE USE OF SUCH AN AWFUL WEAPON SHE ASKED IT IS AMPLY JUSTIFIED TO SECURE AN END HE SAID BLANDLY FOR EXAMPLE I WANT SOMETHING I CANNOT OBTAIN THAT SOMETHING THROUGH THE ORDINARY CHANNEL OR BY THE EMPLOYMENT OF ORDINARY MEANS


IF I CAN BUY IT WELL AND GOOD IF I CAN BUY THOSE WHO CAN USE THEIR INFLUENCE TO SECURE THIS THING FOR ME SO MUCH THE BETTER IF I CAN OBTAIN IT BY ANY MERIT I POSSESS I UTILIZE THAT MERIT


PROVIDING ALWAYS THAT I CAN SECURE MY OBJECT IN THE TIME OTHERWISE HE SHRUGGED HIS SHOULDERS I SEE SHE SAID NODDING HER HEAD QUICKLY I SUPPOSE THAT IS HOW BLACKMAILERS FEEL HE FROWNED


THAT IS A WORD I NEVER USE NOR DO I LIKE TO HEAR IT EMPLOYED HE SAID BLACKMAIL SUGGESTS TO ME A VULGAR ATTEMPT TO OBTAIN MONEY


AND ACCORDING TO YOUR ARGUMENT THEY ARE ALSO JUSTIFIED IT IS A MATTER OF PLANE HE SAID AIRILY VIEWED FROM MY STANDPOINT THEY ARE SORDID CRIMINALS THE SORT OF PERSON THAT T X MEETS I PRESUME IN THE COURSE OF HIS DAILY WORK


T X HE WENT ON SOMEWHAT ORACULARLY IS A MAN FOR WHOM I HAVE A GREAT DEAL OF RESPECT YOU WILL PROBABLY MEET HIM AGAIN FOR HE WILL FIND AN OPPORTUNITY OF ASKING YOU A FEW QUESTIONS ABOUT MYSELF I NEED HARDLY TELL YOU


HE LIFTED HIS SHOULDERS WITH A DEPRECATING SMILE I SHALL CERTAINLY NOT DISCUSS YOUR BUSINESS WITH ANY PERSON SAID THE GIRL COLDLY I AM PAYING YOU THREE POUNDS A WEEK I THINK HE SAID


I INTEND INCREASING THAT TO FIVE POUNDS BECAUSE YOU SUIT ME MOST ADMIRABLY THANK YOU SAID THE GIRL QUIETLY BUT I AM ALREADY BEING PAID QUITE SUFFICIENT SHE LEFT HIM A LITTLE ASTONISHED AND NOT A LITTLE RUFFLED


TO REFUSE THE FAVOURS OF REMINGTON KARA WAS BY HIM REGARDED AS SOMETHING OF AN AFFRONT


HE RANG THE BELL THIS TIME FOR HIS VALET FISHER HE SAID I AM EXPECTING A VISIT FROM A GENTLEMAN NAMED GATHERCOLE A ONE ARMED GENTLEMAN WHOM YOU MUST LOOK AFTER IF HE COMES


DETAIN HIM ON SOME PRETEXT OR OTHER BECAUSE HE IS RATHER DIFFICULT TO GET HOLD OF AND I WANT TO SEE HIM


HE WILL PROBABLY BE INTERESTED IF YOU TAKE HIM INTO THE LIBRARY VERY GOOD SIR SAID THE URBANE FISHER WILL YOU CHANGE BEFORE YOU GO OUT KARA SHOOK HIS HEAD I THINK I WILL GO AS I AM HE SAID GET ME MY FUR COAT THIS BEASTLY COLD KILLS ME


HE SHIVERED AS HE GLANCED INTO THE BLEAK STREET KEEP MY FIRE GOING PUT ALL MY PRIVATE LETTERS IN MY BEDROOM AND SEE THAT MISS HOLLAND HAS HER LUNCH FISHER FOLLOWED HIM TO HIS CAR WRAPPED THE FUR RUG ABOUT HIS LEGS


CLOSED THE DOOR CAREFULLY AND RETURNED TO THE HOUSE


THAT HE SHOULD RETURN TO KARA'S STUDY AND SET THE PAPERS IN ORDER WAS NATURAL AND PROPER THAT HE SHOULD CONDUCT A RAPID EXAMINATION OF ALL THE DRAWERS IN KARA'S DESK MIGHT BE EXCUSED ON THE SCORE OF DILIGENCE SINCE HE WAS TO SOME EXTENT IN THE CONFIDENCE OF HIS EMPLOYER


KARA WAS GIVEN TO MAKING FRIENDS OF HIS SERVANTS UP TO A POINT IN HIS MORE GENEROUS MOMENTS HE WOULD ADDRESS HIS BODYGUARD AS FRED AND ON MORE OCCASIONS THAN ONE AND FOR NO APPARENT REASON HAD TIPPED HIS SERVANT OVER AND ABOVE HIS SALARY


MISTER FRED FISHER FOUND LITTLE TO REWARD HIM FOR HIS SEARCH UNTIL HE CAME UPON KARA'S CHEQUE BOOK WHICH TOLD HIM THAT ON THE PREVIOUS DAY THE GREEK HAD DRAWN SIX THOUSAND POUNDS IN CASH FROM THE BANK


THIS INTERESTED HIM MIGHTILY AND HE REPLACED THE CHEQUE BOOK WITH THE TIGHTENED LIPS AND THE FIXED GAZE OF A MAN WHO WAS THINKING RAPIDLY HE PAID A VISIT TO THE LIBRARY WHERE THE SECRETARY WAS ENGAGED IN MAKING COPIES OF KARA'S CORRESPONDENCE


ANSWERING LETTERS APPEALING FOR CHARITABLE DONATIONS AND IN THE HACK WORDS WHICH FALL TO THE SECRETARIES OF THE GREAT HE REPLENISHED THE FIRE ASKED DEFERENTIALLY FOR ANY INSTRUCTIONS AND RETURNED AGAIN TO HIS QUEST


THIS TIME HE MADE THE BEDROOM THE SCENE OF HIS INVESTIGATIONS THE SAFE HE DID NOT ATTEMPT TO TOUCH BUT THERE WAS A SMALL BUREAU IN WHICH KARA WOULD HAVE PLACED HIS PRIVATE CORRESPONDENCE OF THE MORNING THIS HOWEVER YIELDED NO RESULT


RUM COVE SAID FISHER HE PAUSED FOR A MOMENT BEFORE THE CLOSED DOOR OF THE ROOM AND SMILINGLY SURVEYED THE GREAT STEEL LATCH WHICH SPANNED THE DOOR AND FITTED INTO AN IRON SOCKET SECURELY SCREWED TO THE FRAMEWORK HE LIFTED IT GINGERLY


THERE WAS A LITTLE KNOB FOR THE PURPOSE AND LET IT FALL GENTLY INTO THE SOCKET WHICH HAD BEEN MADE TO RECEIVE IT ON THE DOOR ITSELF RUM COVE HE SAID AGAIN AND LIFTING THE LATCH TO THE HOOK WHICH HELD IT UP LEFT THE ROOM CLOSING THE DOOR SOFTLY BEHIND HIM


HE WALKED DOWN THE CORRIDOR WITH A MEDITATIVE FROWN AND BEGAN TO DESCEND THE STAIRS TO THE HALL HE WAS LESS THAN HALF WAY DOWN WHEN THE ONE MAID OF KARA'S HOUSEHOLD CAME UP TO MEET HIM THERE'S A GENTLEMAN WHO WANTS TO SEE MISTER KARA SHE SAID HERE IS HIS CARD


FISHER TOOK THE CARD FROM THE SALVER AND READ MISTER GEORGE GATHERCOLE JUNIOR TRAVELLERS CLUB I'LL SEE THIS GENTLEMAN HE SAID WITH A SUDDEN BRISK INTEREST HE FOUND THE VISITOR STANDING IN THE HALL


HE WAS A MAN WHO WOULD HAVE ATTRACTED ATTENTION IF ONLY FROM THE SOMEWHAT ECCENTRIC NATURE OF HIS DRESS AND HIS UNKEMPT APPEARANCE HE WAS DRESSED IN A WELL WORN OVERCOAT OF A SOMEWHAT PRONOUNCED CHECK HE HAD A TOP HAT GLOSSY AND OBVIOUSLY NEW AT THE BACK OF HIS HEAD


A PAIR OF PINCE NEZ SAT CROOKEDLY ON HIS NOSE AND TWO FAT VOLUMES UNDER HIS ARM COMPLETED THE PICTURE FISHER WHO WAS AN OBSERVER OF SOME DISCERNMENT NOTICED UNDER THE OVERCOAT A CREASED BLUE SUIT LARGE BLACK BOOTS


AND A PAIR OF PEARL STUDS THE NEWCOMER GLARED ROUND AT THE VALET TAKE THESE HE ORDERED PEREMPTORILY POINTING TO THE BOOKS UNDER HIS ARM FISHER HASTENED TO OBEY AND NOTED WITH SOME WONDER THAT THE VISITOR DID NOT ATTEMPT TO ASSIST HIM


EITHER BY LOOSENING HIS HOLD OF THE VOLUMES OR RAISING HIS HAND ACCIDENTALLY THE VALET'S HAND PRESSED AGAINST THE OTHER'S SLEEVE AND HE RECEIVED A SHOCK FOR THE FOREARM WAS CLEARLY AN ARTIFICIAL ONE IT WAS AGAINST A WOODEN SURFACE BENEATH THE SLEEVE THAT HIS KNUCKLES STRUCK


AND THIS VIEW OF THE STRANGER'S INFIRMITY WAS CONFIRMED WHEN THE OTHER REACHED ROUND WITH HIS RIGHT HAND TOOK HOLD OF THE GLOVED LEFT HAND AND THRUST IT INTO THE POCKET OF HIS OVERCOAT WHERE IS KARA GROWLED THE STRANGER


HE TOLD ME HE WOULD BE IN AT SIX O'CLOCK AT THE LATEST SIX O'CLOCK YE GODS STORMED THE MAN IMPATIENTLY WHAT DOG AM I THAT I SHOULD WAIT TILL SIX


SIX O'CLOCK EH YOU WILL TELL MISTER KARA THAT I CALLED GIVE ME THOSE BOOKS BUT I ASSURE YOU SIR STAMMERED FISHER GIVE ME THOSE BOOKS ROARED THE OTHER


DEFTLY HE LIFTED HIS LEFT HAND FROM THE POCKET CROOKED THE ELBOW BY SOME QUICK MANIPULATION AND THRUST THE BOOKS WHICH THE VALET MOST RELUCTANTLY HANDED TO HIM BACK TO THE PLACE FROM WHENCE HE HAD TAKEN THEM TELL MISTER KARA I WILL CALL AT MY OWN TIME


GOOD MORNING TO YOU IF YOU WOULD ONLY WAIT SIR PLEADED THE AGONIZED FISHER WAIT BE HANGED SNARLED THE OTHER I'VE WAITED THREE YEARS I TELL YOU TELL MISTER KARA TO EXPECT ME WHEN HE SEES ME HE WENT OUT AND MOST UNNECESSARILY BANGED THE DOOR BEHIND HIM


FISHER WENT BACK TO THE LIBRARY THE GIRL WAS SEALING UP SOME LETTERS AS HE ENTERED AND LOOKED UP I AM AFRAID MISS HOLLAND I'VE GOT MYSELF INTO VERY SERIOUS TROUBLE WHAT IS THAT FISHER ASKED THE GIRL


MISTER GATHERCOLE SAID THE GIRL QUICKLY FISHER NODDED YES MISS I COULDN'T GET HIM TO STAY THOUGH SHE PURSED HER LIPS THOUGHTFULLY MISTER KARA WILL BE VERY CROSS BUT I DON'T SEE HOW YOU CAN HELP IT I WISH YOU HAD CALLED ME


AT SIX O'CLOCK MISS THE MAN REPLIED THERE IS RATHER AN IMPORTANT LETTER HERE WHICH HAS TO BE DELIVERED SHALL I RING UP FOR A MESSENGER NO I DON'T THINK THAT WOULD BE ADVISABLE YOU HAD BETTER TAKE IT YOURSELF


SHE HANDED HIM THE LETTER AND HE READ WITHOUT A DROOP OF EYELID THE SUPERSCRIPTION


SPECIAL SERVICE DEPARTMENT SCOTLAND YARD WHITEHALL HE PUT IT CAREFULLY IN HIS POCKET AND WENT FROM THE ROOM TO CHANGE LARGE AS THE HOUSE WAS KARA DID NOT EMPLOY A REGULAR STAFF OF SERVANTS A MAID AND A VALET COMPRISED THE WHOLE OF THE INDOOR STAFF


THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IN THE HOUSE BESIDE THE GIRL WAS THE MIDDLE AGED DOMESTIC WHO WAS PARLOUR MAID SERVING MAID AND HOUSEKEEPER IN ONE MISS HOLLAND SAT AT HER DESK TO ALL APPEARANCE READING OVER THE LETTERS SHE HAD TYPED THAT AFTERNOON


BUT HER MIND WAS VERY FAR FROM THE CORRESPONDENCE BEFORE HER SHE HEARD THE SOFT THUD OF THE FRONT DOOR CLOSING AND RISING SHE CROSSED THE ROOM RAPIDLY AND LOOKED DOWN THROUGH THE WINDOW TO THE STREET SHE WATCHED FISHER UNTIL HE WAS OUT OF SIGHT


THE MAID WHO WAS ALSO COOK AROSE UP AS THE GIRL ENTERED IT'S A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES TO SEE YOU IN MY KITCHEN MISS SHE SMILED I'M AFRAID YOU'RE RATHER LONELY MISSUS BEALE SAID THE GIRL SYMPATHETICALLY LONELY MISS CRIED THE MAID


I FAIRLY GET THE CREEPS SITTING HERE HOUR AFTER HOUR IT'S THAT DOOR THAT GIVES ME THE HUMP SHE POINTED TO THE FAR END OF THE KITCHEN TO A SOILED LOOKING DOOR OF UNPAINTED WOOD THAT'S MISTER KARA'S WINE CELLAR NOBODY'S BEEN IN IT BUT HIM


I KNOW HE GOES IN SOMETIMES BECAUSE I TRIED A DODGE THAT MY BROTHER WHO'S A POLICEMAN TAUGHT ME I STRETCHED A BIT OF WHITE COTTON ACROSS IT AN IT WAS BROKE THE NEXT MORNING MISTER KARA KEEPS SOME OF HIS PRIVATE PAPERS IN THERE SAID THE GIRL QUIETLY HE HAS TOLD ME SO HIMSELF


SAID THE WOMAN DOUBTFULLY I WISH HE'D BRICK IT UP THE SAME AS HE HAS THE LOWER CELLAR I GET THE HORRORS SITTIN HERE AT NIGHT EXPECTIN THE DOOR TO OPEN AN THE GHOST OF THE MAD LORD TO COME OUT HIM THAT WAS KILLED IN AFRICA MISS HOLLAND LAUGHED I WANT YOU TO GO OUT NOW SHE SAID


THE GIRL ASCENDED TO THE UPPER FLOOR AGAIN SHE WATCHED FROM THE WINDOW THE DISAPPEARING FIGURE ONCE OUT OF SIGHT MISS HOLLAND WENT TO WORK WITH A REMARKABLE DELIBERATION AND THOROUGHNESS FROM HER BAG SHE PRODUCED A SMALL PURSE AND OPENED IT


IN THAT CASE WAS A NEW STEEL KEY


IN TWO SECONDS IT WAS OPEN AND SHE WAS EXAMINING ITS CONTENTS IT WAS A LARGE SAFE OF THE USUAL TYPE THERE WERE FOUR STEEL DRAWERS FITTED AT THE BACK AND AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STRONG BOX


AN EXAMINATION OF THE FIRST DRAWER DID NOT PRODUCE ALL THAT SHE HAD EXPECTED SHE RETURNED THE PAPERS TO THE DRAWER PUSHED IT TO AND LOCKED IT SHE GAVE HER ATTENTION TO THE SECOND DRAWER HER HAND SHOOK A LITTLE AS SHE PULLED IT OPEN


IT WAS A SQUARE CASE COVERED IN RED MOROCCO LEATHER SHE INSERTED HER SHAKING HAND AND TOOK IT OUT WITH A TRIUMPHANT LITTLE CRY AT LAST SHE SAID ALOUD AND THEN A HAND GRASPED HER WRIST AND IN A PANIC SHE TURNED TO MEET THE SMILING FACE


THE DIAMOND WEDDING BY EDMUND CLARENCE STEDMAN O LOVE LOVE LOVE WHAT TIMES WERE THOSE LONG ERE THE AGE OF BELLES AND BEAUX AND BRUSSELS LACE AND SILKEN HOSE WHEN IN THE GREEN ARCADIAN CLOSE


YOU MARRIED PSYCHE UNDER THE ROSE WITH ONLY THE GRASS FOR BEDDING HEART TO HEART AND HAND TO HAND YOU FOLLOWED NATURE'S SWEET COMMAND ROAMING LOVINGLY THROUGH THE LAND NOR SIGHED FOR A DIAMOND WEDDING


SO HAVE WE READ IN CLASSIC OVID HOW HERO WATCHED FOR HER BELOVED IMPASSIONED YOUTH LEANDER SHE WAS THE FAIREST OF THE FAIR


FOR LOVE WAS LOVE AND BETTER THAN MONEY THE SLYER THE THEFT THE SWEETER THE HONEY AND KISSING WAS CLOVER ALL THE WORLD OVER WHEREVER CUPID MIGHT WANDER SO THOUSANDS OF YEARS HAVE COME AND GONE AND STILL THE MOON IS SHINING ON STILL HYMEN'S TORCH IS LIGHTED


AND HITHERTO IN THIS LAND OF THE WEST MOST COUPLES IN LOVE HAVE THOUGHT IT BEST TO FOLLOW THE ANCIENT WAY OF THE REST


IN A STYLE I CAN NOT HOPE TO ATTAIN AND COVERED HIMSELF WITH GLORY HOW IT BEFELL ONE SUMMER'S DAY THE KING OF THE CUBANS STROLLED THIS WAY KING JANUARY'S HIS NAME THEY SAY AND FELL IN LOVE WITH THE PRINCESS MAY THE REIGNING BELLE OF MANHATTAN


NOR HOW HE BEGAN TO SMIRK AND SUE AND DRESS AS LOVERS WHO COME TO WOO OR AS MAX MARETZEK AND JULIEN DO WHEN THEY SIT FULL BLOOMED IN THE LADIES VIEW AND FLOURISH THE WONDROUS BATON HE WASN'T ONE OF YOUR POLISH NOBLES


WHOSE PRESENCE THEIR COUNTRY SOMEHOW TROUBLES AND SO OUR CITIES RECEIVE THEM NOR ONE OF YOUR MAKE BELIEVE SPANISH GRANDEES WHO PLY OUR DAUGHTERS WITH LIES AND CANDIES UNTIL THE POOR GIRLS BELIEVE THEM NO HE WAS NO SUCH CHARLATAN COUNT DE HOBOKEN FLASH IN THE PAN


FULL OF GASCONADE AND BRAVADO BUT A REGULAR RICH DON RATAPLAN SANTA CLAUS DE LA MUSCOVADO SENOR GRANDISSIMO BASTINADO


HIS WAS THE RENTAL OF HALF HAVANA AND ALL MATANZAS AND SANTA ANNA RICH AS HE WAS COULD HARDLY HOLD A CANDLE TO LIGHT THE MINES OF GOLD OUR CUBAN OWNED CHOKE FULL OF DIGGERS AND BROAD PLANTATIONS THAT IN ROUND FIGURES WERE STOCKED WITH AT LEAST FIVE THOUSAND NIGGERS


GATHER YE ROSEBUDS WHILE YE MAY THE SENOR SWORE TO CARRY THE DAY TO CAPTURE THE BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS MAY WITH HIS BATTERY OF TREASURE VELVET AND LACE SHE SHOULD NOT LACK


AND COME AND GO AT HER PLEASURE JET AND LAVA SILVER AND GOLD GARNETS EMERALDS RARE TO BEHOLD DIAMONDS SAPPHIRES WEALTH UNTOLD


KEPT BIDDING A LITTLE HIGHER AND EVERY TIME HE MADE HIS BID AND WHAT SHE SAID AND ALL THEY DID TWAS WRITTEN DOWN FOR THE GOOD OF THE TOWN BY JEEMS OF THE DAILY FLYER A COACH AND HORSES YOU'D THINK WOULD BUY FOR THE DON AN EASY VICTORY


BUT SLOWLY OUR PRINCESS YIELDED A DIAMOND NECKLACE CAUGHT HER EYE


SHE STOOD SUCH A FIRE OF SILKS AND LACES JEWELS AND GOLD DRESSING CASES AND RUBY BROOCHES AND JETS AND PEARLS THAT EVERY ONE OF HER DAINTY CURLS BROUGHT THE PRICE OF A HUNDRED COMMON GIRLS FOLKS THOUGHT THE LASS DEMENTED


AN INFANT KOHINOOR DID THE THING AND SIGHING WITH LOVE OR SOMETHING THE SAME WHAT'S IN A NAME THE PRINCESS MAY CONSENTED


LET THE GAUNT AND HUNGRY AND RAGGED POOR THRONG ROUND THE GREAT CATHEDRAL DOOR TO WONDER WHAT ALL THE HUBBUB'S FOR AND SOMETIMES STUPIDLY WONDER AT SO MUCH SUNSHINE AND BRIGHTNESS WHICH FALL FROM THE CHURCH UPON THE RICH WHILE THE POOR GET ALL THE THUNDER


RING RING MERRY BELLS RING O FORTUNATE FEW WITH LETTERS BLUE GOOD FOR A SEAT AND A NEARER VIEW FORTUNATE FEW WHOM I DARE NOT NAME DILETTANTI CREME DE LA CREME


WE COMMONERS STOOD BY THE STREET FACADE AND CAUGHT A GLIMPSE OF THE CAVALCADE


SIX LUSTROUS MAIDENS IN TARLETAN SHE LED THE VAN OF THE CARAVAN


THAT TOLD AS PLAINLY AS WORDS COULD SPEAK SHE WAS MORE ANTIQUE THAN THE OTHER LEANED ON THE ARM OF DON RATAPLAN SANTA CLAUS DE LA MUSCOVADO SENOR GRANDISSIMO BASTINADO HAPPY MORTAL FORTUNATE MAN AND MARQUIS OF EL DORADO


IN THEY SWEPT ALL RICHES AND GRACE SILKS AND SATINS JEWELS AND LACE IN THEY SWEPT FROM THE DAZZLED SUN AND SOON IN THE CHURCH THE DEED WAS DONE THREE PRELATES STOOD ON THE CHANCEL HIGH


A KNOT THAT GOLD AND SILVER CAN BUY GOLD AND SILVER MAY YET UNTIE UNLESS IT IS TIGHTLY FASTENED WHAT'S WORTH DOING AT ALL'S WORTH DOING WELL AND THE SALE OF A YOUNG MANHATTAN BELLE IS NOT TO BE PUSHED OR HASTENED


SO TWO VERY REVERENDS GRACED THE SCENE AND THE TALL ARCHBISHOP STOOD BETWEEN BY PRAYER AND FASTING CHASTENED THE POPE HIMSELF WOULD HAVE COME FROM ROME BUT GARIBALDI KEPT HIM AT HOME HAPLY THOSE ROBED PRELATES THOUGHT THEIR WORDS WERE THE POWER THAT TIED THE KNOT


BUT ANOTHER POWER THAT LOVE KNOT TIED AND I SAW THE CHAIN ROUND THE NECK OF THE BRIDE A GLISTENING PRICELESS MARVELOUS CHAIN COILED WITH DIAMONDS AGAIN AND AGAIN AS BEFITS A DIAMOND WEDDING YET STILL TWAS A CHAIN AND I THOUGHT SHE KNEW IT


AND HALF WAY LONGED FOR THE WILL TO UNDO IT BY THE SECRET TEARS SHE WAS SHEDDING BUT ISN'T IT ODD TO THINK WHENEVER WE ALL GO THROUGH THAT TERRIBLE RIVER WHOSE SLUGGISH TIDE ALONE CAN SEVER THE ARCHBISHOP SAYS


THE CHURCH DECREE BY FLOATING ONE INTO ETERNITY AND LEAVING THE OTHER ALIVE AS EVER AS EACH WADES THROUGH THAT GHASTLY STREAM THE SATINS THAT RUSTLE AND GEMS THAT GLEAM WILL GROW PALE AND HEAVY AND SINK AWAY TO THE NOISOME RIVER'S BOTTOM CLAY


WILL SHIVER UPON THE BANKS OF THE STYX QUITE AS HELPLESS AS THEY WERE BORN NAKED SOULS AND VERY FORLORN THE PRINCESS THEN MUST SHIFT FOR HERSELF AND LAY HER ROYALTY ON THE SHELF SHE AND THE BEAUTIFUL EMPRESS YONDER WHOSE ROBES ARE NOW THE WIDE WORLD'S WONDER


WHO CALICO WEAR EACH MORN OF THEIR LIVES AND THE SEWING GIRLS AND LES CHIFFONNIERS IN RAGS AND HUNGER A GAUNT ARRAY AND ALL THE GROOMS OF THE CARAVAN


A BULLY BOAT AND A BRAG CAPTAIN A STORY OF STEAMBOAT LIFE ON THE MISSISSIPPI BY SOL SMITH DOES ANY ONE REMEMBER THE CARAVAN SHE WAS WHAT WOULD NOW BE CONSIDERED A SLOW BOAT THEN EIGHTEEN TWENTY SEVEN


SHE WAS REGULARLY ADVERTISED AS THE FAST RUNNING ET CETERA HER REGULAR TRIPS FROM NEW ORLEANS TO NATCHEZ WERE USUALLY MADE IN FROM SIX TO EIGHT DAYS A TRIP MADE BY HER IN FIVE DAYS WAS CONSIDERED REMARKABLE


A VOYAGE FROM NEW ORLEANS TO VICKSBURG AND BACK INCLUDING STOPPAGES GENERALLY ENTITLED THE OFFICERS AND CREW TO A MONTH'S WAGES WHETHER THE CARAVAN EVER ACHIEVED THE FEAT OF A VOYAGE TO THE FALLS LOUISVILLE I HAVE NEVER LEARNED IF SHE DID


SHE MUST HAVE HAD A TIME OF IT IT WAS MY FATE TO TAKE PASSAGE IN THIS BOAT THE CAPTAIN WAS A GOOD NATURED EASY GOING MAN CAREFUL OF THE COMFORT OF HIS PASSENGERS AND EXCEEDINGLY FOND OF THE GAME OF BRAG WE HAD BEEN OUT A LITTLE MORE THAN FIVE DAYS


AND WE WERE IN HOPES OF SEEING THE BLUFFS OF NATCHEZ ON THE NEXT DAY OUR WOOD WAS GETTING LOW AND NIGHT COMING ON THE PILOT ON DUTY ABOVE THE OTHER PILOT HELD THREE ACES AT THE TIME AND WAS JUST CALLING OUT THE CAPTAIN WHO WENT IT STRONG ON THREE KINGS


SENT DOWN WORD THAT THE MATE HAD REPORTED THE STOCK OF WOOD REDUCED TO HALF A CORD THE WORTHY CAPTAIN EXCUSED HIMSELF TO THE PILOT WHOSE WATCH WAS BELOW AND THE TWO PASSENGERS WHO MADE UP THE PARTY AND HURRIED TO THE DECK


WHICH HE SAID WAS SITUATED RIGHT ROUND YONDER POINT BUT MUTTERED THE CAPTAIN I DON'T MUCH LIKE TO TAKE WOOD OF THE YELLOW FACED OLD SCOUNDREL WHO OWNS IT HE ALWAYS CHARGES A QUARTER OF A DOLLAR MORE THAN ANY ONE ELSE HOWEVER THERE'S NO OTHER CHANCE


AND IN A LITTLE LESS THAN AN HOUR WHEN OUR FUEL WAS ABOUT GIVING OUT WE MADE THE POINT AND OUR CABLES WERE OUT AND FASTENED TO TREES ALONGSIDE OF A GOOD SIZED WOOD PILE HALLO COLONEL HOW D'YE SELL YOUR WOOD THIS TIME A YELLOW FACED OLD GENTLEMAN


WITH A TWO WEEKS BEARD STRINGS OVER HIS SHOULDERS HOLDING UP TO HIS ARMPITS A PAIR OF COPPERAS COLORED LINSEY WOOLSEY PANTS THE LEGS OF WHICH REACHED A VERY LITTLE BELOW THE KNEE SHOES WITHOUT STOCKINGS A FADED BROAD BRIMMED HAT WHICH HAD ONCE BEEN BLACK


AND A PIPE IN HIS MOUTH CASTING A GLANCE AT THE EMPTY GUARDS OF OUR BOAT AND UTTERING A GRUNT AS HE ROSE FROM FASTENING OUR SPRING LINE ANSWERED WHY CAPTING WE MUST CHARGE YOU THREE AND A QUARTER THIS TIME THE D L REPLIED THE CAPTAIN


WHAT'S THE ODD QUARTER FOR I SHOULD LIKE TO KNOW YOU ONLY CHARGED ME THREE AS I WENT DOWN WHY CAPTAING DRAWLED OUT THE WOOD MERCHANT WITH A SORT OF LEER ON HIS YELLOW COUNTENANCE WHICH CLEARLY INDICATED THAT HIS WOOD WAS AS GOOD AS SOLD


WOOD'S RIZ SINCE YOU WENT DOWN TWO WEEKS AGO BESIDES YOU ARE AWAR THAT YOU VERY SELDOM STOP GOING DOWN


AND THERE'S NO OTHER WOODYARD FOR NINE MILES AHEAD AND IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE NEARLY OUT OF FOOEL WHY WELL WELL INTERRUPTED THE CAPTAIN WE'LL TAKE A FEW CORDS UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES AND HE RETURNED TO HIS GAME OF BRAG


IN ABOUT HALF AN HOUR WE FELT THE CARAVAN COMMENCE PADDLING AGAIN SUPPER WAS OVER


SITUATED ALONGSIDE AND OVERLOOKING THE BRAG TABLE WHERE THE CAPTAIN WAS DEEPLY ENGAGED HAVING NOW THE OTHER PILOT AS HIS PRINCIPAL OPPONENT WE JOGGED ON QUIETLY AND SEEMED TO BE GOING AT A GOOD RATE


HOW DOES THAT WOOD BURN INQUIRED THE CAPTAIN OF THE MATE WHO WAS LOOKING ON AT THE GAME TISN'T OF MUCH ACCOUNT I RECKON ANSWERED THE MATE IT'S COTTONWOOD AND MOST OF IT GREEN AT THAT WELL THOMPSON THREE ACES AGAIN STRANGER


THOMPSON I SAY WE'D BETTER TAKE THREE OR FOUR CORDS AT THE NEXT WOODYARD IT CAN'T BE MORE THAN SIX MILES FROM HERE TWO ACES AND A BRAGGER WITH THE AGE


THE GAME WENT ON AND THE PADDLES KEPT MOVING AT ELEVEN O'CLOCK IT WAS REPORTED TO THE CAPTAIN THAT WE WERE NEARING THE WOODYARD THE LIGHT BEING DISTINCTLY SEEN BY THE PILOT ON DUTY HEAD HER IN SHORE THEN AND TAKE IN SIX CORDS IF IT'S GOOD SEE TO IT THOMPSON


I CAN'T VERY WELL LEAVE THE GAME NOW IT'S GETTING RIGHT WARM THIS PILOT'S BEATING US ALL TO SMASH THE WOODING COMPLETED WE PADDLED ON AGAIN THE CAPTAIN SEEMED SOMEWHAT VEXED WHEN THE MATE INFORMED HIM THAT THE PRICE WAS THE SAME AS AT THE LAST WOODYARD


THREE AND A QUARTER BUT SOON AGAIN BECAME INTERESTED IN THE GAME FROM MY UPPER BERTH THERE WERE NO STATE ROOMS THEN I COULD OBSERVE THE MOVEMENTS OF THE PLAYERS


THE LATTER PERSONAGES TOOK IT TURN AND TURN ABOUT STEERING AND PLAYING BRAG ONE OF THEM ALMOST INVARIABLY WINNING WHILE THE TWO PASSENGERS MERELY WENT THROUGH THE CEREMONY OF DEALING CUTTING AND PAYING UP THEIR ANTIES THEY WERE ANXIOUS TO LEARN THE GAME


AND THEY DID LEARN IT ONCE IN A WHILE INDEED SEEING THEY HAD TWO ACES AND A BRAGGER THEY WOULD VENTURE A BET OF FIVE OR TEN DOLLARS BUT THEY WERE ALWAYS COMPELLED TO BACK OUT BEFORE THE TREMENDOUS BRAGGING OF THE CAPTAIN OR PILOT


OR IF THEY DID VENTURE TO CALL OUT ON TWO BULLITS AND A BRAGGER THEY HAD THE MORTIFICATION TO FIND ONE OF THE OFFICERS HAD THE SAME KIND OF A HAND AND WERE MORE VENERABLE STILL WITH ALL THESE DISADVANTAGES THEY CONTINUED PLAYING


THEY WANTED TO LEARN THE GAME AT TWO O'CLOCK THE CAPTAIN ASKED THE MATE HOW WE WERE GETTING ON OH PRETTY GLIBLY SIR REPLIED THE MATE WE CAN SCARCELY TELL WHAT HEADWAY WE ARE MAKING FOR WE ARE OBLIGED TO KEEP THE MIDDLE OF THE RIVER AND THERE IS THE SHADOW OF A FOG RISING


THIS WOOD SEEMS RATHER BETTER THAN THAT WE TOOK IN AT YELLOW FACE'S BUT WE'RE NEARLY OUT AGAIN AND MUST BE LOOKING OUT FOR MORE I SAW A LIGHT JUST AHEAD ON THE RIGHT SHALL WE HAIL YES YES REPLIED THE CAPTAIN RING THE BELL AND ASK EM WHAT'S THE PRICE OF WOOD UP HERE I'VE GOT YOU AGAIN


I HEARD THE BELL AND THE PILOT'S HAIL WHAT'S YOUR PRICE FOR WOOD A YOUTHFUL VOICE ON THE SHORE ANSWERED THREE AND A QUARTER D NET EJACULATED THE CAPTAIN


THE STRANGERS SUFFERING SOME AT THE SAME TIME THREE AND A QUARTER AGAIN ARE WE NEVER TO GET TO A CHEAPER COUNTRY DEAL SIR IF YOU PLEASE BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME THE OTHER PILOT'S VOICE WAS AGAIN HEARD ON DECK HOW MUCH HAVE YOU ONLY ABOUT TEN CORDS SIR


WAS THE REPLY OF THE YOUTHFUL SALESMAN THE CAPTAIN HERE TOLD THOMPSON TO TAKE SIX CORDS WHICH WOULD LAST TILL DAYLIGHT AND AGAIN TURNED HIS ATTENTION TO THE GAME THE PILOTS HERE CHANGED PLACES WHEN DID THEY SLEEP WOOD TAKEN IN


THE CARAVAN AGAIN TOOK HER PLACE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREAM PADDLING ON AS USUAL DAY AT LENGTH DAWNED THE BRAG PARTY BROKE UP AND SETTLEMENTS WERE BEING MADE DURING WHICH OPERATION


THE CAPTAIN'S BRAGGING PROPENSITIES WERE EXERCISED IN CRACKING UP THE SPEED OF HIS BOAT WHICH BY HIS RECKONING


IT APPEARS THE TWO PASSENGERS IN THEIR FIRST LESSON HAD INCIDENTALLY LOST ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY DOLLARS THE CAPTAIN AS HE ROSE TO SEE ABOUT TAKING IN SOME GOOD WOOD WHICH HE FELT SURE OF OBTAINING NOW THAT HE HAD GOT ABOVE THE LEVEL COUNTRY WINKED AT HIS OPPONENT


THE PILOT WITH WHOM HE HAD BEEN ON VERY BAD TERMS DURING THE PROGRESS OF THE GAME AND SAID IN AN UNDERTONE FORTY APIECE FOR YOU AND I AND JAMES THE OTHER PILOT IS NOT BAD FOR ONE NIGHT I HAD RISEN AND WENT OUT WITH THE CAPTAIN TO ENJOY A VIEW OF THE BLUFFS


THERE WAS JUST FOG ENOUGH TO PREVENT THE VISION TAKING IN MORE THAN SIXTY YARDS SO I WAS DISAPPOINTED IN MY EXPECTATION WE WERE NEARING THE SHORE FOR THE PURPOSE OF LOOKING FOR WOOD THE BANKS BEING INVISIBLE FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE RIVER THERE IT IS EXCLAIMED THE CAPTAIN STOP HER


AND THE CAPTAIN HAILED HALLO THE WOODYARD HALLO YOURSELF ANSWERED A SQUEAKING FEMALE VOICE WHICH CAME FROM A WOMAN WITH A PETTICOAT OVER HER SHOULDERS IN PLACE OF A SHAWL WHAT'S THE PRICE OF WOOD


I THINK YOU OUGHT TO KNOW THE PRICE BY THIS TIME ANSWERED THE OLD LADY IN THE PETTICOAT


AND NOW YOU KNOW IT THREE AND THE D L BROKE IN THE CAPTAIN WHAT HAVE YOU RAISED ON YOUR WOOD TOO I'LL GIVE YOU THREE AND NOT A CENT MORE WELL REPLIED THE PETTICOAT HERE COMES THE OLD MAN HE'LL TALK TO YOU AND SURE ENOUGH


OUT CREPT FROM THE COTTAGE THE VERITABLE FADED HAT COPPERAS COLORED PANTS YELLOW COUNTENANCE AND TWO WEEKS BEARD WE HAD SEEN THE NIGHT BEFORE


ACCOMPANIED BY THE SAME LEER OF THE SAME YELLOW COUNTENANCE WHY DARN IT ALL CAPTING THERE IS BUT THREE OR FOUR CORDS LEFT AND SINCE IT'S YOU I DON'T CARE IF I DO LET YOU HAVE IT FOR THREE AS YOU'RE A GOOD CUSTOMER


AND TURNED IN TO TAKE SOME REST THE FACT BECAME APPARENT THE READER WILL PROBABLY HAVE DISCOVERED IT SOME TIME SINCE


THE IDEA OF EVERY MODE IN WHICH THE HUMAN BODY IS AFFECTED BY EXTERNAL BODIES


PROOF ALL THE MODES IN WHICH ANY GIVEN BODY IS AFFECTED


WHEREFORE THEIR IDEA ALSO NECESSARILY


THEREFORE THE IDEA OF EVERY MODE IN WHICH THE HUMAN BODY IS AFFECTED BY EXTERNAL BODIES INVOLVES THE NATURE OF THE HUMAN BODY AND OF THE EXTERNAL BODY


HENCE IT FOLLOWS FIRST THAT THE HUMAN MIND PERCEIVES THE NATURE OF A VARIETY OF BODIES TOGETHER WITH THE NATURE OF ITS OWN


IT WILL HAVE THE IDEA OF THE MODE AS ACTUALLY EXISTING


IN OTHER WORDS IT WILL HAVE THE IDEA WHICH DOES NOT EXCLUDE BUT POSTULATES THE EXISTENCE OR PRESENCE OF THE NATURE OF THE EXTERNAL BODY


WILL REGARD THE EXTERNAL BODY AS ACTUALLY EXISTING


COROLLARY THE MIND IS ABLE TO REGARD AS PRESENT EXTERNAL BODIES BY WHICH THE HUMAN BODY HAS ONCE BEEN AFFECTED EVEN THOUGH THEY BE NO LONGER IN EXISTENCE OR PRESENT


BY WHICH THE HUMAN BODY HAS ONCE BEEN AFFECTED BE NO LONGER IN EXISTENCE THE MIND WILL NEVERTHELESS REGARD THEM AS PRESENT AS OFTEN AS THIS ACTION OF THE BODY IS REPEATED


NOTE WE THUS SEE HOW IT COMES ABOUT


THE LATTER INDICATES RATHER THE DISPOSITION OF PAUL'S BODY THAN THE NATURE OF PETER AND THEREFORE WHILE THIS DISPOSITION OF PAUL'S BODY LASTS PAUL'S MIND WILL REGARD PETER AS PRESENT TO ITSELF EVEN THOUGH HE NO LONGER EXISTS FURTHER TO RETAIN THE USUAL PHRASEOLOGY


THE MODIFICATIONS OF THE HUMAN BODY OF WHICH THE IDEAS REPRESENT EXTERNAL BODIES AS PRESENT TO US WE WILL CALL THE IMAGES OF THINGS THOUGH THEY DO NOT RECALL THE FIGURE OF THINGS WHEN THE MIND REGARDS BODIES IN THIS FASHION WE SAY THAT IT IMAGINES


LOOKED AT IN THEMSELVES DO NOT CONTAIN ERROR THE MIND DOES NOT ERR IN THE MERE ACT OF IMAGINING BUT ONLY IN SO FAR AS IT IS REGARDED AS BEING WITHOUT THE IDEA


WHICH ASSOCIATION ARISES IN THE MIND ACCORDING TO THE ORDER AND ASSOCIATION OF THE MODIFICATIONS AFFECTIONES OF THE HUMAN BODY I SAY FIRST IT IS AN ASSOCIATION OF THOSE IDEAS ONLY


IDEAS OF THE MODIFICATIONS OF THE HUMAN BODY ARE STRICTLY SPEAKING


THOSE WHICH INVOLVE THE NATURE BOTH OF THE HUMAN BODY AND OF EXTERNAL BODIES I SAY SECONDLY


IN ORDER TO DISTINGUISH IT FROM THAT ASSOCIATION OF IDEAS


WHEREBY THE MIND PERCEIVES THINGS THROUGH THEIR PRIMARY CAUSES


AND HENCE WE CAN FURTHER CLEARLY UNDERSTAND WHY THE MIND FROM THE THOUGHT OF ONE THING SHOULD STRAIGHTWAY ARRIVE AT THE THOUGHT OF ANOTHER THING WHICH HAS NO SIMILARITY WITH THE FIRST FOR INSTANCE FROM THE THOUGHT OF THE WORD POMUM AN APPLE


A ROMAN WOULD STRAIGHTWAY ARRIVE AT THE THOUGHT OF THE FRUIT APPLE WHICH HAS NO SIMILITUDE WITH THE ARTICULATE SOUND IN QUESTION NOR ANYTHING IN COMMON WITH IT


THAT IS THAT THE MAN HAS OFTEN HEARD THE WORD POMUM WHILE HE WAS LOOKING AT THE FRUIT


OR THE HUMAN MIND PERCEIVES THOSE MODIFICATIONS


THE HUMAN BODY ITSELF AND AS ACTUALLY EXISTING THEREFORE THE MIND PERCEIVES THUS FAR ONLY THE HUMAN BODY


FOLLOWING IN GOD IN THE SAME MANNER AND BEING REFERRED TO GOD IN THE SAME MANNER AS THE IDEA OR KNOWLEDGE OF THE HUMAN BODY PROOF


THE WOMAN WHO MARRIED AN OWL BY ANNE VIRGINIA CULBERTSON WHEN THE CHILDREN GOT HOME FROM THE NUTTING EXPEDITION AND HAD EATEN SUPPER THEY SAT AROUND DISCONTENTEDLY WISHING EVERY FEW MINUTES THAT THEIR MOTHER HAD RETURNED I WISH MAMMA WOULD COME BACK


SAID NED I NEVER KNOW WHAT TO DO IN THE EVENING WHEN SHE ISN'T HOME I LOW BOUT DE BES YOU ALL KIN DO IS TER LEMME PUTT YOU TER BAID SAID AUNT PHRONY DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED I'M NOT SLEEPY WANT TO STAY UP CAME IN CHORUS FROM THREE PAIRS OF LIPS


YOU CHILLEN IS WUSSER DAN NIGHT OWLS SAID THE OLD WOMAN EF YOU KEEPS ON WID DIS SETTIN' UP ALL NIGHT BIZNESS


AN DAT MINES ME A OWL WHAR TURNT HISSE'F INTER A MAN AN EF A OWL KIN DO DAT


DEY ALL MADE DER BRE'KFUS OFFEN ROAS'IN' YEARS ER DE NEW CAWN AN DEN DE DARNSE BEGUN AN LASTED FO DAYS AN FO NIGHTS


DAT SHUK AN RATTLED WID EV'Y STEP


WUZ ON HER WAY HOME ON DE FO'TH NIGHT AN SHE WUZ POW'FUL TIRED KASE DEM RATTLES IS MONST'OUS HAIVY AN SHE BIN KEEPIN HIT UP FO NIGHTS HAN RUNNIN


DAR AIN GWINE BE NO TROUBLE BOUT DAT KASE I KIN DO TALKIN NUFF FER TWO


SO DE NEX NIGHT DE GAL WENT OFF AN COMED BACK LATE WID DE YOUNG MAN HER MAMMY AX HIM IN AN GIN HIM A SEAT BY DE FIRE AN DAR HE SOT ALL WROP UP IN HIS BLINKIT WID HIS HAID TURNT WAY F'UM DE LIGHT


AN DE FIRE DIED DOWN AN DE WIND BLEWED MO'NFUL OUTSIDE


AN I SPEC HE DONE COME F'UM DAT WO'M KYOUNTRY WHAR WE YEAR TELL BOUT WAY OFF YONNER


I RECKON HE GIT SO TIRED HUNTIN ALL DAY NO WUNNER HE HATTER BLINK HIS EYES TER KEEP EM OPEN BUT HER MAMMY WAN'T SASSIFIED


HERE THE OLD WOMAN ROSE AND THREW ON A HANDFUL OF LIGHTWOOD WHICH BLAZED UP WITH A GREAT SPUTTERING AND IN THE STRONG LIGHT SHE STOOD BEFORE THE FIRE ENACTING THE PART OF THE SCARED OWL FOR THE DELIGHTED YET HALF STARTLED CHILDREN


DE FIRE BLAZE AN SPIT AN SPUTTER JES LAK DIS DO AN DE OOMAN SHE FOTCHED A YELL AN CRIED OUT SHE DID LAN ER DE MUSSIFUL


AN DE WIMMINS DEY LET OUT A TURR'BLE SCREECH KASE DEY SEED TWA'N'T NUTTIN BUT A BIG OWL SETTIN DAR BLINKIN


O O GOO COO O O GOO COO EZ HE FLEWED OFF INTER DE DARKNESS HERE AUNT PHRONY SPREAD HER ARMS LIKE WINGS AND MADE A SWOOP HALF WAY ACROSS THE ROOM TO THE BEDSIDE OF THE STARTLED CHILDREN AN SHE CONTINUED


DE WIND HOWL MO'NFUL ALL NIGHT LONG AN SEEM TER DE GAL AN HER MAMMY


AND DIDN'T HE EVER COME BACK SAID NED NAW SUH DAT HE DIDN HE WUZ TOO SHAME TER COME BACK AN HE BIN SO SHAME ER DE TRICK UVER SENCE DAT HE HIDE HISSE'F WAY IN DE DAYTIME AN NUVER COME OUT TWEL DE DUSK


HE TECK DAT TIME TOO


AFTER A LONG AND TEDIOUS DISCOURSE OF THESE SIX NON NATURAL THINGS AND THEIR SEVERAL RECTIFICATIONS


OR THAT KIND OF PHYSIC WHICH CURETH BY MEDICINES WHICH APOTHECARIES MOST PART MAKE MINGLE OR SELL IN THEIR SHOPS MANY CAVIL AT THIS KIND OF PHYSIC AND HOLD IT UNNECESSARY UNPROFITABLE TO THIS OR ANY OTHER DISEASE


BECAUSE THOSE COUNTRIES WHICH USE IT LEAST LIVE LONGEST


RELATES OF THE ISLES OF ORCADES THE PEOPLE ARE STILL SOUND OF BODY AND MIND WITHOUT ANY USE OF PHYSIC


DAMIANUS A GOES SAXO GRAMMATICUS AUBANUS BOHEMUS SAY THE LIKE OF THEM THAT LIVE IN NORWAY LAPLAND FINMARK BIARMIA CORELIA ALL OVER SCANDIA AND THOSE NORTHERN COUNTRIES THEY ARE MOST HEALTHFUL


AND VERY LONG LIVED IN WHICH PLACES THERE IS NO USE AT ALL OF PHYSIC THE NAME OF IT IS NOT ONCE HEARD DITHMARUS BLESKENIUS IN HIS ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF ICELAND SIXTEEN O SEVEN


MOST PART THEY DRINK WATER AND WHEY


I FIND THE SAME RELATION BY LERIUS AND SOME OTHER WRITERS OF INDIANS IN AMERICA PAULUS JOVIUS IN HIS DESCRIPTION OF BRITAIN AND LEVINUS LEMNIUS OBSERVE AS MUCH OF THIS OUR ISLAND


AND BUT LITTLE AT THIS DAY EXCEPT IT BE FOR A FEW NICE IDLE CITIZENS SURFEITING COURTIERS AND STALL FED GENTLEMEN LUBBERS THE COUNTRY PEOPLE USE KITCHEN PHYSIC


MANY THAT DID ILL UNDER PHYSICIANS HANDS HAVE HAPPILY ESCAPED


LEFT TO GOD AND NATURE AND THEMSELVES


JURIDICIS MEDICIS FISCO FAS VIVERE RAPTO TIS A CORRUPT TRADE NO SCIENCE ART NO PROFESSION THE BEGINNING PRACTICE AND PROGRESS OF IT ALL IS NAUGHT FULL OF IMPOSTURE UNCERTAINTY AND DOTH GENERALLY MORE HARM THAN GOOD


THE DEVIL HIMSELF WAS THE FIRST INVENTOR OF IT


AND WHAT WAS APOLLO BUT THE DEVIL THE GREEKS FIRST MADE AN ART OF IT AND THEY WERE ALL DELUDED BY APOLLO'S SONS PRIESTS ORACLES IF WE MAY BELIEVE VARRO PLINY COLUMELLA MOST OF THEIR BEST MEDICINES WERE DERIVED FROM HIS ORACLES


AESCULAPIUS HIS SON HAD HIS TEMPLES ERECTED TO HIS DEITY AND DID MANY FAMOUS CURES BUT AS LACTANTIUS HOLDS HE WAS A MAGICIAN A MERE IMPOSTOR


PERFORMED MOST OF THEIR CURES THE FIRST THAT EVER WROTE IN PHYSIC TO ANY PURPOSE WAS HIPPOCRATES AND HIS DISCIPLE AND COMMENTATOR GALEN WHOM SCALIGER CALLS FIMBRIAM HIPPOCRATIS


THEIR PRECEPTS CONFUSED THEIR MEDICINES OBSOLETE AND NOW MOST PART REJECTED THOSE CURES WHICH THEY DID PARACELSUS HOLDS


THEY THEMSELVES IDIOTS AND INFANTS AS ARE ALL THEIR ACADEMICAL FOLLOWERS THE ARABIANS RECEIVED IT FROM THE GREEKS AND SO THE LATINS ADDING NEW PRECEPTS AND MEDICINES OF THEIR OWN BUT SO IMPERFECT STILL THAT THROUGH IGNORANCE OF PROFESSORS IMPOSTORS MOUNTEBANKS EMPIRICS


DISAGREEING OF SECTARIES WHICH ARE AS MANY ALMOST AS THERE BE DISEASES ENVY COVETOUSNESS AND THE LIKE THEY DO MUCH HARM AMONGST US


AS HE SAID OF ADRIAN MULTITUDO MEDICORUM PRINCIPEM INTERFECIT A MULTITUDE OF PHYSICIANS HATH KILLED THE EMPEROR PLUS A MEDICO QUAM A MORBO PERICULI MORE DANGER THERE IS FROM THE PHYSICIAN THAN FROM THE DISEASE


DOTH APPROPRIATE IT TO HERSELF AND TELLS A STORY OF ONE CURTIUS A PHYSICIAN IN VENICE BECAUSE HE WAS A STRANGER AND PRACTISED AMONGST THEM THE REST OF THE PHYSICIANS DID STILL CROSS HIM IN ALL HIS PRECEPTS IF HE PRESCRIBED HOT MEDICINES THEY WOULD PRESCRIBE COLD


MISCENTES PRO CALIDIS FRIGIDA PRO FRIGIDIS HUMIDA PRO PURGANTIBUS ASTRINGENTIA BINDERS FOR PURGATIVES OMNIA PERTURBABANT IF THE PARTY MISCARRIED CURTIUM DAMNABANT CURTIUS KILLED HIM THAT DISAGREED FROM THEM


SOMETIMES STUMBLES THEM ALL THEY CANNOT SO MUCH AS EASE THEY KNOW NOT HOW TO JUDGE OF IT IF BY PULSES THAT DOCTRINE SOME HOLD IS WHOLLY SUPERSTITIOUS


IS NEITHER OBSERVED NOR UNDERSTOOD OF ANY AND FOR URINE THAT IS MERETRIX MEDICORUM THE MOST DECEITFUL THING OF ALL AS FORESTUS AND SOME OTHER PHYSICIANS HAVE PROVED AT LARGE


I HAD RATHER BELIEVE AND COMMIT MYSELF TO A MERE EMPIRIC THAN TO A MERE DOCTOR AND I CANNOT SUFFICIENTLY COMMEND THAT CUSTOM OF THE BABYLONIANS THAT HAVE NO PROFESSED PHYSICIANS BUT BRING ALL THEIR PATIENTS TO THE MARKET TO BE CURED


WHICH HERODOTUS RELATES OF THE EGYPTIANS STRABO SARDUS AND AUBANUS BOHEMUS OF MANY OTHER NATIONS AND THOSE THAT PRESCRIBED PHYSIC


A SECOND THE TEETH A THIRD THE HEAD


I ACKNOWLEDGE IT A MOST NOBLE AND DIVINE SCIENCE


AND THOSE OTHER GODS WERE CONFINED AND ADORED ALONE IN SOME PECULIAR PLACES AESCULAPIUS AND HIS TEMPLE AND ALTARS EVERYWHERE


WITH ALL VIRTUOUS AND WISE MEN THEREFORE I HONOUR THE NAME AND CALLING AS I AM ENJOINED TO HONOUR THE PHYSICIAN FOR NECESSITY'S SAKE THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE PHYSICIAN LIFTETH UP HIS HEAD AND IN THE SIGHT OF GREAT MEN HE SHALL BE ADMIRED


BUT OF THIS NOBLE SUBJECT HOW MANY PANEGYRICS ARE WORTHILY WRITTEN


I HAVE SAID YET ONE THING I WILL ADD THAT THIS KIND OF PHYSIC IS VERY MODERATELY AND ADVISEDLY TO BE USED


IS TO BE UNDERSTOOD OF SUCH PURGES AS ARE UNSEASONABLY OR IMMODERATELY TAKEN THEY HAVE THEIR EXCELLENT USE IN THIS AS WELL AS MOST OTHER INFIRMITIES OF ALTERATIVES AND CORDIALS NO MAN DOUBTS BE THEY SIMPLES OR COMPOUNDS


THE CONTRARY IS TRUE WHAT WE NEED IS NOT LESS EDUCATION BUT MORE MORE TRAINED LEADERS TO UPHOLD THE STANDARDS OF CIVILIZATION BEFORE BOTH RACES AMONG INDIAN COLLEGE AND UNIVERSITY GRADUATES A FAILURE IS VERY RARE


I AM SURE I HAVE NOT MET ONE AND REALLY DO NOT KNOW OF ONE THE PRESS IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MANY POPULAR ERRORS WHENEVER AN INDIAN INDULGES IN ANY NOTORIOUS MISBEHAVIOR HE IS WIDELY HERALDED AS A CARLISLE GRADUATE


ALTHOUGH BECAUSE OF THE WONDERFUL ATHLETIC PROWESS OF ITS STUDENTS THEY HAVE MET AND DEFEATED THE ATHLETES OF MANY A WHITE UNIVERSITY ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD


GIVING A FAIR KNOWLEDGE OF SOME TRADE TOGETHER WITH THE ESSENTIALS OF AN ENGLISH EDUCATION BUT NO LATIN OR OTHER FOREIGN LANGUAGE CONSEQUENTLY ITS GRADUATES MUST ATTEND A HIGHER PREPARATORY SCHOOL FOR SEVERAL YEARS BEFORE THEY CAN ENTER COLLEGE


IT WILL BE SEEN THEN THAT THE COLLEGE EDUCATED MEN AND WOMEN OF MY RACE HAVE ACCOMPLISHED QUITE A FEAT CONSIDERING THEIR ANTECEDENTS AND WHOLLY FOREIGN POINT OF VIEW THEY HAVE HAD TO ADJUST THEMSELVES TO A NEW WAY OF THINKING


FURTHERMORE THEY ARE ALMOST ALWAYS HAMPERED BY LACK OF MEANS NEVERTHELESS AN INCREASING NUMBER HAVE SUCCEEDED IN THE UNDERTAKING TRIALS OF THE EDUCATED INDIAN


I WISH TO CONTRADICT THE POPULAR MISCONCEPTION THAT AN EDUCATED INDIAN WILL NECESSARILY MEET WITH STRONG PREJUDICE AMONG HIS OWN PEOPLE OR WILL BE EDUCATED OUT OF SYMPATHY WITH THEM FROM THEIR POINT OF VIEW


A PARTICULARLY ABLE OR WELL EQUIPPED MAN OF THEIR RACE IS A PUBLIC BLESSING AND ALL BUT PUBLIC PROPERTY THAT WAS THE OLD RULE AMONG US UP TO A VERY RECENT PERIOD AN EDUCATED INDIAN COULD NOT SUCCEED MATERIALLY


HE COULD NOT BETTER HIMSELF BECAUSE THE PEOPLE REQUIRED HIM TO GIVE UNLIMITED FREE SERVICE ACCORDING TO THE OLD REGIME I HAVE EVEN KNOWN ONE TO BE KILLED BY THE CONTINUAL DEMANDS UPON HIM THERE WAS A TIME NOT SO LONG AGO EITHER


WHEN THE EDUCATED INDIAN STOOD IN A VERY UNCOMFORTABLE POSITION BETWEEN HIS PEOPLE AND THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS AND SHADY POLITICIANS EVERY COMPLAINT WAS BROUGHT TO HIM AS A MATTER OF COURSE AND HE WAS EXPECTED TO EXPOSE AND REDRESS EVERY WRONG


AS I HAVE SAID ELSEWHERE SUCH EFFORTS ARE GENERALLY USELESS AND RESULTED ONLY IN DAMAGE TO HIS FINANCIAL POSITION AND HIS REPUTATION NO DOUBT HE OFTEN INVITED ATTACKS UPON HIMSELF BY A RASHNESS BORN OF HIS ARDENT SYMPATHY


FOR HIS FELLOW TRIBESMEN IN THIS MATTER I SPEAK FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AS WELL AS LONG OBSERVATION EVEN IN THE OLD WILD DAYS AN EDUCATION WAS APPRECIATED BY THE INDIANS


BUT IT WAS A HARD LIFE FOR THE EDUCATED MAN THEY MADE HIM CARRY TOO HEAVY A BURDEN WITHOUT MUCH RECOMPENSE SAVE HONOR AND RESPECT BUT WE HAVE PRETTY WELL PASSED THROUGH THAT PERIOD AND THE NATIVE GRADUATES OF OUR HIGHER INSTITUTIONS


HAVE BEGUN TO SHOW THEIR STRENGTH AND ENLARGE THEIR VIEWS THEY HAVE NOT ONLY DONE WELL FOR THEMSELVES AND THEIR RACE BUT THEY STAND BEFORE THE WORLD AS LIVING ILLUSTRATIONS OF ITS CAPACITY DISPROVING MANY THEORIES CONCERNING UNTUTORED RACES


NO INFERIOR RACE IT WAS DECLARED WITHOUT QUALIFICATION BY THE UNIVERSAL RACES CONGRESS AT LONDON IN NINETEEN ELEVEN THAT THERE IS NO INHERENTLY SUPERIOR RACE


THEREFORE NO INFERIOR RACE FROM EVERY RACE SOME INDIVIDUALS HAVE MASTERED THE SAME CURRICULUM AND PASSED THE SAME TESTS AND IN SOME INSTANCES MEMBERS OF SO CALLED UNCIVILIZED RACES


BECAUSE OF THE RACIAL ENVIRONMENT CHANGE THE ENVIRONMENT AND THE RACE IS TRANSFORMED CERTAINLY THE AMERICAN INDIAN HAS CLEARLY DEMONSTRATED THE TRUTH OF THIS ASSERTION


THE VERY MENTION OF THE NAME INDIAN IN EARLIER DAYS WOULD MAKE THE AVERAGE WHITE MAN'S BLOOD CREEP WITH THOUGHTS OF THE WAR WHOOP AND THE SCALPING KNIFE


A LITTLE LATER IT SUGGESTED CHIEFLY FEATHERS AND PAINT AND BUFFALO BILL'S WILD WEST TO DAY THE ASSOCIATION IS RATHER WITH THE CARLISLE SCHOOL AND ITS FAMOUS ATHLETES


IT IS A FACT THAT THE INTELLIGENT AND EDUCATED INDIAN HAS NO SOCIAL PREJUDICE TO CONTEND WITH HIS COLOR IS NOT COUNTED AGAINST HIM HE IS RECEIVED CORDIALLY AND UPON EQUAL TERMS IN SCHOOL COLLEGE AND SOCIETY


DOCTOR BOOKER WASHINGTON IS IN THE HABIT OF SAYING JOCOSELY THAT THE NEGRO BLOOD IS THE STRONGEST IN THE WORLD FOR ONE DROP OF IT MAKES A NIGGER OF A WHITE MAN I WOULD ARGUE THAT THE INDIAN BLOOD IS EVEN STRONGER


FOR A HALF BLOOD NEGRO AND INDIAN MAY PASS FOR AN INDIAN AND SO BE ADMITTED TO FIRST CLASS HOTELS AND EVEN TO HIGH SOCIETY


IS TO GET AN EDUCATION AND HOLD UP HIS HEAD AS A MEMBER OF THE OLDEST AMERICAN ARISTOCRACY MANY OF OUR LEADING MEN HAVE MARRIED INTO EXCELLENT FAMILIES AND ARE PROMINENT IN CULTIVATED WHITE COMMUNITIES


WE WANT THE BEST IN TWO RACES AND CIVILIZATIONS IN EXCHANGE FOR WHAT WE HAVE LOST SOME OF US HAVE ENTERED UPON EVERY KNOWN PROFESSIONAL CAREER SUCH AS MEDICINE LAW THE MINISTRY EDUCATION AND THE SCIENCES


POLITICS AND HIGHER BUSINESS MANAGEMENT ART AND LITERATURE IT MAY BE WELL TO MENTION SOME OF OUR BEST KNOWN PROFESSIONAL MEN AND WOMEN


AT FIRST TO BE SURE AS INDIAN HERB DOCTORS OR QUACKS OF ONE SORT OR ANOTHER BUT LATER AS COMPETENT GRADUATED PHYSICIANS THE GOVERNMENT HAS UTILIZED SEVERAL IN THE INDIAN SERVICE AND OTHERS HAVE ESTABLISHED THEMSELVES IN PRIVATE PRACTICE


SOME NOTED INDIANS OF TO DAY PERHAPS THE FOREMOST OF THESE IS DOCTOR CARLOS MONTEZUMA OF CHICAGO A FULL BLOODED APACHE


WHO WERE ENEMIES OF HIS PEOPLE HE WAS BROUGHT TO CHICAGO BY THE MAN WHO RANSOMED HIM A REPORTER AND PHOTOGRAPHER AND WHEN HIS BENEFACTOR DIED THE BOY BECAME THE PROTEGE OF THE CHICAGO PRESS CLUB


AND FROM THERE TO THE NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY WHERE HE WAS GRADUATED FROM THE MEDICAL DEPARTMENT ALL THIS TIME ALTHOUGH RECEIVING SOME AID FROM VARIOUS SOURCES HE LARGELY SUPPORTED HIMSELF


AFTER GRADUATION DOCTOR MONTEZUMA WAS SENT BY THE GOVERNMENT AS PHYSICIAN TO AN INDIAN AGENCY IN MONTANA AND LATER TRANSFERRED TO THE CARLISLE SCHOOL IN A FEW YEARS HE RETURNED TO CHICAGO AND OPENED AN OFFICE


HE HAS BEEN A PROMINENT PHYSICIAN THERE FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS AND WAS RECENTLY MARRIED TO A LADY OF GERMAN DESCENT HE STANDS UNCOMPROMISINGLY FOR THE TOTAL ABOLITION OF THE RESERVATION SYSTEM AND OF THE INDIAN BUREAU


HOLDING THAT THE RED MAN MUST BE ALLOWED TO WORK OUT HIS OWN SALVATION ONE OF THE EARLIEST PRACTITIONERS OF OUR RACE WAS DOCTOR SUSAN LA FLESCHE PICOTTE OF THE OMAHA TRIBE


SHE HAS SINCE TAKEN UP PRIVATE PRACTICE AND ALSO HAD CHARGE OF A MISSION HOSPITAL DOCTOR PICOTTE IS A SISTER OF BRIGHT EYES SUSETTE LA FLESCHE AND ALSO OF FRANCIS LA FLESCHE OF WASHINGTON D C


THERE IS ANOTHER INDIAN DOCTOR NOT OF FULL BLOOD WHO IS PRESIDENT OF THE CITY CLUB OF CHICAGO AND ACTIVE IN CIVIC REFORM IN SEVERAL MIDDLE WESTERN CITIES THERE ARE SUCCESSFUL DOCTORS AND DENTISTS OF MY RACE


WAS A SUCCESSFUL LAWYER IN TOPEKA WHEN HE WAS ELECTED TO THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES AND LATER TO THE UNITED STATES SENATE HIS MOTHER IS A KAW INDIAN MISTER CURTIS WAS AND IS A LEADER OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY IN HIS STATE


SENATOR OWEN OF OKLAHOMA IS PART CHEROKEE THE WHOLE COUNTRY HAS COME TO REALIZE HIS ABILITY AND INFLUENCE REPRESENTATIVE CARTER OF OKLAHOMA IS ALSO AN INDIAN


DURING MY STUDENT DAYS IN NEW HAMPSHIRE I WAS OFTEN TOLD THAT DANIEL WEBSTER WAS PART INDIAN ON HIS MOTHER'S SIDE CERTAINLY HIS PHYSIOGNOMY AS WELL AS HIS UNEQUALLED LOGIC CORROBORATED THE STORY


WE ALL KNOW THAT GOVERNORS AND OTHER MEN OF MARK HAVE PROCLAIMED THEMSELVES DESCENDANTS OF POCAHONTAS I HAVE MET SEVERAL IN THE WEST AND SOUTH


BUT HAVE NEVER VERIFIED IT THEIR WONDERFUL AGGRESSIVENESS AND DAUNTLESS PUBLIC SERVICE IN MY MIND POINT TO NATIVE DESCENT AND IF THEY CAN TRUTHFULLY CLAIM IT


AS LATE AS EIGHTEEN SEVENTY SIX DOCTOR WASHINGTON MATHEWS A SURGEON IN THE UNITED STATES ARMY


AND LEFT HIM WITH THE MISSIONARY TEACHER DOCTOR ALFRED L RIGGS TO REAR AND EDUCATE THIS MILITARY SURGEON AND SCIENTIST NOT ONLY ATTAINED THE RANK OF MAJOR GENERAL BUT HE BECAME ONE OF OUR FOREMOST ARCHAEOLOGISTS


I WILL NOT PRETEND TO CLAIM FOR THE INDIAN ALL THE CREDIT OF THEIR TALENTS AND ENERGY IN THE MINISTRY WE HAVE MANY ABLE AND DEVOTED MEN MORE THAN IN ANY OTHER PROFESSION


IS WELL KNOWN AS AN EVANGELISTIC PREACHER AND SINGER


A FULL BLOOD ARAPAHOE HE HAS HAD AN UNUSUAL CAREER HAVING BEEN TAKEN PRISONER AS A BOY BY AN OFFICER OF THE ARMY HE WAS SENT TO SCHOOL AND EVENTUALLY GRADUATED FROM BISHOP WHIPPLE'S SEABURY DIVINITY SCHOOL AT FARIBAULT MINNESOTA


SINCE THAT TIME DOCTOR COOLIDGE HAS DEVOTED HIMSELF TO THE CHRISTIANIZATION OF HIS RACE


HE HAD UNUSUAL ELOQUENCE AND PERSONAL CHARM AND BECAME AT ONCE ONE OF BISHOP HARE'S ABLEST HELPERS IN HIS GREAT WORK AMONG THE SIOUX STATIONED AT PINE RIDGE AT THE TIME OF THE WOUNDED KNEE MASSACRE


HE OPENED HIS CHURCH TO THE WOUNDED INDIAN PRISONERS AS AN EMERGENCY HOSPITAL HIS MUCH REGRETTED DEATH OCCURRED A FEW MONTHS LATER HE WAS A TIRELESS WORKER AND MUCH LOVED BY HIS PEOPLE


GRADUATED FROM YALE AND OBERLIN


HAS DONE GOOD WORK AS FIELD SECRETARY AMONG THE INDIANS FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS I SHOULD ADD THAT THERE ARE MANY MINISTERS OF MY RACE WHO HAVE NO COLLEGE DEGREE NOR MUCH EDUCATION IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE YET WHO ARE AMONG OUR MOST ABLE AND INFLUENTIAL LEADERS


WHO PASSED BUT A SHORT TIME IN SCHOOL HAS NOT ONLY BEEN A SUCCESSFUL PREACHER AMONG THE SIOUX BUT FOR MANY YEARS THEIR TRUSTED ADVISER AND REPRESENTATIVE TO LOOK AFTER THEIR INTERESTS AT THE NATIONAL CAPITAL


MOST OF THEM IN THE UNITED STATES INDIAN SERVICE IT IS THE EXPRESS POLICY OF THE GOVERNMENT TO USE THE EDUCATED INDIANS WHENEVER POSSIBLE IN PROMOTING THE ADVANCEMENT OF THEIR RACE INDEED SOME OF THE TREATIES INCLUDE THIS STIPULATION


AND ALTHOUGH THEY MUST PASS A CIVIL SERVICE EXAMINATION TO PROVE THEIR FITNESS SUCH EXAMINATION IN THEIR CASE IS NON COMPETITIVE THEY HAVE BEEN PREPARED IN THE LARGER GOVERNMENT SCHOOLS IN MANY INSTANCES WITH THE ADDITION OF NORMAL AND COLLEGE COURSES


AT LEAST TWO ARE SUPERINTENDENTS OF SCHOOLS A NUMBER OF YOUNG WOMEN CARLISLE GRADUATES HAVE TAKEN UP TRAINED NURSING AS A PROFESSION AND ARE PRACTISING SUCCESSFULLY BOTH AMONG WHITES AND INDIANS


IN THE SCIENCES ESPECIALLY IN ETHNOLOGY AND ARCHAEOLOGY WE HAVE SEVERAL WHO HAVE RENDERED MATERIAL SERVICE WILLIAM JONES A SAC AND FOX QUARTER BLOOD WAS A GRADUATE OF HAMPTON AND OF HARVARD UNIVERSITY


DOCTOR PUTNAM AND DOCTOR BOAS THE LATTER HAS CALLED HIM ONE OF OUR ABLEST ARCHAEOLOGISTS DOCTOR JONES TRAVELLED AMONG THE VARIOUS TRIBES EVEN TO THE COAST OF LABRADOR AND LABORED ASSIDUOUSLY IN THE CAUSE OF SCIENCE FOR HARVARD


AND THE MARSHALL FIELD MUSEUM OF CHICAGO AS WELL AS OTHER INSTITUTIONS IT WAS THE CHICAGO MUSEUM WHICH SENT HIM TO THE PHILIPPINE ISLANDS WHERE HE WAS MURDERED BY THE NATIVES A FEW YEARS AGO


IN LITERATURE SEVERAL WRITERS OF INDIAN BLOOD HAVE APPEARED DURING THE PAST FEW YEARS AND HAVE WON A MEASURE OF RECOGNITION FRANCIS LA FLESCHE AN OMAHA HAS COLLABORATED WITH MISS ALICE C FETCHER


IN ETHNOLOGICAL WORK AND IS ALSO THE AUTHOR OF A PLEASING STORY OF LIFE IN AN INDIAN SCHOOL CALLED THE MIDDLE FIVE ZITKALASA A SIOUX NOW MISSUS BONNEY


ATTENDED A WESTERN COLLEGE WHERE SHE DISTINGUISHED HERSELF IN AN INTERCOLLEGIATE ORATORICAL CONTEST SOON AFTERWARD SHE APPEARED IN THE ATLANTIC MONTHLY AS THE WRITER OF SEVERAL PAPERS OF AN AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL NATURE


WHICH ATTRACTED FAVORABLE ATTENTION AND WERE FOLLOWED BY A LITTLE VOLUME OF INDIAN LEGENDS AND SEVERAL SHORT STORIES MISSUS BONNEY HAS MORE RECENTLY WRITTEN THE BOOK OF AN INDIAN OPERA CALLED THE SUN DANCE WHICH HAS BEEN PRODUCED IN SALT LAKE CITY


BY UNIVERSITY STUDENTS JOHN OSKINSON A CHEROKEE WAS FIRST HEARD OF AS THE WINNER IN AN INTERCOLLEGIATE LITERARY CONTEST AND HE IS NOW ON THE STAFF OF COLLIER'S WEEKLY THE FIVE CIVILIZED NATIONS OF OKLAHOMA


CAN SHOW MANY OTHER WRITERS AND JOURNALISTS IN HIGHER BUSINESS LINES A NUMBER HAVE SHOWN SPECIAL ABILITY GENERAL PLEASANT PORTER WHO DIED RECENTLY WAS PRESIDENT OF A SHORT RAILROAD LINE IN OKLAHOMA


MISTER HILL OF TEXAS IS REPUTED TO BE A MILLIONAIRE HOWARD GANSWORTH A GRADUATE OF CARLISLE AND PRINCETON


IN THE ATHLETIC WORLD THIS LITTLE RACE HAS NO PEER AS IS SUFFICIENTLY PROVEN BY THEIR REMARKABLE RECORD IN FOOTBALL BASEBALL AND TRACK ATHLETICS


WHY HE DID NOT INTRODUCE FOOTBALL IN HIS SCHOOL WHY SAID HE IF I DID THAT HALF THE PRESS OF THE COUNTRY WOULD ATTACK ME FOR DEVELOPING THE ORIGINAL WAR INSTINCTS AND SAVAGERY OF THE INDIAN THE PUBLIC WOULD BE AFRAID TO COME TO OUR GAMES


AT LEAST NOT IN PUBLIC NOT LONG AFTERWARD THE GAME WAS INTRODUCED AT CARLISLE AND I WAS ASKED BY THE GENERAL TO VISIT MONTANA AND THE DAKOTAS TO SECURE PUPILS FOR THE SCHOOL AND INCIDENTALLY RECRUITS FOR HIS FOOTBALL WARRIORS


THE INDIANS VICTORY WAS COMPLETE THESE BOYS ALWAYS FIGHT THE BATTLE ON ITS OWN MERITS THEY PLAY A CLEAN GAME AND LOSE VERY FEW GAMES DURING THE SEASON ALTHOUGH THEY MEET ALL OUR LEADING UNIVERSITIES EACH ON ITS OWN HOME GROUNDS


FROM THE FLEET DEERFOOT TO THIS DAY WE BOAST THE NOTED NAMES OF LONGBOAT SOCKALEXIS BEMUS PIERCE FRANK HUDSON TEWANIMA METOXEN MYERS BENDER AND JIM THORPE


THORPE IS A GRADUATE OF THE CARLISLE SCHOOL AND AT THE OLYMPIC GAMES IN SWEDEN IN NINETEEN TWELVE HE WON THE TITLE OF THE GREATEST ALL ROUND ATHLETE IN THE WORLD PROBLEMS OF RACE LEADERSHIP


AND WITH OLD TRIBAL JEALOUSIES AND ANTAGONISMS YET TO BE OVERCOME ANOTHER AND A MORE SERIOUS OBSTACLE IS THE DEPENDENT POSITION OF THE INDIAN AND THE ALMOST ARBITRARY POWER IN THE HANDS OF THE INDIAN BUREAU


ABOUT FIFTEEN YEARS AGO THE IDEA OF A NATIONAL ORGANIZATION OF PROGRESSIVE INDIANS WAS DISCUSSED AT SOME LENGTH


MY BROTHER JOHN EASTMAN AND MYSELF AT THAT TIME WE CONCLUDED THAT THE MOVEMENT WOULD NOT BE UNDERSTOOD EITHER BY OUR OWN RACE OR THE AMERICAN PEOPLE IN GENERAL AND THAT THERE WAS GRAVE DANGER OF AROUSING THE ANTAGONISM OF THE BUREAU


IF SUCH A SOCIETY WERE FORMED IT WOULD NECESSARILY TAKE MANY PROBLEMS OF THE RACE UNDER CONSIDERATION AND THE OFFICIALS AT WASHINGTON AND IN THE FIELD ARE SENSITIVE TO CRITICISM


NOR ARE THEY ACCUSTOMED TO ALLOWING THE INDIAN A VOICE IN HIS OWN AFFAIRS FURTHERMORE MANY OF THE MOST PROGRESSIVE RED MEN ARE ENLISTED IN THE GOVERNMENT SERVICE WHICH WOULD MAKE THEIR POSITION A VERY DIFFICULT ONE IN CASE OF ANY FRICTION WITH THE AUTHORITIES


VERY FEW INDIANS ARE SUFFICIENTLY INDEPENDENT OF THE BUREAU TO SPEAK AND ACT WITH ABSOLUTE FREEDOM SOME TEN YEARS LATER I WAS CALLED TO COLUMBUS OHIO TO LECTURE FOR THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY


ON THE SAME COURSE WITH DOCTOR COOLIDGE AND DOCTOR MONTEZUMA PROFESSOR F A MC KENZIE OF THE UNIVERSITY ARRANGED THE COURSE AND SOON AFTERWARD HE WROTE ME THAT HE BELIEVED THE TIME WAS NOW RIPE TO ORGANIZE OUR SOCIETY


WE CORRESPONDED WITH LEADING INDIANS AND ARRANGED A MEETING AT COLUMBUS FOR THE FOLLOWING APRIL AT THIS MEETING FIVE WERE PRESENT BESIDES MYSELF DOCTOR MONTEZUMA THOMAS SLOAN CHARLES E DAGENETT HENRY STANDINGBEAR


AND MISS LAURA CORNELIUS WE ORGANIZED AS A COMMITTEE AND ISSUED A GENERAL CALL FOR A CONFERENCE IN OCTOBER AT THE UNIVERSITY UPON THE CORDIAL INVITATION OF DOCTOR MC KENZIE AND PRESIDENT THOMPSON


FOUR ANNUAL CONFERENCES HAVE NOW BEEN HELD AND THE FIFTH IS ANNOUNCED FOR NEXT OCTOBER AT OKLAHOMA CITY THE SOCIETY HAS FIVE HUNDRED ACTIVE AND ABOUT THE SAME NUMBER OF ASSOCIATE MEMBERS


THE LATTER ARE WHITE FRIENDS OF THE RACE WHO ARE IN SYMPATHY WITH OUR OBJECTS


AND ARTHUR C PARKER IS SECRETARY AND TREASURER THE SOCIETY OF AMERICAN INDIANS ISSUES A QUARTERLY JOURNAL DEVOTED TO THE PROCEEDINGS OF THE CONFERENCES AND THE INTERESTS OF THE INDIAN RACE


AND THERE ARE OTHERS AS WELL OUR PEOPLE HAVE NOT BEEN TRAINED TO WORK TOGETHER HARMONIOUSLY IT IS A SERIOUS QUESTION WHAT PRINCIPLES WE SHOULD STAND FOR AND WHAT LINE OF WORK WE OUGHT TO UNDERTAKE


SHOULD WE DEVOTE OURSELVES LARGELY TO EXPOSING THE NUMEROUS FRAUDS COMMITTED UPON INDIANS OR SHOULD WE KEEP CLEAR OF THESE MATTERS AVOID DISCUSSION OF OFFICIAL METHODS AND ACTION


AND SIMPLY AIM AT AROUSING RACIAL PRIDE AND AMBITION ALONG NEW LINES HOLDING UP A MODERN IDEAL FOR THE SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT OF OUR YOUTH SHOULD WE PETITION CONGRESS AND IN GENERAL CONTINUE ALONG THE LINES OF THE OLDER INDIAN ASSOCIATIONS


OR SHOULD WE RATHER DO INTENSIVE WORK AMONG OUR PEOPLE LOOKING ESPECIALLY TOWARD THEIR MORAL AND SOCIAL WELFARE I STAND FOR THE LATTER PLAN OTHERS THINK DIFFERENTLY AND AS A MATTER OF FACT A WASHINGTON OFFICE HAS BEEN OPENED


OBJECTS OF THE SOCIETY OF AMERICAN INDIANS FIRST TO PROMOTE AND COOPERATE WITH ALL EFFORTS LOOKING TO THE ADVANCEMENT OF THE INDIAN IN ENLIGHTENMENT WHICH LEAVE HIM FREE AS A MAN


TO DEVELOP ACCORDING TO THE NATURAL LAWS OF SOCIAL EVOLUTION SECOND TO PROVIDE THROUGH OUR OPEN CONFERENCES THE MEANS FOR A FREE DISCUSSION ON ALL SUBJECTS BEARING ON THE WELFARE OF THE RACE THIRD


TO PRESENT IN A JUST LIGHT THE TRUE HISTORY OF THE RACE TO PRESERVE ITS RECORDS AND EMULATE ITS DISTINGUISHING VIRTUES FOURTH TO PROMOTE CITIZENSHIP AND TO OBTAIN THE RIGHTS THEREOF FIFTH


SEVENTH TO DIRECT ITS ENERGIES EXCLUSIVELY TO GENERAL PRINCIPLES AND UNIVERSAL INTERESTS AND NOT ALLOW ITSELF TO BE USED FOR ANY PERSONAL OR PRIVATE INTEREST


CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE SHE TRIED TO BE CONTENT WHICH WAS A CONTRADICTION IN TERMS SHE FANATICALLY CLEANED HOUSE ALL APRIL SHE KNITTED A SWEATER FOR HUGH SHE WAS DILIGENT AT RED CROSS WORK


SHE WAS SILENT WHEN VIDA RAVED THAT THOUGH AMERICA HATED WAR AS MUCH AS EVER WE MUST INVADE GERMANY AND WIPE OUT EVERY MAN BECAUSE IT WAS NOW PROVEN THAT THERE WAS NO SOLDIER IN THE GERMAN ARMY WHO WAS NOT CRUCIFYING PRISONERS


VERY OLD AND WEAK WHO A FEW DECADES AGO HAD BEEN BOYS AND GIRLS OF THE FRONTIER RIDING BRONCOS THROUGH THE RANK WINDY GRASS OF THIS PRAIRIE THEY HOBBLED BEHIND A BAND MADE UP OF BUSINESS MEN AND HIGH SCHOOL BOYS


CHAMP WAS BROKEN HIS RHEUMATISM WAS WORSE THE ROOMS OVER THE STORE WERE SILENT HE COULD NOT DO HIS WORK AS BUYER AT THE ELEVATOR FARMERS COMING IN WITH SLED LOADS OF WHEAT COMPLAINED THAT CHAMP COULD NOT READ THE SCALE


THAT HE SEEMED ALWAYS TO BE WATCHING SOME ONE BACK IN THE DARKNESS OF THE BINS HE WAS SEEN SLIPPING THROUGH ALLEYS TALKING TO HIMSELF TRYING TO AVOID OBSERVATION CREEPING AT LAST TO THE CEMETERY ONCE CAROL FOLLOWED HIM


AND FOUND THE COARSE TOBACCO STAINED UNIMAGINATIVE OLD MAN LYING ON THE SNOW OF THE GRAVE HIS THICK ARMS SPREAD OUT ACROSS THE RAW MOUND AS IF TO PROTECT HER FROM THE COLD HER


WHO WAS ALONE THERE NOW UNCARED FOR THE ELEVATOR COMPANY EZRA STOWBODY PRESIDENT LET HIM GO THE COMPANY EZRA EXPLAINED TO CAROL HAD NO FUNDS FOR GIVING PENSIONS SHE TRIED TO HAVE HIM APPOINTED TO THE POSTMASTERSHIP


WHICH SINCE ALL THE WORK WAS DONE BY ASSISTANTS WAS THE ONE SINECURE IN TOWN THE ONE REWARD FOR POLITICAL PURITY BUT IT PROVED THAT MISTER BERT TYBEE THE FORMER BARTENDER DESIRED THE POSTMASTERSHIP AT HER SOLICITATION


LYMAN CASS GAVE CHAMP A WARM BERTH AS NIGHT WATCHMAN


HE WAS WELL BUT STILL WEAK FROM HAVING BEEN GASSED HE HAD BEEN DISCHARGED AND HE CAME HOME AS THE FIRST OF THE WAR VETERANS IT WAS RUMORED THAT HE SURPRISED VIDA BY COMING UNANNOUNCED THAT VIDA FAINTED WHEN SHE SAW HIM AND FOR A NIGHT AND DAY


WOULD NOT SHARE HIM WITH THE TOWN WHEN CAROL SAW THEM VIDA WAS HAZY ABOUT EVERYTHING EXCEPT RAYMIE AND NEVER WENT SO FAR FROM HIM THAT SHE COULD NOT SLIP HER HAND UNDER HIS WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING WHY CAROL WAS TROUBLED BY THIS INTENSITY


AND RAYMIE SURELY THIS WAS NOT RAYMIE BUT A STERNER BROTHER OF HIS THIS MAN WITH THE TIGHT BLOUSE THE SHOULDER EMBLEMS THE TRIM LEGS IN BOOTS HIS FACE SEEMED DIFFERENT HIS LIPS MORE TIGHT HE WAS NOT RAYMIE


HE WAS MAJOR WUTHERSPOON AND KENNICOTT AND CAROL WERE GRATEFUL WHEN HE DIVULGED THAT PARIS WASN'T HALF AS PRETTY AS MINNEAPOLIS THAT ALL OF THE AMERICAN SOLDIERS HAD BEEN DISTINGUISHED BY THEIR MORALITY WHEN ON LEAVE KENNICOTT WAS RESPECTFUL


TO THE HALF DOZEN BRANCH STORES WHICH HE WAS ESTABLISHING AT CROSSROADS HAMLETS HARRY WOULD BE THE TOWN'S RICH MAN IN THE COMING GENERATION AND MAJOR WUTHERSPOON WOULD RISE WITH HIM AND VIDA WAS JUBILANT THOUGH SHE WAS REGRETFUL AT HAVING TO GIVE UP


MOST OF HER RED CROSS WORK RAY STILL NEEDED NURSING SHE EXPLAINED WHEN CAROL SAW HIM WITH HIS UNIFORM OFF IN A PEPPER AND SALT SUIT AND A NEW GRAY FELT HAT SHE WAS DISAPPOINTED HE WAS NOT MAJOR WUTHERSPOON HE WAS RAYMIE


FOR A MONTH SMALL BOYS FOLLOWED HIM DOWN THE STREET AND EVERYBODY CALLED HIM MAJOR


THE WHEAT MONEY DID NOT REMAIN IN THE POCKETS OF THE FARMERS THE TOWNS EXISTED TO TAKE CARE OF ALL THAT IOWA FARMERS WERE SELLING THEIR LAND AT FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS AN ACRE AND COMING INTO MINNESOTA BUT WHOEVER BOUGHT OR SOLD OR MORTGAGED


THE TOWNSMEN INVITED THEMSELVES TO THE FEAST MILLERS REAL ESTATE MEN LAWYERS MERCHANTS AND DOCTOR WILL KENNICOTT THEY BOUGHT LAND AT A HUNDRED AND FIFTY SOLD IT NEXT DAY AT A HUNDRED AND SEVENTY AND BOUGHT AGAIN


IN THREE MONTHS KENNICOTT MADE SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS WHICH WAS RATHER MORE THAN FOUR TIMES AS MUCH AS SOCIETY PAID HIM FOR HEALING THE SICK IN EARLY SUMMER BEGAN A CAMPAIGN OF BOOSTING


BUT ALSO THE PERFECT SITE FOR FACTORIES SUMMER COTTAGES AND STATE INSTITUTIONS IN CHARGE OF THE CAMPAIGN WAS MISTER JAMES BLAUSSER WHO HAD RECENTLY COME TO TOWN TO SPECULATE IN LAND MISTER BLAUSSER WAS KNOWN AS A HUSTLER


HE LIKED TO BE CALLED HONEST JIM


NICE LIL WIFEY I'LL SAY DOC AND WHEN SHE ANSWERED NOT WARMLY THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE IMPRIMATUR HE BLEW ON HER NECK AND DID NOT KNOW THAT HE HAD BEEN INSULTED


HE WAS A LAYER ON OF HANDS HE NEVER CAME TO THE HOUSE WITHOUT TRYING TO PAW HER HE TOUCHED HER ARM LET HIS FIST BRUSH HER SIDE SHE HATED THE MAN AND SHE WAS AFRAID OF HIM SHE WONDERED IF HE HAD HEARD OF ERIK AND WAS TAKING ADVANTAGE


SHE SPOKE ILL OF HIM AT HOME AND IN PUBLIC PLACES BUT KENNICOTT AND THE OTHER POWERS INSISTED MAYBE HE IS KIND OF A ROUGHNECK


CHUCKED HIM IN THE RIBS AND SAID SAY BOY


WAIT LL I GET TIME AND I'LL MOVE THE MOUNTAINS HERE ANY MOUNTAIN WILL BE TICKLED TO DEATH TO LOCATE HERE ONCE WE GET THE WHITE WAY IN THE TOWN WELCOMED MISTER BLAUSSER AS FULLY AS CAROL SNUBBED HIM


HE WAS THE GUEST OF HONOR AT THE COMMERCIAL CLUB BANQUET AT THE MINNIEMASHIE HOUSE AN OCCASION FOR MENUS PRINTED IN GOLD BUT INJUDICIOUSLY PROOF READ FOR FREE CIGARS SOFT DAMP SLABS OF LAKE SUPERIOR WHITEFISH SERVED AS FILLET OF SOLE


DRENCHED CIGAR ASHES GRADUALLY FILLING THE SAUCERS OF COFFEE CUPS AND ORATORICAL REFERENCES TO PEP PUNCH GO VIGOR ENTERPRISE RED BLOOD HE MEN FAIR WOMEN GOD'S COUNTRY JAMES J HILL


THE BOUNTIFUL HARVEST INCREASING POPULATION FAIR RETURN ON INVESTMENTS ALIEN AGITATORS WHO THREATEN THE SECURITY OF OUR INSTITUTIONS THE HEARTHSTONE THE FOUNDATION OF THE STATE SENATOR KNUTE NELSON ONE HUNDRED PER CENT AMERICANISM AND


POINTING WITH PRIDE HARRY HAYDOCK AS CHAIRMAN INTRODUCED HONEST JIM BLAUSSER AND I AM PROUD TO SAY MY FELLOW CITIZENS THAT IN HIS BRIEF STAY HERE MISTER BLAUSSER HAS BECOME MY WARM PERSONAL FRIEND AS WELL AS MY FELLOW BOOSTER


AND I ADVISE YOU ALL TO VERY CAREFULLY ATTEND TO THE HINTS OF A MAN WHO KNOWS HOW TO ACHIEVE MISTER BLAUSSER REARED UP LIKE AN ELEPHANT WITH A CAMEL'S NECK RED FACED RED EYED HEAVY FISTED SLIGHTLY BELCHING A BORN LEADER


THERE'S A LOT OF FOLKS EVEN RIGHT HERE IN THIS FAIR STATE FAIREST AND RICHEST OF ALL THE GLORIOUS UNION THAT STAND UP ON THEIR HIND LEGS AND CLAIM THAT THE EAST AND EUROPE PUT IT ALL OVER THE GOLDEN NORTHWESTLAND NOW LET ME NAIL THAT LIE RIGHT HERE AND NOW


AH HA SAYS THEY SO JIM BLAUSSER IS CLAIMING THAT GOPHER PRAIRIE IS AS GOOD A PLACE TO LIVE IN AS LONDON AND ROME AND AND ALL THE REST OF THE BIG BURGS IS HE HOW DOES THE POOR FISH KNOW SAYS THEY WELL


I'LL TELL YOU HOW I KNOW I'VE SEEN EM I'VE DONE EUROPE FROM SOUP TO NUTS THEY CAN'T SPRING THAT STUFF ON JIM BLAUSSER AND GET AWAY WITH IT AND LET ME TELL YOU THAT THE ONLY LIVE THING IN EUROPE IS OUR BOYS THAT ARE FIGHTING THERE NOW LONDON


AND THE SAME THING GOES FOR THAT CROWD OF CRABS AND SNOBS DOWN EAST AND NEXT TIME YOU HEAR SOME ZOB FROM YAHOOVILLE ON THE HUDSON CHEWING THE RAG AND BULLING AND TRYING TO GET YOUR GOAT YOU TELL HIM THAT NO TWO FISTED ENTERPRISING WESTERNER WOULD HAVE NEW YORK FOR A GIFT


NOW THE POINT OF THIS IS I'M NOT ONLY INSISTING THAT GOPHER PRAIRIE IS GOING TO BE MINNESOTA'S PRIDE THE BRIGHTEST RAY IN THE GLORY OF THE NORTH STAR STATE


AND BRING UP THE LITTLE ONES IN AND IT'S GOT AS MUCH REFINEMENT AND CULTURE AS ANY BURG ON THE WHOLE BLOOMIN EXPANSE OF GOD'S GREEN FOOTSTOOL AND THAT GOES GET ME THAT GOES


HALF AN HOUR LATER CHAIRMAN HAYDOCK MOVED A VOTE OF THANKS TO MISTER BLAUSSER THE BOOSTERS CAMPAIGN WAS ON THE TOWN SOUGHT THAT EFFICIENT AND MODERN VARIETY OF FAME WHICH IS KNOWN AS PUBLICITY


THE BAND WAS REORGANIZED AND PROVIDED BY THE COMMERCIAL CLUB WITH UNIFORMS OF PURPLE AND GOLD THE AMATEUR BASEBALL TEAM HIRED A SEMI PROFESSIONAL PITCHER FROM DES MOINES


BOOST BOYS AND BOOST TOGETHER PUT GOPHER PRAIRIE ON THE MAP BRILLIANT RECORD OF OUR MATCHLESS TEAM THEN GLORY OF GLORIES THE TOWN PUT IN A WHITE WAY WHITE WAYS WERE IN FASHION IN THE MIDDLEWEST


THEY WERE COMPOSED OF ORNAMENTED POSTS WITH CLUSTERS OF HIGH POWERED ELECTRIC LIGHTS ALONG TWO OR THREE BLOCKS ON MAIN STREET THE DAUNTLESS CONFESSED WHITE WAY IS INSTALLED TOWN LIT UP LIKE BROADWAY SPEECH BY HON JAMES BLAUSSER


COME ON YOU TWIN CITIES OUR HAT IS IN THE RING


A RED HEADED YOUNG MAN WHO SMOKED CIGARETTES IN A LONG AMBER HOLDER CAROL READ THE BOOKLET WITH A CERTAIN WONDER


SHE LEARNED THAT PLOVER AND MINNIEMASHIE LAKES WERE WORLD FAMED FOR THEIR BEAUTEOUS WOODED SHORES AND GAMEY PIKE AND BASS NOT TO BE EQUALLED ELSEWHERE IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY THAT THE RESIDENCES OF GOPHER PRAIRIE WERE MODELS


OF DIGNITY COMFORT AND CULTURE WITH LAWNS AND GARDENS KNOWN FAR AND WIDE THAT THE GOPHER PRAIRIE SCHOOLS AND PUBLIC LIBRARY IN ITS NEAT AND COMMODIOUS BUILDING WERE CELEBRATED THROUGHOUT THE STATE THAT THE GOPHER PRAIRIE MILLS MADE THE


BEST FLOUR IN THE COUNTRY THAT THE SURROUNDING FARM LANDS WERE RENOWNED


AND THAT THE STORES IN GOPHER PRAIRIE COMPARED FAVORABLY WITH MINNEAPOLIS AND CHICAGO IN THEIR ABUNDANCE OF LUXURIES AND NECESSITIES AND THE EVER COURTEOUS ATTENTION OF THE SKILLED CLERKS SHE LEARNED IN BRIEF


THAT THIS WAS THE ONE LOGICAL LOCATION FOR FACTORIES AND WHOLESALE HOUSES


KENNICOTT WAS TRIUMPHANT WHEN THE COMMERCIAL CLUB DID CAPTURE ONE SMALL SHY FACTORY WHICH PLANNED TO MAKE WOODEN AUTOMOBILE WHEELS BUT WHEN CAROL SAW THE PROMOTER


SHE COULD NOT FEEL THAT HIS COMING MUCH MATTERED AND A YEAR AFTER WHEN HE FAILED SHE COULD NOT BE VERY SORROWFUL


BUT CAROL COULD DISCOVER NO MORE PICTURES NOR INTERESTING FOOD NOR GRACIOUS VOICES NOR AMUSING CONVERSATION NOR QUESTING MINDS SHE COULD SHE ASSERTED ENDURE A SHABBY BUT MODEST TOWN


THE TOWN SHABBY AND EGOMANIAC SHE COULD NOT ENDURE SHE COULD NURSE CHAMP PERRY AND WARM TO THE NEIGHBORLINESS OF SAM CLARK BUT SHE COULD NOT SIT APPLAUDING HONEST JIM BLAUSSER


CHAPTER SEVEN JOHNNY CHUCK JOINS THE CLASS


PETER RABBIT DELIVERED MOTHER NATURE'S MESSAGE TO JOHNNY CHUCK JOHNNY DIDN'T SEEM AT ALL PLEASED HE GRUMBLED AND GROWLED TO HIMSELF HE DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL HE DIDN'T WANT TO LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT HIS RELATIVES


HE WAS PERFECTLY SATISFIED WITH THINGS AS THEY WERE THE TRUTH IS JOHNNY CHUCK WAS ALREADY BEGINNING TO GET FAT WITH GOOD LIVING AND HE IS NATURALLY LAZY AS A RULE HE CAN FIND PLENTY TO EAT VERY NEAR HIS HOME


SO HE SELDOM GOES FAR FROM HIS OWN DOORSTEP PETER LEFT HIM GRUMBLING AND GROWLING AND CHUCKLED TO HIMSELF ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE DEAR OLD BRIAR PATCH HE KNEW THAT JOHNNY CHUCK WOULD NOT DARE DISOBEY OLD MOTHER NATURE


SURE ENOUGH THE NEXT MORNING JOHNNY CHUCK CAME WADDLING THROUGH THE GREEN FOREST JUST AS OLD MOTHER NATURE WAS ABOUT TO OPEN SCHOOL HE DIDN'T LOOK AT ALL HAPPY AND HE DIDN'T REPLY AT ALL TO THE GREETINGS OF THE OTHERS


IT WASN'T FOR YOUR BENEFIT THAT I SENT WORD FOR YOU TO BE HERE THIS MORNING IT WAS FOR THE BENEFIT OF YOUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS NOW SIT UP SO THAT ALL CAN GET A GOOD LOOK AT YOU


ONE SHOULD CALL THEM THIS IS MORE THAN I CAN UNDERSTAND BELONG TO THE MARMOT BRANCH OF THE SQUIRREL FAMILY AND WHEREVER FOUND THEY LOOK MUCH ALIKE AS YOU WILL NOTICE JOHNNY CHUCK'S COAT IS BROWNISH YELLOW


HIS FEET ARE VERY DARK BROWN ALMOST BLACK HIS HEAD IS DARK BROWN WITH LIGHT GRAY ON HIS CHEEKS BENEATH HE IS REDDISH ORANGE INCLUDING HIS THROAT HIS TAIL IS SHORT FOR A MEMBER OF THE SQUIRREL FAMILY


HE HAS A NUMBER OF WHISKERS AND THEY ARE BLACK SOME WOODCHUCKS ARE QUITE GRAY AND OCCASIONALLY THERE IS ONE WHO IS ALMOST OR WHOLLY BLACK JUST AS THERE ARE BLACK GRAY SQUIRRELS


JOHNNY HERE IS NOT FOND OF THE GREEN FOREST BUT LOVES THE OLD ORCHARD AND THE GREEN MEADOWS IN SOME PARTS OF THE COUNTRY THERE ARE MEMBERS OF HIS FAMILY WHO PREFER TO LIVE JUST ON THE EDGE OF THE GREEN FOREST YOU WILL NOTICE THAT JOHNNY HAS STOUT CLAWS


I CAN CLIMB IF I HAVE TO RETORTED JOHNNY CHUCK INDIGNANTLY I'VE CLIMBED UP BUSHES AND LOW TREES LOTS OF TIMES AND IF I CAN GET A GOOD RUN FIRST I CAN CLIMB UP THE STRAIGHT TRUNK OF A TREE WITH ROUGH BARK TO THE FIRST BRANCHES IF THEY ARE NOT TOO FAR ABOVE GROUND


JOHNNY CHUCK CERTAINLY IS RIGHT AT HOME WHEN IT COMES TO DIGGING YOU OUGHT TO BE THANKFUL THAT HE IS SAID OLD MOTHER NATURE FOR THE HOLES HE HAS DUG HAVE SAVED YOUR LIFE MORE THAN ONCE BY THE WAY PETER SINCE YOU ARE SO WELL ACQUAINTED WITH THOSE HOLES


PETER WAS DELIGHTED TO AIR HIS KNOWLEDGE THE LAST ONE I WAS IN SAID HE WAS A LONG TUNNEL SLANTING DOWN FOR QUITE A DISTANCE AND THEN STRAIGHTENING OUT THE ENTRANCE WAS QUITE LARGE WITH A BIG HEAP OF SAND OUT IN FRONT OF IT


DOWN A LITTLE WAY THE TUNNEL GREW SMALLER AND THEN REMAINED THE SAME SIZE ALL THE REST OF THE WAY WAY DOWN AT THE FARTHER END WAS A NICE LITTLE BEDROOM WITH SOME GRASS IN IT THERE WERE ONE OR TWO OTHER LITTLE ROOMS


AND THERE WERE TWO BRANCH TUNNELS LEADING UP TO THE SURFACE OF THE GROUND MAKING SIDE OR BACK DOORWAYS THERE WAS NO SAND AROUND EITHER OF THESE AND THEY WERE QUITE HIDDEN BY THE LONG GRASS HANGING OVER THEM


THOSE BACK DOORWAYS ARE VERY HANDY IN TIME OF DANGER DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE THREE DOORWAYS ASKED HAPPY JACK


AND ONCE IN A WHILE ONLY ONE BUT THAT ISN'T REALLY SAFE


SOMETIMES HOWEVER IF WE CANNOT FIND A PLACE THAT JUST SUITS US WE GO QUITE A DISTANCE ARE YOUR BABIES BORN DOWN IN THAT LITTLE BEDROOM IN THE GROUND ASKED JUMPER THE HARE OF COURSE REPLIED JOHNNY CHUCK


NO REPLIED JOHNNY CHUCK GIVE ME GREEN FOOD EVERY TIME THERE IS NOTHING SO GOOD AS TENDER SWEET CLOVER AND YOUNG GRASS UNLESS IT BE SOME OF THOSE FINE VEGETABLES FARMER BROWN GROWS IN HIS GARDEN


I AM AS THIN AS I WAS FAT IN THE FALL THIS IS BECAUSE I HAVE USED UP THE FAT WAITING FOR THE FIRST GREEN THINGS TO APPEAR DO YOU HAVE MANY ENEMIES ASKED PETER RABBIT WHO HAS SO MANY HIMSELF THAT HE IS CONSTANTLY THINKING OF THEM


I AM AFRAID OF SHADOW THE WEASEL REDDY FOX HAS TRIED TO DIG ME OUT MORE THAN ONCE BUT I CAN DIG FASTER THAN HE CAN IF HE EVER GETS ME CORNERED HE'LL FIND THAT I CAN FIGHT


TIME IS UP INTERRUPTED OLD MOTHER NATURE


AND ON THE PRAIRIES OF THE GREAT WEST HE HAS A SMALLER COUSIN NAMED


AND TO MORROW I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT THEM IF YOU WANT ME TO


JOHNNY CHUCK HUNG HIS HEAD FOR HE WAS A LITTLE ASHAMED THAT HE HAD BEEN SO UNWILLING TO COME THAT MORNING IF YOU PLEASE MOTHER NATURE SAID HE I THINK I'LL COME I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD ANY CLOSE RELATIVES AND I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THEM


THOUGH THE ARMISTICE WITH GERMANY WAS SIGNED A FEW WEEKS AFTER HER COMING TO WASHINGTON THE WORK OF THE BUREAU CONTINUED SHE FILED CORRESPONDENCE ALL DAY THEN SHE DICTATED ANSWERS TO LETTERS OF INQUIRY IT WAS AN ENDURANCE OF MONOTONOUS DETAILS


YET SHE ASSERTED THAT SHE HAD FOUND REAL WORK DISILLUSIONS SHE DID HAVE SHE DISCOVERED THAT IN THE AFTERNOON OFFICE ROUTINE STRETCHES TO THE GRAVE SHE DISCOVERED THAT AN OFFICE IS AS FULL OF CLIQUES AND SCANDALS AS A GOPHER PRAIRIE


A FREE SUNDAY IT DID NOT APPEAR THAT THE GREAT WORLD NEEDED HER INSPIRATION BUT SHE FELT THAT HER LETTERS HER CONTACT WITH THE ANXIETIES OF MEN AND WOMEN ALL OVER THE COUNTRY WERE A PART OF VAST AFFAIRS


NOT CONFINED TO MAIN STREET AND A KITCHEN BUT LINKED WITH PARIS BANGKOK MADRID SHE PERCEIVED THAT SHE COULD DO OFFICE WORK WITHOUT LOSING ANY OF THE PUTATIVE FEMININE VIRTUE OF DOMESTICITY THAT COOKING AND CLEANING


NOT TO HAVE TO REPORT TO KENNICOTT AT THE END OF THE DAY ALL THAT SHE HAD DONE OR MIGHT DO WAS A RELIEF WHICH MADE UP FOR THE OFFICE WEARINESS SHE FELT THAT SHE WAS NO LONGER ONE HALF OF A MARRIAGE


WHITE COLUMNS SEEN ACROSS LEAFY PARKS SPACIOUS AVENUES TWISTY ALLEYS DAILY SHE PASSED A DARK SQUARE HOUSE WITH A HINT OF MAGNOLIAS AND A COURTYARD BEHIND IT AND A TALL CURTAINED SECOND STORY WINDOW THROUGH WHICH A WOMAN WAS ALWAYS PEERING


THE WOMAN WAS MYSTERY ROMANCE A STORY WHICH TOLD ITSELF DIFFERENTLY EVERY DAY NOW SHE WAS A MURDERESS NOW THE NEGLECTED WIFE OF AN AMBASSADOR IT WAS MYSTERY WHICH CAROL HAD MOST LACKED IN GOPHER PRAIRIE


WHERE EVERY HOUSE WAS OPEN TO VIEW WHERE EVERY PERSON WAS BUT TOO EASY TO MEET WHERE THERE WERE NO SECRET GATES OPENING UPON MOORS OVER WHICH ONE MIGHT WALK BY MOSS DEADENED PATHS TO STRANGE HIGH ADVENTURES IN AN ANCIENT GARDEN


AS SHE FLITTED UP SIXTEENTH STREET AFTER A KREISLER RECITAL GIVEN LATE IN THE AFTERNOON FOR THE GOVERNMENT CLERKS AS THE LAMPS KINDLED IN SPHERES OF SOFT FIRE AS THE BREEZE FLOWED INTO THE STREET FRESH AS PRAIRIE WINDS AND KINDLIER


AS SHE GLANCED UP THE ELM ALLEY OF MASSACHUSETTS AVENUE AS SHE WAS RESTED BY THE INTEGRITY OF THE SCOTTISH RITE TEMPLE SHE LOVED THE CITY AS SHE LOVED NO ONE SAVE HUGH SHE ENCOUNTERED NEGRO SHANTIES TURNED INTO STUDIOS


WITH ORANGE CURTAINS AND POTS OF MIGNONETTE MARBLE HOUSES ON NEW HAMPSHIRE AVENUE WITH BUTLERS AND LIMOUSINES AND MEN WHO LOOKED LIKE FICTIONAL EXPLORERS AND AVIATORS HER DAYS WERE SWIFT AND SHE KNEW THAT IN HER FOLLY OF RUNNING AWAY


WERE THE MEMBERS OF THE TINCOMB METHODIST CHURCH A VAST RED BRICK TABERNACLE VIDA SHERWIN HAD GIVEN HER A LETTER TO AN EARNEST WOMAN WITH EYE GLASSES PLAID SILK WAIST AND A BELIEF IN BIBLE CLASSES WHO INTRODUCED HER TO THE PASTOR AND THE


THEY WENT TO SUNDAY SERVICE SUNDAY SCHOOL CHRISTIAN ENDEAVOR MISSIONARY LECTURES CHURCH SUPPERS PRECISELY AS THEY HAD AT HOME THEY AGREED THAT AMBASSADORS AND FLIPPANT NEWSPAPERMEN AND INFIDEL SCIENTISTS OF THE BUREAUS


WERE EQUALLY WICKED AND TO BE AVOIDED AND BY CLEAVING TO TINCOMB CHURCH THEY KEPT THEIR IDEALS FROM ALL CONTAMINATION THEY WELCOMED CAROL ASKED ABOUT HER HUSBAND GAVE HER ADVICE REGARDING COLIC IN BABIES


PASSED HER THE GINGERBREAD AND SCALLOPED POTATOES AT CHURCH SUPPERS AND IN GENERAL MADE HER VERY UNHAPPY AND LONELY SO THAT SHE WONDERED IF SHE MIGHT NOT ENLIST IN THE MILITANT SUFFRAGE ORGANIZATION AND BE ALLOWED TO GO TO JAIL


ALWAYS SHE WAS TO PERCEIVE IN WASHINGTON AS DOUBTLESS SHE WOULD HAVE PERCEIVED IN NEW YORK OR LONDON A THICK STREAK OF MAIN STREET THE CAUTIOUS DULLNESS OF A GOPHER PRAIRIE APPEARED IN BOARDING HOUSES WHERE LADYLIKE BUREAU CLERKS


ABOUT NOTHING IN PARTICULAR THE CAPTAIN INTRODUCED HER TO THE SECRETARY OF A CONGRESSMAN A CYNICAL YOUNG WIDOW WITH MANY ACQUAINTANCES IN THE NAVY THROUGH HER CAROL MET COMMANDERS AND MAJORS NEWSPAPERMEN


CHEMISTS AND GEOGRAPHERS AND FISCAL EXPERTS FROM THE BUREAUS AND A TEACHER WHO WAS A FAMILIAR OF THE MILITANT SUFFRAGE HEADQUARTERS THE TEACHER TOOK HER TO HEADQUARTERS CAROL NEVER BECAME A PROMINENT SUFFRAGIST


INDEED HER ONLY RECOGNIZED POSITION WAS AS AN ABLE ADDRESSER OF ENVELOPES BUT SHE WAS CASUALLY ADOPTED BY THIS FAMILY OF FRIENDLY WOMEN WHO WHEN THEY WERE NOT BEING MOBBED OR ARRESTED TOOK DANCING LESSONS OR WENT PICNICKING UP THE CHESAPEAKE CANAL


THOUGH IT ABSORBED MOST OF HER SALARY AN EXCELLENT NURSE FOR HUGH SHE HERSELF PUT HIM TO BED AND PLAYED WITH HIM ON HOLIDAYS THERE WERE WALKS WITH HIM THERE WERE MOTIONLESS EVENINGS OF READING BUT CHIEFLY WASHINGTON WAS ASSOCIATED WITH PEOPLE


SCORES OF THEM SITTING ABOUT THE FLAT TALKING TALKING TALKING NOT ALWAYS WISELY BUT ALWAYS EXCITEDLY IT WAS NOT AT ALL THE ARTIST'S STUDIO OF WHICH BECAUSE OF ITS PERSISTENCE IN FICTION SHE HAD DREAMED


BUT THEY PLAYED VERY SIMPLY AND THEY SAW NO REASON WHY ANYTHING WHICH EXISTS CANNOT ALSO BE ACKNOWLEDGED SHE WAS SOMETIMES SHOCKED QUITE AS SHE HAD SHOCKED GOPHER PRAIRIE BY THESE GIRLS WITH THEIR CIGARETTES AND ELFISH KNOWLEDGE


THE PRESENCE OF HUGH MADE HER FEEL TEMPORARY SOME DAY OH SHE'D HAVE TO TAKE HIM BACK TO OPEN FIELDS AND THE RIGHT TO CLIMB ABOUT HAY LOFTS BUT THE FACT THAT SHE COULD NEVER BE EMINENT AMONG THESE SCOFFING ENTHUSIASTS


DID NOT KEEP HER FROM BEING PROUD OF THEM FROM DEFENDING THEM IN IMAGINARY CONVERSATIONS WITH KENNICOTT WHO GRUNTED SHE COULD HEAR HIS VOICE THEY'RE SIMPLY A BUNCH OF WILD IMPRACTICAL THEORISTS SITTIN ROUND CHEWING THE RAG AND


THE ACCEPTANCE OF WOMEN WITHOUT EMBARRASSED BANTER FOR WHICH SHE HAD LONGED IN GOPHER PRAIRIE YET THEY SEEMED TO BE AS EFFICIENT AS THE SAM CLARKS SHE CONCLUDED THAT IT WAS BECAUSE THEY WERE OF SECURE REPUTATION NOT HEMMED IN BY THE FIRE OF PROVINCIAL JEALOUSIES


KENNICOTT HAD ASSERTED THAT THE VILLAGER'S LACK OF COURTESY IS DUE TO HIS POVERTY WE'RE NO MILLIONAIRE DUDES HE BOASTED YET THESE ARMY AND NAVY MEN THESE BUREAU EXPERTS AND ORGANIZERS OF MULTITUDINOUS LEAGUES


THAT INSTITUTION IS RESERVED FOR MEN LIKE KENNICOTT WHO AFTER DEVOTING FIFTY YEARS TO PUTTING ASIDE A STAKE INCONTINENTLY INVEST THE STAKE IN SPURIOUS OIL STOCKS


SHE FOUND THE SAME FAITH NOT ONLY IN GIRLS ESCAPED FROM DOMESTICITY BUT ALSO IN DEMURE OLD LADIES WHO TRAGICALLY DEPRIVED OF ESTEEMED HUSBANDS AND HUGE OLD HOUSES


YET MANAGED TO MAKE A VERY COMFORTABLE THING OF IT BY LIVING IN SMALL FLATS AND HAVING TIME TO READ BUT SHE ALSO LEARNED THAT BY COMPARISON GOPHER PRAIRIE WAS A MODEL OF DARING COLOR CLEVER PLANNING AND FRENZIED INTELLECTUALITY


FROM HER TEACHER HOUSEMATE SHE HAD A SARDONIC DESCRIPTION OF A MIDDLEWESTERN RAILROAD DIVISION TOWN OF THE SAME SIZE AS GOPHER PRAIRIE BUT DEVOID OF LAWNS AND TREES A TOWN WHERE THE TRACKS SPRAWLED ALONG THE CINDER SCABBED MAIN STREET AND THE RAILROAD SHOPS


DRIPPING SOOT FROM EAVES AND DOORWAY ROLLED OUT SMOKE IN GREASY COILS OTHER TOWNS SHE CAME TO KNOW BY ANECDOTE A PRAIRIE VILLAGE WHERE THE WIND BLEW ALL DAY LONG AND THE MUD WAS TWO FEET THICK IN SPRING AND IN SUMMER


NEW ENGLAND MILL TOWNS WITH THE HANDS LIVING IN ROWS OF COTTAGES LIKE BLOCKS OF LAVA A RICH FARMING CENTER IN NEW JERSEY OFF THE RAILROAD FURIOUSLY PIOUS RULED BY OLD MEN UNBELIEVABLY IGNORANT OLD MEN


SITTING ABOUT THE GROCERY TALKING OF JAMES G BLAINE A SOUTHERN TOWN FULL OF THE MAGNOLIAS AND WHITE COLUMNS WHICH CAROL HAD ACCEPTED AS PROOF OF ROMANCE BUT HATING THE NEGROES OBSEQUIOUS TO THE OLD FAMILIES


A WESTERN MINING SETTLEMENT LIKE A TUMOR A BOOMING SEMI CITY WITH PARKS AND CLEVER ARCHITECTS VISITED BY FAMOUS PIANISTS AND UNCTUOUS LECTURERS BUT IRRITABLE FROM A STRUGGLE BETWEEN UNION LABOR AND THE MANUFACTURERS ASSOCIATION


THE LINES ARE BROKEN AND UNCERTAIN OF DIRECTION OFTEN INSTEAD OF RISING THEY SINK IN WAVERING SCRAWLS AND THE COLORS ARE WATERY BLUE AND PINK AND THE DIM GRAY OF RUBBED PENCIL MARKS A FEW LINES ARE TRACEABLE


UNHAPPY WOMEN ARE GIVEN TO PROTECTING THEIR SENSITIVENESS BY CYNICAL GOSSIP BY WHINING BY HIGH CHURCH AND NEW THOUGHT RELIGIONS OR BY A FOG OF VAGUENESS CAROL HAD HIDDEN IN NONE OF THESE REFUGES FROM REALITY


BUT SHE WHO WAS TENDER AND MERRY HAD BEEN MADE TIMOROUS BY GOPHER PRAIRIE EVEN HER FLIGHT HAD BEEN BUT THE TEMPORARY COURAGE OF PANIC THE THING SHE GAINED IN WASHINGTON WAS NOT INFORMATION ABOUT OFFICE SYSTEMS AND LABOR UNIONS BUT RENEWED COURAGE


THAT AMIABLE CONTEMPT CALLED POISE HER GLIMPSE OF TASKS INVOLVING MILLIONS OF PEOPLE AND A SCORE OF NATIONS REDUCED MAIN STREET FROM BLOATED IMPORTANCE TO ITS ACTUAL PETTINESS SHE COULD NEVER AGAIN BE QUITE SO AWED BY THE POWER


SHE CAUGHT SOMETHING OF AN IMPERSONAL ATTITUDE SAW THAT SHE HAD BEEN AS TOUCHILY PERSONAL AS MAUD DYER AND WHY SHE BEGAN TO ASK DID SHE RAGE AT INDIVIDUALS NOT INDIVIDUALS BUT INSTITUTIONS ARE THE ENEMIES


AND THEY MOST AFFLICT THE DISCIPLES WHO THE MOST GENEROUSLY SERVE THEM


INTRODUCTION THE HUMOROUS GHOST IS DISTINCTLY A MODERN CHARACTER IN EARLY LITERATURE WRAITHS TOOK THEMSELVES VERY SERIOUSLY


AND INSISTED ON A PROPER SHOW OF RESPECTFUL FEAR ON THE PART OF THOSE WHOM THEY HONORED BY HAUNTING A MORTAL WAS EXPECTED TO RISE WHEN A GHOST ENTERED THE ROOM AND IN CASE HE WAS SLOW ABOUT IT


HIS SPINE GAVE NOTICE OF WHAT ETIQUETTE DEMANDED IN THE EVENT OF OUTDOOR APPARITION IF A MAN FAILED TO BARE HIS HEAD IN AWE THE ROOTS OF HIS HAIR REMINDED HIM OF HIS REMISSNESS


IN THAT HER LOCKS BEING LONG AND PINNED UP ARE LESS EASILY MOVED WHICH MAY EXPLAIN THE FACT IF IT BE A FACT THAT IN FICTION WOMEN HAVE SHOWN THEMSELVES MORE SELF POSSESSED


WHILE THE FEMININE CAN BE SEEN THROUGH BY ANOTHER WOMAN AND THUS DISARMED THE MAJORITY OF THE COMIC APPARITIONS CURIOUSLY ENOUGH ARE MASCULINE YOU DON'T OFTEN FIND WOMEN WRAITHED IN SMILES


AND HAVE CHIVALROUSLY SPARED THE GENTLER SHADES AND THERE ARE VERY FEW FUNNY CHILD GHOSTS YOU MIGHT ALMOST SAY NONE IN COMPARISON WITH THE NUMBER OF GROWN UPS


THE NUMBER OF GHOST CHILDREN OF ANY OR ALL TYPES IS SMALL PROPORTIONATELY PERHAPS BECAUSE IT SEEMS AN UNNATURAL THING FOR A CHILD TO DIE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES


THERE ARE A FEW INSTANCES AS IN THE CASE OF THE GHOST BABY MENTIONED LATER BUT VERY FEW ANCIENT GHOSTS WERE A LONG FACED LOT


SINCE ANY LIVING PERSON HOWEVER SENILE WOULD BE THOUGHT JUVENILE COMPARED WITH A TIMELESS SPOOK BUT IN THESE DAYS OF INDIVIDUALISM AND RADICAL LIBERALISM SPOOKS AS WELL AS MORTALS ARE EXPANDING THEIR PERSONALITIES


AND INDULGING IN GREATER FREEDOM A GHOST CAN CALL HIS SHADE HIS OWN NOW AND EXHIBIT ANY MOOD HE PLEASES EVEN YOUNG FEMALE WRAITHS DEMANDING LATCHKEYS REFUSE TO OBEY THE FROWNING FACE OF THE CLOCK


TO MAKE THE GHOST OF MISSUS GRUNDY TURN A SHADE PALER IN HORROR NOWADAYS HAUNTERS HAVE MORE FUN AND FREEDOM THAN THE HAUNTED IN FACT IT'S MONEY IN ONE'S POCKET THESE DAYS TO BE DEAD FOR GHOSTS HAVE NO RENT PROBLEMS


MANIFESTLY DEATH HAS COMPENSATIONS NOT CONNECTED WITH THE CONSOLATIONS OF RELIGION THE MARVEL IS THAT APPARITIONS WERE SO LONG IN REALIZING THEIR POSSIBILITIES IN IMPROVING THEIR ADVANTAGES


THE SPECTERS IN CLASSIC AND MEDIEVAL LITERATURE WERE MALARIAL VAPOROUS BEINGS WITHOUT ENERGY TO DO ANYTHING BUT THREATEN


AT BEST A REVENANT COULD ONLY RATTLE A RUSTY SKELETON OR SHAKE A MOLDY SHROUD OR CLANK A CHAIN BUT AS MORTALS COWERED BEFORE HIS DEMONSTRATIONS HE DIDN'T WORRY


THE UP TO DATE GHOST KEEPS HIS SKELETON IN A GARAGE OR SOME PLACE WHERE IT IS CLEANED AND OILED AND KEPT IN GOOD WORKING ORDER THE MODERN WRAITH HAS SOLD HIS SHEET TO THE OLD CLO'ES MAN AND DRESSES AS IN LIFE


HE KNOWS THAT THERE'S NO WEAPON NO THREAT IN HORROR TO BE COMPARED WITH RIDICULE THINK WHAT A SOLEMN CREATURE THE GOTHIC GHOST WAS


HOW LITTLE ORIGINALITY AND INITIATIVE HE SHOWED AND HOW DEPENDENT HE WAS ON HIS OWN ATMOSPHERE FOR THRILLS HIS SOLE APPEAL WAS TO THE SPINAL COLUMN THE GHOST OF TO DAY TOUCHES THE FUNNY BONE AS WELL


MANY AMERICANS THERE ARE TO DAY WHO WOULD COURT BEING HAUNTED BY THE CAPTAIN AND CREW OF RICHARD MIDDLETON'S GHOST SHIP THAT LANDED IN A TURNIP FIELD AND DISPENSED DRINK TILL THEY DEMORALIZED THE DENIZENS OF VILLAGE AND GRAVEYARD ALIKE


AFTER THAT SHOW OF SPIRITS THE TURNIPS IN THAT FIELD TASTED OF RUM LONG AFTER THE GHOST SHIP HAD SAILED AWAY INTO THE BLUE THE MODERN SPOOK IS POSSESSED NOT ONLY OF HUMOR BUT OF A CAUSTIC SATIRE AS WELL


HIS JEST IS LIKELY TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE POINT TO IT AND HE CAN HAUNT SO INSIDIOUSLY CAN MAKE HIMSELF SO AT HOME IN HIS HOST'S STUDY OR BEDROOM THAT A MAN ACTUALLY WELCOMES A CHAT WITH HIM


A GHOST MOREOVER THAT TOWERED AND SWELLED AT EVERY HACKNEYED PHRASE TILL FINALLY HE FILLED THE ROOM AND BURST AFTER THE YOUNG MAN PROPOSED TO HIS ADMIRED ONE AND MADE SUBSEQUENT REMARKS


GHOSTS NOT ONLY HAVE APPALLINGLY LONG MEMORIES BUT THEY POSSESS A MEAN ADVANTAGE OVER THE LIVING IN THAT THEY HAVE ONCE BEEN MORTAL


THE MODERN HUMOROUS GHOST SATIRIZES EVERYTHING FROM THE OLD FASHIONED SPECTER HE'S VERY FOND OF TAKING POT SHOTS AT HIM TO THE LATEST PSYCHIC MANIFESTATIONS


HE LAUGHS AT GHOSTS THAT AREN'T EXPERTS IN EFFICIENCY HAUNTING AND HE HAS A LOT OF FUN OUT OF MORTALS FOR BEING SCARED OF SPECTERS HE LOVES TO SHAKE THE LUGUBRIOUS TERRORS OF THE PAST BEFORE YOU


AND USES THE OLD THRILLS ONLY TO SHOW WHAT DEAD BATTERIES THEY COME FROM HIS REALLY ELECTRICAL EFFECTS ARE HIS OWN INVENTIONS HE NEEDS NO DUNGEON KEEPS AND MONKISH CELLS TO PLAY ABOUT IN NOT HE


HE DEMANDS NO RAG NOR BONE NOR CLANK OF CHAIN OF HIS OLD EQUIPMENT TO START ON HIS CAREER HE CAN START UP A MOVING PICTURE SHOW OF HIS OWN AS IN RUTH MC ENERY STUART'S THE HAUNTED PHOTOGRAPH


AND DEMONSTRATE A NEW KIND OF APPARITION THE GHOST STORY OF TO DAY GIVES YOU SPINAL SENSATIONS WITH A DIFFERENCE AS IN THE IMMORTAL TRANSFERRED GHOST BY FRANK R STOCKTON


WHERE THE SUITOR ON THE MOONLIT PORCH ATTEMPTING TO TELL HIS FAIR ONE THAT HE DOTES ON HER SEES THE GHOST OF HER FEROCIOUS UNCLE WHO ISN'T DEAD


KICKING HIS HEELS AGAINST THE RAILING AND HEARS HIS ADMONITION THAT HE'D BETTER HURRY UP AS THE LIVE UNCLE IS COMING IN SIGHT


HAS NEVER BEEN A GHOST NOR USED A WOODEN LEG BUT A TERRIFYING LEG ACY WHILE YOU DO BELIEVE IN IT THE NEW GHOST HAS A MORE NIMBLE AND VERSATILE TONGUE AS WELL AS WIT


IN THE OLDER FICTION AND DRAMA APPARITIONS SPOKE SELDOM


AND GHOSTS LIKE KINGS IN DRAMA WERE OF A DIGNITY AND MUST PRESERVE IT IN THEIR SPEECH OR PERHAPS THE AUTHORS WERE DOUBTFUL AS TO THE DIALOGUE OF SHADES


AND COMPROMISED ON A FEW STATELY EJACULATIONS AS BEING SAFELY PHANTASMAL SPEAKING PARTS BUT COMPARE THAT USAGE WITH THE RUDE FREEDOM OF SOME MODERN SPOOKS


THINK OF HAVING ALWAYS AND ALWAYS TO SPEAK A DEAD LANGUAGE THE HUMOROUS GHOST IS NOT ONLY MODERN BUT HE IS DISTINCTIVELY AMERICAN THERE ARE GHOSTS OF ALL NATIONALITIES NATURALLY


BUT THE SPOOK THAT PROVIDES A JOKE ON HIS HOST OR ON HIMSELF IS YANKEE IN ORIGIN AND DEVELOPMENT THE DRY HUMOR THE COMIC SENSE OF THE INCONGRUOUS THE WILLINGNESS TO LAUGH AT HIMSELF AS AT OTHERS


AND ARE PRESERVED IN THEIR TRUE FLAVOR I DON'T ASSERT OF COURSE


THE FRENCH AND ENGLISH SELECTIONS IN THIS VOLUME ARE SUFFICIENT TO PROVE THE CONTRARY


THERE ARE VARIOUS ENGLISH STORIES OF WHIMSICAL HAUNTING SOME OF ACTUAL SPOOKS AND SOME OF THE HOAX TYPE HOAX GHOSTS ARE FAIRLY NUMEROUS IN BRITISH AS IN AMERICAN LITERATURE


OF THE EARLY SPECIMENS OF THE REALLY AMUSING GHOST THAT IS AN ACTUAL REVENANT IS THE GHOST BABY IN BLACKWOOD'S WHICH SHOWS ORIGINALITY AND HUMOR YET IS TOO DIFFUSE FOR PRINTING HERE


IN THAT WE HAVE A CONVENTIONAL YOUNG BACHELOR ENGAGED TO A CHARMING GIRL WHO IS ENTANGLED IN SOCIAL COMPLICATIONS AND MADE TO SUFFER MENTAL TORMENT BECAUSE WITHOUT HIS CONSENT


TILL THE PHANTOM COUPLE TAKE A LIKING TO EACH OTHER AND DECIDE TO LET THE LIVING BURY THEIR DEAD THIS IS SUGGESTIVE OF BRANDER MATTHEWS'S EARLIER AND CLEVERER STORY OF A SPECTRAL COURTSHIP IN THE RIVAL GHOSTS


MEDIEVAL AND LATER LITERATURE GAVE US MANY INSTANCES OF A LOVE AFFAIR OR MARRIAGE BETWEEN ONE SPIRIT AND ONE MORTAL


SHOW THE DIVERSITY OF THE ENGLISH HUMOR AS ASSOCIATED WITH APPARITIONS AND ARE ENTERTAINING IN THEMSELVES THE CANTERVILLE GHOST BY OSCAR WILDE IS ONE OF HIS BEST SHORT STORIES


THIS TRAVESTY ON THE CONVENTIONAL TRADITIONS OF THE WRAITH IS PREPOSTEROUSLY DELIGHTFUL ONE OF THE CLEVEREST GHOST STORIES IN OUR LANGUAGE ZANGWILL HAS WRITTEN ENGAGINGLY OF SPOOKS


FRANK R STOCKTON GAVE HIS TO FUNNY SPOOKS WITH A RIOTOUS AND LAUGHING PEN THE SPIRIT IN HIS TRANSFERRED GHOST IS IMPUDENTLY DEATHLESS AND HAS CALLED UP A TRAIN OF SUBSEQUENT HAUNTERS


JOHN KENDRICK BANGS HAS MADE THE DARKER REGIONS SEEM COMFORTABLE AND HOMELIKE FOR US AND HAS CREATED GHOSTS SO HUMAN AND SO FUNNY THAT WE LOOK FORWARD TO BEING ONE OR MORE


WE FEEL DOWNRIGHT NEIGHBORLY TOWARD SUCH SPECTERS AS THE FUTILE LAST GHOST NELSON LLOYD EVOKES FOR US AS WE APPRECIATE THE SATIRE OF ROSE O'NEILL'S SOPHISTICATED WRAITH


THE FIELD IS STILL COMPARATIVELY LIMITED BUT A NUMBER OF AMERICANS HAVE DONE DISTINCTIVE WORK IN IT THE SPECTER NOW WEARS MOTLEY INSTEAD OF A SHROUD


I'LL HAVE NONE O THEM NED KNOWLES THE BARON RITZNER VON JUNG WAS A NOBLE HUNGARIAN FAMILY EVERY MEMBER OF WHICH AT LEAST AS FAR BACK INTO ANTIQUITY AS ANY CERTAIN RECORDS EXTEND


WAS MORE OR LESS REMARKABLE FOR TALENT OF SOME DESCRIPTION THE MAJORITY FOR THAT SPECIES OF GROTESQUERIE IN CONCEPTION OF WHICH TIECK A SCION OF THE HOUSE HAS GIVEN A VIVID


THREW A PLACE IN HIS REGARD AND HERE WITH SOMEWHAT MORE DIFFICULTY A PARTIAL INSIGHT INTO HIS MENTAL CONFORMATION IN LATER DAYS THIS INSIGHT GREW MORE CLEAR


WHICH HIS ADVENT EXCITED WITHIN THE COLLEGE PRECINCTS ON THE NIGHT OF THE TWENTY FIFTH OF JUNE I REMEMBER STILL MORE DISTINCTLY THAT WHILE HE WAS PRONOUNCED BY ALL PARTIES AT FIRST SIGHT THE MOST REMARKABLE MAN IN THE WORLD


NO PERSON MADE ANY ATTEMPT AT ACCOUNTING FOR HIS OPINION THAT HE WAS UNIQUE APPEARED SO UNDENIABLE THAT IT WAS DEEMED IMPERTINENT TO INQUIRE WHEREIN THE UNIQUITY CONSISTED


BUT LETTING THIS MATTER PASS FOR THE PRESENT I WILL MERELY OBSERVE THAT FROM THE FIRST MOMENT OF HIS SETTING FOOT WITHIN THE LIMITS OF THE UNIVERSITY HE BEGAN TO EXERCISE OVER THE HABITS


MANNERS PERSONS PURSES AND PROPENSITIES OF THE WHOLE COMMUNITY WHICH SURROUNDED HIM AN INFLUENCE THE MOST EXTENSIVE AND DESPOTIC YET AT THE SAME TIME THE MOST INDEFINITE AND ALTOGETHER UNACCOUNTABLE


THAT VERY EXTRAORDINARY EPOCH FORMING THE DOMINATION OF THE BARON RITZNER VON JUNG THEN OF NO PARTICULAR AGE BY WHICH I MEAN THAT IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO FORM A GUESS RESPECTING HIS AGE BY ANY DATA PERSONALLY AFFORDED


HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN FIFTEEN OR FIFTY


HE WAS BY NO MEANS A HANDSOME MAN PERHAPS THE REVERSE THE CONTOUR OF HIS FACE WAS SOMEWHAT ANGULAR AND HARSH HIS FOREHEAD WAS LOFTY AND VERY FAIR HIS NOSE A SNUB


AFTER SUCH A FASHION THAT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO CONCEIVE ANY EVEN THE MOST COMPLEX COMBINATION OF HUMAN FEATURES CONVEYING SO ENTIRELY AND SO SINGLY THE IDEA OF UNMITIGATED GRAVITY


SOLEMNITY AND REPOSE IT WILL BE PERCEIVED NO DOUBT FROM WHAT I HAVE ALREADY SAID THAT THE BARON WAS ONE OF THOSE HUMAN ANOMALIES NOW AND THEN TO BE FOUND WHO MAKE THE SCIENCE OF MYSTIFICATION


THE STUDY AND THE BUSINESS OF THEIR LIVES FOR THIS SCIENCE A PECULIAR TURN OF MIND GAVE HIM INSTINCTIVELY THE CUE


I QUAINTLY TERMED THE DOMINATION OF THE BARON RITZNER VON JUNG EVER RIGHTLY ENTERED INTO THE MYSTERY WHICH OVERSHADOWED HIS CHARACTER I TRULY THINK THAT NO PERSON AT THE UNIVERSITY WITH THE EXCEPTION OF MYSELF


EVER SUSPECTED HIM TO BE CAPABLE OF A JOKE VERBAL OR PRACTICAL THE OLD BULL DOG AT THE GARDEN GATE WOULD SOONER HAVE BEEN ACCUSED THE GHOST OF HERACLITUS OR THE WIG OF THE EMERITUS PROFESSOR OF THEOLOGY


THIS TOO WHEN IT WAS EVIDENT THAT THE MOST EGREGIOUS AND UNPARDONABLE OF ALL CONCEIVABLE TRICKS WHIMSICALITIES AND BUFFOONERIES WERE BROUGHT ABOUT IF NOT DIRECTLY BY HIM


LAY IN THAT CONSUMMATE ABILITY RESULTING FROM AN ALMOST INTUITIVE KNOWLEDGE OF HUMAN NATURE AND A MOST WONDERFUL SELF POSSESSION


IN CONSEQUENCE OF THE LAUDABLE EFFORTS HE WAS MAKING FOR THEIR PREVENTION AND FOR THE PRESERVATION OF THE GOOD ORDER AND DIGNITY OF ALMA MATER


WHICH UPON EACH SUCH FAILURE OF HIS PRAISE WORTHY ENDEAVORS WOULD SUFFUSE EVERY LINEAMENT OF HIS COUNTENANCE LEFT NOT THE SLIGHTEST ROOM FOR DOUBT OF HIS SINCERITY IN THE BOSOMS OF EVEN HIS MOST SKEPTICAL COMPANIONS


THE ADROITNESS TOO WAS NO LESS WORTHY OF OBSERVATION BY WHICH HE CONTRIVED TO SHIFT THE SENSE OF THE GROTESQUE FROM THE CREATOR TO THE CREATED


FROM HIS OWN PERSON TO THE ABSURDITIES TO WHICH HE HAD GIVEN RISE IN NO INSTANCE BEFORE THAT OF WHICH I SPEAK HAVE I KNOWN THE HABITUAL MYSTIFIC ESCAPE


MY FRIEND APPEARED TO LIVE ONLY FOR THE SEVERITIES OF SOCIETY AND NOT EVEN HIS OWN HOUSEHOLD


WITH THE MEMORY OF THE BARON RITZNER VON JUNG


LAY LIKE AN INCUBUS UPON THE UNIVERSITY


DURING THE GREATER PART OF THE NIGHT HAD RUN WILD UPON THE ALL ENGROSSING TOPIC OF THE TIMES THE BARON WHO HAD BEEN UNUSUALLY SILENT AND ABSTRACTED IN THE EARLIER PORTION OF THE EVENING


AND DWELT UPON THE BENEFITS AND MORE ESPECIALLY UPON THE BEAUTIES OF THE RECEIVED CODE OF ETIQUETTE IN PASSAGES OF ARMS WITH AN ARDOR AN ELOQUENCE


AN IMPRESSIVENESS AND AN AFFECTIONATENESS OF MANNER WHICH ELICITED THE WARMEST ENTHUSIASM FROM HIS HEARERS IN GENERAL AND ABSOLUTELY STAGGERED EVEN MYSELF WHO WELL KNEW HIM TO BE AT HEART


A RIDICULER OF THOSE VERY POINTS FOR WHICH HE CONTENDED AND ESPECIALLY TO HOLD THE ENTIRE FANFARONADE OF DUELLING ETIQUETTE IN THE SOVEREIGN CONTEMPT WHICH IT DESERVES


LOOKING AROUND ME DURING A PAUSE IN THE BARON'S DISCOURSE OF WHICH MY READERS MAY GATHER SOME FAINT IDEA WHEN I SAY THAT IT BORE RESEMBLANCE TO THE FERVID CHANTING MONOTONOUS YET MUSICAL SERMONIC MANNER OF COLERIDGE


EXCEPT PERHAPS IN THE SINGLE PARTICULAR THAT HE WAS A VERY GREAT FOOL HE CONTRIVED TO BEAR HOWEVER AMONG A PARTICULAR SET AT THE UNIVERSITY A REPUTATION FOR DEEP METAPHYSICAL THINKING


AND I BELIEVE FOR SOME LOGICAL TALENT AS A DUELLIST HE HAD ACQUIRED WHO HAD FALLEN AT HIS HANDS BUT THEY WERE MANY HE WAS A MAN OF COURAGE UNDOUBTEDLY


BUT IT WAS UPON HIS MINUTE ACQUAINTANCE WITH THE ETIQUETTE OF THE DUELLO AND THE NICETY OF HIS SENSE OF HONOR THAT HE MOST ESPECIALLY PRIDED HIMSELF THESE THINGS WERE A HOBBY WHICH HE RODE TO THE DEATH TO RITZNER


EVER UPON THE LOOKOUT FOR THE GROTESQUE HIS PECULIARITIES HAD FOR A LONG TIME PAST AFFORDED FOOD FOR MYSTIFICATION OF THIS HOWEVER I WAS NOT AWARE


I PERCEIVED THE EXCITEMENT OF THE LATTER MOMENTLY INCREASING AT LENGTH HE SPOKE OFFERING SOME OBJECTION TO A POINT INSISTED UPON BY R AND GIVING HIS REASONS IN DETAIL


TO THESE THE BARON REPLIED AT LENGTH STILL MAINTAINING HIS EXAGGERATED TONE OF SENTIMENT AND CONCLUDING IN WHAT I THOUGHT VERY BAD TASTE WITH A SARCASM AND A SNEER


YOUR OPINIONS ALLOW ME TO SAY BARON VON JUNG ALTHOUGH IN THE MAIN CORRECT ARE IN MANY NICE POINTS DISCREDITABLE TO YOURSELF AND TO THE UNIVERSITY OF WHICH YOU ARE A MEMBER


I WOULD SAY SIR THAT YOUR OPINIONS ARE NOT THE OPINIONS TO BE EXPECTED FROM A GENTLEMAN AS HERMANN COMPLETED THIS EQUIVOCAL SENTENCE ALL EYES WERE TURNED UPON THE BARON


THEN EXCESSIVELY RED THEN DROPPING HIS POCKET HANDKERCHIEF STOOPED TO RECOVER IT WHEN I CAUGHT A GLIMPSE OF HIS COUNTENANCE WHILE IT COULD BE SEEN BY NO ONE ELSE AT THE TABLE


IT WAS RADIANT WITH THE QUIZZICAL EXPRESSION WHICH WAS ITS NATURAL CHARACTER BUT WHICH I HAD NEVER SEEN IT ASSUME EXCEPT WHEN WE WERE ALONE TOGETHER AND WHEN HE UNBENT HIMSELF FREELY IN AN INSTANT AFTERWARD HE STOOD ERECT


FOR A MOMENT I EVEN FANCIED THAT I HAD MISCONCEIVED HIM AND THAT HE WAS IN SOBER EARNEST HE APPEARED TO BE STIFLING WITH PASSION AND HIS FACE WAS CADAVEROUSLY WHITE


FOR A SHORT TIME HE REMAINED SILENT APPARENTLY STRIVING TO MASTER HIS EMOTION HAVING AT LENGTH SEEMINGLY SUCCEEDED HE REACHED A DECANTER WHICH STOOD NEAR HIM SAYING AS HE HELD IT FIRMLY CLENCHED


THE LANGUAGE YOU HAVE THOUGHT PROPER TO EMPLOY


IN ADDRESSING YOURSELF TO ME IS OBJECTIONABLE IN SO MANY PARTICULARS THAT I HAVE NEITHER TEMPER NOR TIME FOR SPECIFICATION THAT MY OPINIONS HOWEVER ARE NOT THE OPINIONS TO BE EXPECTED FROM A GENTLEMAN


IS AN OBSERVATION SO DIRECTLY OFFENSIVE AS TO ALLOW ME BUT ONE LINE OF CONDUCT


YOU WILL FORGIVE ME FOR THE MODERATE TAX I SHALL MAKE UPON YOUR IMAGINATION AND ENDEAVOR TO CONSIDER FOR AN INSTANT


THIS BEING DONE THERE WILL BE NO DIFFICULTY WHATEVER I SHALL DISCHARGE THIS DECANTER OF WINE AT YOUR IMAGE IN YONDER MIRROR AND THUS FULFIL ALL THE SPIRIT IF NOT THE EXACT LETTER OF RESENTMENT FOR YOUR INSULT


WHILE THE NECESSITY OF PHYSICAL VIOLENCE TO YOUR REAL PERSON WILL BE OBVIATED WITH THESE WORDS HE HURLED THE DECANTER FULL OF WINE AGAINST THE MIRROR WHICH HUNG DIRECTLY OPPOSITE HERMANN


STRIKING THE REFLECTION OF HIS PERSON WITH GREAT PRECISION AND OF COURSE SHATTERING THE GLASS INTO FRAGMENTS THE WHOLE COMPANY AT ONCE STARTED TO THEIR FEET AND WITH THE EXCEPTION OF MYSELF AND RITZNER TOOK THEIR DEPARTURE


AS HERMANN WENT OUT THE BARON WHISPERED ME THAT I SHOULD FOLLOW HIM AND MAKE AN OFFER OF MY SERVICES TO THIS I AGREED NOT KNOWING PRECISELY WHAT TO MAKE OF SO RIDICULOUS A PIECE OF BUSINESS


AND TAKING MY ARM LED ME TO HIS APARTMENT I COULD HARDLY FORBEAR LAUGHING IN HIS FACE WHILE HE PROCEEDED TO DISCUSS WITH THE PROFOUNDEST GRAVITY WHAT HE TERMED THE REFINEDLY PECULIAR CHARACTER


AFTER A TIRESOME HARANGUE IN HIS ORDINARY STYLE HE TOOK DOWN FROM HIS BOOK SHELVES A NUMBER OF MUSTY VOLUMES ON THE SUBJECT OF THE DUELLO AND ENTERTAINED ME FOR A LONG TIME


THE THEATRE OF HONOR BY FAVYN


BRANTOME'S MEMOIRS OF DUELS PUBLISHED AT COLOGNE SIXTEEN SIXTY SIX


WITH A FINE MARGIN AND BOUND BY DEROME


AND HAVING THE QUAINT TITLE DUELLI LEX SCRIPTA ET NON


FROM THIS HE READ ME ONE OF THE DROLLEST CHAPTERS IN THE WORLD


PER CONSTRUCTIONEM


ALTHOUGH NOT ONE SYLLABLE OF THE WHOLE MATTER COULD I UNDERSTAND FOR THE LIFE OF ME HAVING FINISHED THE CHAPTER HE CLOSED THE BOOK AND DEMANDED WHAT I THOUGHT NECESSARY TO BE DONE I REPLIED THAT I HAD ENTIRE CONFIDENCE IN HIS SUPERIOR DELICACY OF FEELING


WILL HAND YOU THIS NOTE I FIND IT INCUMBENT UPON ME TO REQUEST AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE AN EXPLANATION OF THIS EVENING'S OCCURRENCES AT YOUR CHAMBERS IN THE EVENT OF YOUR DECLINING THIS REQUEST


HAVING PERUSED THE CARTEL HE WROTE THE FOLLOWING REPLY WHICH I CARRIED TO HERMANN SIR THROUGH OUR COMMON FRIEND MISTER P I HAVE RECEIVED YOUR NOTE OF THIS EVENING


UPON DUE REFLECTION I FRANKLY ADMIT THE PROPRIETY OF THE EXPLANATION YOU SUGGEST THIS BEING ADMITTED I STILL FIND GREAT DIFFICULTY OWING TO THE REFINEDLY PECULIAR NATURE OF OUR DISAGREEMENT


I HAVE GREAT RELIANCE HOWEVER ON THAT EXTREME DELICACY OF DISCRIMINATION IN MATTERS APPERTAINING TO THE RULES OF ETIQUETTE


THE NICETY OF YOUR DISCERNMENT IN ALL THE MATTERS HERE TREATED WILL BE SUFFICIENT I AM ASSURED


TO CONVINCE YOU THAT THE MERE CIRCUMSTANCE OF ME REFERRING YOU TO THIS ADMIRABLE PASSAGE OUGHT TO SATISFY YOUR REQUEST AS A MAN OF HONOR FOR EXPLANATION WITH SENTIMENTS OF PROFOUND RESPECT YOUR MOST OBEDIENT SERVANT VON JUNG


HERMANN COMMENCED THE PERUSAL OF THIS EPISTLE WITH A SCOWL WHICH HOWEVER WAS CONVERTED INTO A SMILE OF THE MOST LUDICROUS SELF COMPLACENCY


ET PER SE HAVING FINISHED READING HE BEGGED ME WITH THE BLANDEST OF ALL POSSIBLE SMILES TO BE SEATED WHILE HE MADE REFERENCE TO THE TREATISE IN QUESTION TURNING TO THE PASSAGE SPECIFIED HE READ IT WITH GREAT CARE TO HIMSELF


TO ASSURE HIM THAT THE EXPLANATION OFFERED WAS OF THE FULLEST THE MOST HONORABLE AND THE MOST UNEQUIVOCALLY SATISFACTORY NATURE SOMEWHAT AMAZED AT ALL THIS I MADE MY RETREAT TO THE BARON


HE SEEMED TO RECEIVE HERMANN'S AMICABLE LETTER AS A MATTER OF COURSE AND AFTER A FEW WORDS OF GENERAL CONVERSATION WENT TO AN INNER ROOM AND BROUGHT OUT THE EVERLASTING TREATISE DUELLI LEX SCRIPTA ET NON


HE HANDED ME THE VOLUME AND ASKED ME TO LOOK OVER SOME PORTION OF IT I DID SO BUT TO LITTLE PURPOSE NOT BEING ABLE TO GATHER THE LEAST PARTICLE OF MEANING HE THEN TOOK THE BOOK HIMSELF AND READ ME A CHAPTER ALOUD TO MY SURPRISE


HE NOW EXPLAINED THE MYSTERY


AND EVEN OF PROFUNDITY WHILE IN FACT NOT A SHADOW OF MEANING EXISTED THE KEY TO THE WHOLE WAS FOUND IN LEAVING OUT EVERY SECOND AND THIRD WORD ALTERNATELY


WHEN THERE APPEARED A SERIES OF LUDICROUS QUIZZES UPON A SINGLE COMBAT AS PRACTISED IN MODERN TIMES THE BARON AFTERWARDS INFORMED ME THAT HE HAD PURPOSELY THROWN THE TREATISE IN HERMANN'S WAY


TWO OR THREE WEEKS BEFORE THE ADVENTURE AND THAT HE WAS SATISFIED FROM THE GENERAL TENOR OF HIS CONVERSATION


AND FIRMLY BELIEVED IT TO BE A WORK OF UNUSUAL MERIT UPON THIS HINT HE PROCEEDED