WHICH CONTINENTAL NATIONS KNEW IN THE PAST BUT THERE IS THIS GREAT DIFFERENCE THAT THE OFFICIAL PRESS OF CONTINENTAL EXPERIMENTS NEVER CONSISTED IN MORE THAN A FEW CHOSEN ORGANS


THE CHARACTER OF WHICH WAS WELL KNOWN AND THE ATTITUDE OF WHICH CONTRASTED SHARPLY WITH THE REST BUT OUR OFFICIAL PRESS FOR IT IS NO LESS COVERS THE WHOLE FIELD IT HAS IN THE REGION OF THE GREAT NEWSPAPERS NO COMPETITOR INDEED IT HAS NO COMPETITORS AT ALL


IF ANY ONE DOUBTS THAT THIS ADJECTIVE OFFICIAL CAN PROPERLY BE APPLIED TO OUR CAPITALIST PRESS TO DAY LET HIM ASK HIMSELF FIRST WHAT THE FORCES ARE WHICH GOVERN THE NATION AND NEXT WHETHER THOSE FORCES THAT GOVERNMENT OR REGIME


COULD BE BETTER SERVED EVEN UNDER A SYSTEM OF PERMANENT CENSORSHIP THAN IT IS IN THE GREAT DAILIES OF LONDON AND THE PRINCIPAL PROVINCIAL CAPITALS IS NOT EVERYTHING WHICH THE REGIME DESIRES TO BE SUPPRESSED SUPPRESSED IS NOT EVERYTHING WHICH IT DESIRES SUGGESTED SUGGESTED


AND IS THERE ANY PUBLIC QUESTION WHICH WOULD WEAKEN THE REGIME AND THE DISCUSSION OF WHICH IS EVER ALLOWED TO APPEAR IN THE GREAT CAPITALIST JOURNALS THERE HAS NOT BEEN SUCH A CASE FOR AT LEAST TWENTY YEARS


NEVER DEALS WITH MATTERS VITAL TO ITS PRESTIGE ON THE CONTRARY IT DELIBERATELY SIDE TRACKS ANY VITAL DISCUSSION THAT SINCERE CONVICTION MAY HAVE FORCED UPON THE PUBLIC AND SPOILS THE SCENT WITH FALSE ISSUES


ONE PAPER NOT A LITTLE WHILE AGO WAS CLAMOURING AGAINST THE EXCESS OF LAWYERS IN GOVERNMENT ITS REMEDY WAS AN OPPOSITION TO BE HEADED BY A LAWYER ANOTHER WAS VERY SERIOUS UPON SECRET TRADING WITH THE ENEMY


IT SUPPRESSED FOR MONTHS ALL REFERENCE TO THE ASTOUNDING INSTANCE OF THAT MISDEMEANOUR BY THE CONNECTIONS OF A VERY PROMINENT PROFESSIONAL POLITICIAN EARLY IN THE WAR AND REFUSED TO COMMENT ON THE SINGLE REFERENCE MADE TO THIS CRIME IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS


ANOTHER CLAMOURS FOR THE ELIMINATION OF ENEMY FINANCIAL POWER IN THE AFFAIRS OF THIS COUNTRY AND YET SAYS NOT A WORD UPON THE AUDITING OF THE SECRET PARTY FUNDS


I SAY THAT THE BIG DAILY PAPERS HAVE NOW NOT ONLY THOSE OTHER QUALITIES DANGEROUS TO THE STATE WHICH I HAVE DESCRIBED BUT THAT THEY HAVE BECOME ESSENTIALLY OFFICIAL THAT IS INSINCERE AND CORRUPT IN THEIR INTERESTED SUPPORT OF THAT PLUTOCRATIC COMPLEX WHICH IN THE DECAY OF ARISTOCRACY GOVERNS ENGLAND


THEY ARE NOT INDEPENDENT WHERE POWER IS CONCERNED THEY DO NOT REALLY CRITICIZE THEY SERVE A CLIQUE WHOM THEY SHOULD EXPOSE AND DENOUNCE AND BETRAY THE GENERALITY THAT IS THE STATE FOR WHOSE SAKE THE SALARIED PUBLIC SERVANTS SHOULD BE PERPETUALLY WATCHED WITH SUSPICION AND SHARPLY KEPT IN CONTROL


THE RESULT IS THAT THE MASS OF ENGLISHMEN HAVE CEASED TO OBTAIN OR EVEN TO EXPECT INFORMATION UPON THE WAY THEY ARE GOVERNED THEY ARE BEGINNING TO FEEL A CERTAIN UNEASINESS THEY KNOW THAT THEIR OLD POWER OF OBSERVATION OVER PUBLIC SERVANTS HAS SLIPPED FROM THEM


THEY SUSPECT THAT THE KNOWN GROSS CORRUPTION OF PUBLIC LIFE AND PARTICULARLY OF THE HOUSE OF COMMONS IS ENTRENCHED BEHIND A CONSPIRACY OF SILENCE ON THE PART OF THOSE VERY FEW WHO HAVE THE POWER TO INFORM THEM BUT AS YET THEY HAVE NOT PASSED THE STAGE OF SUCH SUSPICION


THEY HAVE NOT ADVANCED NEARLY AS FAR AS THE DISCOVERY OF THE GREAT NEWSPAPER OWNERS AND THEIR SYSTEM THEY ARE STILL FOR THE MOST PART DUPED


IS A VERY GREAT EVIL IT WARPS AND DEPLETES PUBLIC INFORMATION IT PREVENTS THE JUST CRITICISM OF PUBLIC SERVANTS ABOVE ALL IT GIVES IMMENSE AND IRRESPONSIBLE POWER TO A HANDFUL OF WEALTHY MEN


AND ESPECIALLY TO THE ONE MOST WEALTHY AND UNSCRUPULOUS AMONG THEM WHOSE WEALTH IS AN ACCIDENT OF SPECULATION WHOSE ORIGINS ARE REPULSIVE AND WHOSE CHARACTERS HAVE AS A RULE THE WEAKNESS AND BASENESS DEVELOPED BY THIS SORT OF ADVENTURES


THERE ARE AMONG SUCH GUTTER SNIPES THOUSANDS WHOSE LUCK ENDS IN THE NATIVE GUTTER HALF A DOZEN WHOSE LUCK LANDS THEM INTO MILLIONS ONE OR TWO AT MOST WHO ON THE TOP OF SUCH A CAREER GO CRAZY WITH THE AMBITION OF THE PARVENU AND PROPOSE TO DIRECT THE STATE


EVEN WHEN GAMBLING ADVENTURERS OF THIS SORT ARE KNOWN AND RESPONSIBLE AS THEY ARE IN PROFESSIONAL POLITICS THEIR POWER IS A GRAVE DANGER POSSESSING AS THE NEWSPAPER OWNERS DO EVERY POWER OF CONCEALMENT AND AT THE SAME TIME


NO SHRED OF RESPONSIBILITY TO ANY ORGAN OF THE STATE THEY ARE A DEADLY PERIL THE CHIEF OF THESE MEN ARE MORE POWERFUL TO DAY THAN ANY MINISTER NAY THEY DO AS I HAVE SAID AND IT IS NOW NOTORIOUS MAKE AND UNMAKE MINISTERS AND THEY MAY YET IN OUR WORST HOUR DECIDE THE NATIONAL FATE


NOW TO EVERY HUMAN EVIL OF A POLITICAL SORT THAT HAS APPEARED IN HISTORY TO EVERY EVIL THAT IS AFFECTING THE STATE AND PROCEEDING FROM THE WILL OF MAN NOT FROM UNGOVERNABLE NATURAL FORCES OUTSIDE MAN THERE COMES A TERM AND A REACTION


SIDE BY SIDE WITH WHAT I HAVE CALLED THE OFFICIAL PRESS IN OUR TOP HEAVY PLUTOCRACY THERE HAS ARISEN A CERTAIN FORCE FOR WHICH I HAVE A DIFFICULTY IN FINDING A NAME BUT WHICH I WILL CALL FOR LACK OF A BETTER NAME THE FREE PRESS I MIGHT CALL IT THE INDEPENDENT PRESS


WERE IT NOT THAT SUCH A WORD WOULD CONNOTE AS YET A LITTLE TOO MUCH POWER THOUGH I DO BELIEVE ITS POWER TO BE RISING AND THOUGH I AM CONFIDENT THAT IT WILL IN THE NEAR FUTURE CHANGE OUR AFFAIRS


I AM NOT ACQUAINTED WITH ANY OTHER MODERN LANGUAGE THAN FRENCH AND ENGLISH BUT I READ THIS FREE PRESS FRENCH AND ENGLISH COLONIAL AND AMERICAN REGULARLY AND IT SEEMS TO ME THE CHIEF INTELLECTUAL PHENOMENON OF OUR TIME


IN FRANCE AND IN ENGLAND AND FOR ALL I KNOW ELSEWHERE THERE HAS ARISEN IN PROTEST AGAINST THE COMPLETE CORRUPTION AND FALSEHOOD OF THE GREAT CAPITALIST PAPERS A CROP OF NEW ORGANS WHICH ARE IN THE STRICTEST SENSE OF THE WORD ORGANS OF OPINION


THE NEW AGE WAS I THINK THE PIONEER IN THE MATTER


SCOTLAND ONE OR TWO THEIR NUMBER WILL INCREASE WITH THIS I PASS FROM THE JUST DENUNCIATION OF EVIL TO THE EXPOSITION OF WHAT IS GOOD


THE STIRRING OF THE POWERS REBECCA'S VISIT TO MILLTOWN WAS ALL THAT HER GLOWING FANCY HAD PAINTED IT EXCEPT THAT RECENT READINGS ABOUT ROME AND VENICE DISPOSED HER TO BELIEVE THAT THOSE CITIES MIGHT HAVE AN ADVANTAGE OVER MILLTOWN


IN THE MATTER OF MERE PICTORIAL BEAUTY SO SOON DOES THE SOUL OUTGROW ITS MANSIONS THAT AFTER ONCE SEEING MILLTOWN HER FANCY RAN OUT TO THE FUTURE SIGHT OF PORTLAND FOR THAT HAVING ISLANDS AND A HARBOR AND TWO PUBLIC MONUMENTS


MUST BE FAR MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN MILLTOWN WHICH WOULD SHE FELT TAKE ITS PROUD PLACE AMONG THE CITIES OF THE EARTH BY REASON OF ITS TREMENDOUS BUSINESS ACTIVITY RATHER THAN BY ANY IRRESISTIBLE APPEAL TO THE IMAGINATION


I TELL YOU HARRIET BEECHER STOWE HERSELF COULDN'T A DONE IT BETTER JUSTICE I TOOK IT ALL IN RESPONDED MISTER COBB WHO WAS PLEASED THAT MOTHER AGREED WITH HIM ABOUT REBECCA I AIN'T SURE BUT SHE'S GOIN TO TURN OUT SOMETHIN REMARKABLE


LAND NO MOTHER THERE AIN'T NO HOME'PATH BOUT MISS PARKS SHE DRIVES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY I CAN'T SEE REBECCA AS A LADY DOCTOR SOMEHOW MUSED MISSUS COBB HER GIFT O GAB IS WHAT'S GOIN TO BE THE MAKIN OF HER


OR RECITE PIECES LIKE THAT PORTLAND ELOCUTIONIST THAT COME OUT HERE TO THE HARVEST SUPPER I GUESS SHE'LL BE ABLE TO WRITE DOWN HER OWN PIECES SAID MISTER COBB CONFIDENTLY SHE COULD MAKE EM UP FASTER N SHE COULD READ EM OUT OF A BOOK


REBECCA MADE A POOR HAND AT COMPOSITION WRITING AT THIS TIME MISS DEARBORN GAVE HER EVERY SORT OF SUBJECT THAT SHE HAD EVER BEEN GIVEN HERSELF CLOUD PICTURES ABRAHAM LINCOLN NATURE PHILANTHROPY SLAVERY INTEMPERANCE JOY AND DUTY


SOLITUDE BUT WITH NONE OF THEM DID REBECCA SEEM TO GRAPPLE SATISFACTORILY WRITE AS YOU TALK REBECCA INSISTED POOR MISS DEARBORN WHO SECRETLY KNEW THAT SHE COULD NEVER MANAGE A GOOD COMPOSITION HERSELF


NOW IN YOUR LAST ONE ON SOLITUDE YOU HAVEN'T SAID ANYTHING VERY INTERESTING AND YOU'VE MADE IT TOO COMMON AND EVERY DAY TO SOUND WELL THERE ARE TOO MANY YOUS AND YOURS IN IT YOU OUGHT TO SAY ONE NOW AND THEN TO MAKE IT SEEM MORE LIKE GOOD WRITING ONE OPENS A FAVORITE BOOK


ONE'S THOUGHTS ARE A GREAT COMFORT IN SOLITUDE AND SO ON I DON'T KNOW ANY MORE ABOUT SOLITUDE THIS WEEK THAN I DID ABOUT JOY AND DUTY LAST WEEK GRUMBLED REBECCA YOU TRIED TO BE FUNNY ABOUT JOY AND DUTY SAID MISS DEARBORN REPROVINGLY SO OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T SUCCEED


OF RECOLLECTION JOY AND DUTY HAD BEEN THE INSPIRING SUBJECT GIVEN TO THE OLDER CHILDREN FOR A THEME TO BE WRITTEN IN FIVE MINUTES REBECCA HAD WRESTLED STRUGGLED PERSPIRED IN VAIN WHEN HER TURN CAME TO READ


SHE WAS OBLIGED TO CONFESS SHE HAD WRITTEN NOTHING YOU HAVE AT LEAST TWO LINES REBECCA INSISTED THE TEACHER FOR I SEE THEM ON YOUR SLATE


READ WHAT YOU HAVE GOOD OR BAD LITTLE OR MUCH I AM EXCUSING NOBODY REBECCA ROSE OVERCOME WITH SECRET LAUGHTER DREAD AND MORTIFICATION THEN IN A LOW VOICE SHE READ THE COUPLET


AND THE TRAINING OF THE YOUNG IDEA SELDOM APPEALED TO THE SENSE OF HUMOR YOU MUST STAY AFTER SCHOOL AND TRY AGAIN REBECCA SHE SAID BUT SHE SAID IT SMILINGLY YOUR POETRY HASN'T A VERY NICE IDEA IN IT FOR A GOOD LITTLE GIRL WHO OUGHT TO LOVE DUTY


IT WASN'T MY IDEA SAID REBECCA APOLOGETICALLY I HAD ONLY MADE THE FIRST LINE WHEN I SAW YOU WERE GOING TO RING THE BELL AND SAY THE TIME WAS UP I HAD CLASH WRITTEN AND I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING THEN BUT HASH OR RASH OR SMASH I'LL CHANGE IT TO THIS


HAVING BEEN INSTRUCTED IN THE USE OF THE INDEFINITE PRONOUN ONE AS GIVING A REFINED AND ELEGANT TOUCH TO LITERARY EFFORTS REBECCA PAINSTAKINGLY REWROTE HER COMPOSITION ON SOLITUDE GIVING IT ALL THE BENEFIT OF MISS DEARBORN'S SUGGESTION


IT THEN APPEARED IN THE FOLLOWING FORM WHICH HARDLY SATISFIED EITHER TEACHER OR PUPIL SOLITUDE IT WOULD BE FALSE TO SAY THAT ONE COULD EVER BE ALONE WHEN ONE HAS ONE'S LOVELY THOUGHTS TO COMFORT ONE


ONE SITS BY ONE'S SELF IT IS TRUE BUT ONE THINKS ONE OPENS ONE'S FAVORITE BOOK AND READS ONE'S FAVORITE STORY ONE SPEAKS TO ONE'S AUNT OR ONE'S BROTHER FONDLES ONE'S CAT


DOES ONE EVER FEEL BEREFT WHEN ONE PICKS UP ONE'S CHIPS TO LIGHT ONE'S FIRE FOR ONE'S EVENING MEAL OR WHEN ONE WASHES ONE'S MILK PAIL BEFORE MILKING ONE'S COW ONE WOULD FANCY NOT R R R


DON'T YOU THINK CALLING SUPPER ONE'S EVENING MEAL IS PRETTY AND ISN'T BEREFT A NICE WORD YES THAT PART OF IT DOES VERY WELL IT IS THE CAT THE CHIPS AND THE MILK PAIL THAT I DON'T LIKE


YES I DON'T LIKE A COW IN A COMPOSITION SAID THE DIFFICULT MISS DEARBORN


FOR THE NEXT WEEK MINNIE SMELLIE'S MOTHER TOLD MIRANDA SAWYER THAT SHE'D BETTER LOOK AFTER REBECCA FOR SHE WAS GIVEN TO SWEARING AND PROFANE LANGUAGE THAT SHE HAD BEEN HEARD SAYING SOMETHING DREADFUL THAT VERY AFTERNOON SAYING IT BEFORE EMMA JANE AND LIVING PERKINS WHO ONLY LAUGHED


DON'T BE UGLY AND OBSTINATE BUT THINK REAL HARD WHEN DID THEY CHASE YOU UP THE ROAD AND WHAT WERE YOU DOING A SUDDEN LIGHT BROKE UPON REBECCA'S DARKNESS


EMMA JANE LIVING AND I WERE WALKING ALONG AND I WAS AHEAD I SAW THE WATER STREAMING OVER THE ROAD TOWARDS THE DITCH AND IT REMINDED ME OF UNCLE TOM'S CABIN AT MILLTOWN WHEN ELIZA TOOK HER BABY AND RAN ACROSS THE MISSISSIPPI ON THE ICE BLOCKS PURSUED BY THE BLOODHOUNDS


WE COULDN'T KEEP FROM LAUGHING AFTER WE CAME OUT OF THE TENT BECAUSE THEY WERE ACTING ON SUCH A SMALL PLATFORM THAT ELIZA HAD TO RUN ROUND AND ROUND


AND PART OF THE TIME SHE HAD TO PURSUE THE DOG I KNEW LIVING WOULD REMEMBER TOO SO I TOOK OFF MY WATERPROOF AND WRAPPED IT ROUND MY BOOKS FOR A BABY


JUST LIKE THAT THE SAME AS ELIZA DID IN THE PLAY THEN I LEAPED FROM PUDDLE TO PUDDLE AND LIVING AND EMMA JANE PURSUED ME LIKE THE BLOODHOUNDS IT'S JUST LIKE THAT STUPID MINNIE SMELLIE WHO DOESN'T KNOW A GAME WHEN SHE SEES ONE AND ELIZA WASN'T SWEARING WHEN SHE SAID MY GOD THE RIVER


IT WAS MORE LIKE PRAYING WELL YOU'VE GOT NO CALL TO BE PRAYIN ANY MORE THAN SWEARIN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD SAID MIRANDA BUT I'M THANKFUL IT'S NO WORSE YOU'RE BORN TO TROUBLE AS THE SPARKS FLY UPWARD


AN I'M AFRAID YOU ALLERS WILL BE TILL YOU LEARN TO BRIDLE YOUR UNRULY TONGUE I WISH SOMETIMES THAT I COULD BRIDLE MINNIE'S MURMURED REBECCA AS SHE WENT TO SET THE TABLE FOR SUPPER I DECLARE SHE IS THE BEATIN'EST CHILD SAID MIRANDA


BUT WHETHER IT'S FOR THE BETTER OR THE WORSE I CAN'T HARDLY TELL TILL SHE GROWS UP SHE'S GOT THE MAKING OF MOST ANYTHING IN HER REBECCA HAS BUT I FEEL SOMETIMES AS IF WE WERE NOT FITTED TO COPE WITH HER STUFF AN NONSENSE SAID MIRANDA


THE BANQUET LAMP THERE HAD BEEN COMPANY AT THE BRICK HOUSE TO THE BOUNTIFUL THANKSGIVING DINNER WHICH HAD BEEN PROVIDED AT ONE O'CLOCK THE BURNHAM SISTERS WHO LIVED BETWEEN NORTH RIVERBORO AND SHAKER VILLAGE AND WHO FOR MORE THAN A QUARTER OF A CENTURY


HAD COME TO PASS THE HOLIDAY WITH THE SAWYERS EVERY YEAR REBECCA SAT SILENT WITH A BOOK AFTER THE DINNER DISHES WERE WASHED AND WHEN IT WAS NEARLY FIVE ASKED IF SHE MIGHT GO TO THE SIMPSONS


CAN'T YOU SET STILL FOR ONCE AND LISTEN TO THE IMPROVIN CONVERSATION OF YOUR ELDERS


WHAT UNDER THE CANOPY DID THEY WANT OF A LAMP AND WHERE DID THEY GET THE MONEY TO PAY FOR IT IF ABNER WAS AT HOME I SHOULD THINK HE'D BEEN SWAPPIN AGAIN SAID MISS MIRANDA THE CHILDREN GOT IT AS A PRIZE FOR SELLING SOAP REPLIED REBECCA


WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN THE POCKET OF THAT NEW DRESS THAT MAKES IT SAG DOWN SO IT'S MY NUTS AND RAISINS FROM DINNER REPLIED REBECCA WHO NEVER SUCCEEDED IN KEEPING THE MOST INNOCENT ACTION A SECRET FROM HER AUNT MIRANDA THEY'RE JUST WHAT YOU GAVE ME ON MY PLATE WHY DIDN'T YOU EAT THEM


THEY WERE YOUR OWN REBECCA INTERPOSED AUNT JANE AND IF YOU CHOSE TO SAVE THEM TO GIVE AWAY IT IS ALL RIGHT WE OUGHT NEVER TO LET THIS DAY PASS WITHOUT GIVING OUR NEIGHBORS SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR INSTEAD OF TAKING ALL THE TIME TO THINK OF OUR OWN MERCIES


THE BURNHAM SISTERS NODDED APPROVINGLY AS REBECCA WENT OUT AND REMARKED THAT THEY HAD NEVER SEEN A CHILD GROW AND IMPROVE SO FAST IN SO SHORT A TIME THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM LEFT FOR MORE IMPROVEMENT AS YOU'D KNOW IF SHE LIVED IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH YOU ANSWERED MIRANDA


ONE OF THEM MUST HAVE SAID MISS ELLEN BURNHAM


IT MUST HAVE BEEN CLARA BELLE AND I SHOULD NEVER CALL HER REMARKABLE ANSWERED MISS MIRANDA HAS ADAM BEEN HOME AGAIN YES HE'S BEEN STAYING A FEW DAYS WITH HIS AUNT THERE'S NO LIMIT TO THE MONEY HE'S MAKING THEY SAY AND HE ALWAYS BRINGS PRESENTS FOR ALL THE NEIGHBORS


THIS TIME IT WAS A FULL SET OF FURS FOR MISSUS LADD AND TO THINK WE CAN REMEMBER THE TIME HE WAS A BAREFOOT BOY WITHOUT TWO SHIRTS TO HIS BACK IT IS STRANGE HE HASN'T MARRIED WITH ALL HIS MONEY AND HIM SO FOND OF CHILDREN THAT HE ALWAYS HAS A PACK OF THEM AT HIS HEELS


THERE'S HOPE FOR HIM STILL THOUGH SAID MISS JANE SMILINGLY FOR I DON'T S'POSE HE'S MORE THAN THIRTY HE COULD GET A WIFE IN RIVERBORO IF HE WAS A HUNDRED AND THIRTY REMARKED MISS MIRANDA ADAM'S AUNT SAYS HE WAS SO TAKEN WITH THE LITTLE GIRL THAT SOLD THE SOAP CLARA BELLE DID YOU SAY HER NAME WAS


THAT HE DECLARED HE WAS GOING TO BRING HER A CHRISTMAS PRESENT CONTINUED MISS ELLEN WELL THERE'S NO ACCOUNTIN FOR TASTES EXCLAIMED MISS MIRANDA CLARA BELLE'S GOT CROSS EYES AND RED HAIR BUT I'D BE THE LAST ONE TO GRUDGE HER A CHRISTMAS PRESENT


FOR THIS ONE COULDN'T HAVE BEEN CROSS EYED I REMEMBER MISSUS LADD SAYING ADAM REMARKED ABOUT THIS CHILD'S HANDSOME EYES HE SAID IT WAS HER EYES THAT MADE HIM BUY THE THREE HUNDRED CAKES MISSUS LADD HAS IT STACKED UP IN THE SHED CHAMBER


THREE HUNDRED CAKES EJACULATED MIRANDA WELL THERE'S ONE CROP THAT NEVER FAILS IN RIVERBORO WHAT'S THAT ASKED MISS LYDIA POLITELY THE FOOL CROP RESPONDED MIRANDA TERSELY


AND CHANGED THE SUBJECT MUCH TO JANE'S GRATITUDE FOR SHE HAD BEEN NERVOUS AND ILL AT EASE FOR THE LAST FIFTEEN MINUTES WHAT CHILD IN RIVERBORO COULD BE DESCRIBED AS REMARKABLE AND WINNING SAVE REBECCA WHAT CHILD HAD WONDERFUL EYES EXCEPT THE SAME REBECCA


AND FINALLY WAS THERE EVER A CHILD IN THE WORLD WHO COULD MAKE A MAN BUY SOAP BY THE HUNDRED CAKES SAVE REBECCA MEANTIME THE REMARKABLE CHILD HAD FLOWN UP THE ROAD IN THE DEEPENING DUSK BUT SHE HAD NOT GONE FAR BEFORE SHE HEARD THE SOUND OF HURRYING FOOTSTEPS


AND SAW A WELL KNOWN FIGURE COMING IN HER DIRECTION IN A MOMENT SHE AND EMMA JANE MET AND EXCHANGED A BREATHLESS EMBRACE SOMETHING AWFUL HAS HAPPENED PANTED EMMA JANE DON'T TELL ME IT'S BROKEN EXCLAIMED REBECCA NO OH NO NOT THAT


OUR SELLING THE THREE HUNDRED CAKES CORRECTED REBECCA YOU DID AS MUCH AS I NO I DIDN'T REBECCA RANDALL I JUST SAT AT THE GATE AND HELD THE HORSE YES BUT WHOSE HORSE WAS IT THAT TOOK US TO NORTH RIVERBORO


BUT WHAT'S THE TROUBLE THE SIMPSONS HAVE NO KEROSENE AND NO WICKS I GUESS THEY THOUGHT A BANQUET LAMP WAS SOMETHING THAT LIGHTED ITSELF AND BURNED WITHOUT ANY HELP SEESAW HAS GONE TO THE DOCTOR'S TO TRY IF HE CAN BORROW A WICK AND MOTHER LET ME HAVE A PINT OF OIL BUT SHE SAYS SHE WON'T GIVE ME ANY MORE


WE NEVER THOUGHT OF THE EXPENSE OF KEEPING UP THE LAMP REBECCA NO WE DIDN'T BUT LET'S NOT WORRY ABOUT THAT TILL AFTER THE PARTY I HAVE A HANDFUL OF NUTS AND RAISINS AND SOME APPLES I HAVE PEPPERMINTS AND MAPLE SUGAR SAID EMMA JANE THEY HAD A REAL THANKSGIVING DINNER


THE DOCTOR GAVE THEM SWEET POTATOES AND CRANBERRIES AND TURNIPS FATHER SENT A SPARE RIB AND MISSUS COBB A CHICKEN AND A JAR OF MINCE MEAT AT HALF PAST FIVE ONE MIGHT HAVE LOOKED IN AT THE SIMPSONS WINDOWS AND SEEN THE PARTY AT ITS HEIGHT


MISSUS SIMPSON HAD LET THE KITCHEN FIRE DIE OUT AND HAD BROUGHT THE BABY TO GRACE THE FESTAL SCENE


ON IT STOOD THE SACRED THE ADORED THE LONG DESIRED OBJECT ALMOST AS BEAUTIFUL AND NEARLY HALF AS LARGE AS THE ADVERTISEMENT THE BRASS GLISTENED LIKE GOLD AND THE CRIMSON PAPER SHADE GLOWED LIKE A GIANT RUBY


IN THE WIDE SPLASH OF LIGHT THAT IT FLUNG UPON THE FLOOR SAT THE SIMPSONS IN REVERENT AND SOLEMN SILENCE EMMA JANE STANDING BEHIND THEM HAND IN HAND WITH REBECCA THERE SEEMED TO BE NO DESIRE FOR CONVERSATION THE OCCASION WAS TOO THRILLING AND SERIOUS FOR THAT


THE LAMP IT WAS TACITLY FELT BY EVERYBODY WAS DIGNIFYING THE PARTY AND PROVIDING SUFFICIENT ENTERTAINMENT SIMPLY BY ITS PRESENCE BEING FULLY AS SATISFACTORY IN ITS WAY AS A PIANOLA OR A STRING BAND I WISH FATHER COULD SEE IT SAID CLARA BELLE LOYALLY


MURMURED SUSAN SAGACIOUSLY AT THE APPOINTED HOUR REBECCA DRAGGED HERSELF RELUCTANTLY AWAY FROM THE ENCHANTING SCENE


AND OH I'M SO GLAD YOU BOTH LIVE WHERE YOU CAN SEE IT SHINE FROM OUR WINDOWS I WONDER HOW LONG IT WILL BURN WITHOUT BEIN FILLED IF I ONLY KEEP IT LIT ONE HOUR EVERY NIGHT


MISTER TUBBS BROUGHT IT OVER FROM NORTH RIVERBORO AND SAID SOMEBODY SENT AN ORDER BY MAIL FOR IT REBECCA SQUEEZED EMMA JANE'S ARM AND EMMA JANE GAVE A RAPTUROUS RETURN SQUEEZE


IT WAS MISTER ALADDIN WHISPERED REBECCA AS THEY RAN DOWN THE PATH TO THE GATE SEESAW FOLLOWED THEM AND HANDSOMELY OFFERED TO SEE THEM APIECE DOWN THE ROAD BUT REBECCA DECLINED HIS ESCORT WITH SUCH DECISION THAT HE DID NOT PRESS THE MATTER


BUT WENT TO BED TO DREAM OF HER INSTEAD IN HIS DREAMS FLASHES OF LIGHTNING PROCEEDED FROM BOTH HER EYES AND SHE HELD A FLAMING SWORD IN EITHER HAND REBECCA ENTERED THE HOME DINING ROOM JOYOUSLY THE BURNHAM SISTERS HAD GONE AND THE TWO AUNTS WERE KNITTING


IT WAS A HEAVENLY PARTY SHE CRIED TAKING OFF HER HAT AND CAPE GO BACK AND SEE IF YOU HAVE SHUT THE DOOR TIGHT AND THEN LOCK IT SAID MISS MIRANDA IN HER USUAL AUSTERE MANNER


AND OH AUNT JANE AUNT MIRANDA IF YOU'LL ONLY COME INTO THE KITCHEN AND LOOK OUT OF THE SINK WINDOW YOU CAN SEE THE BANQUET LAMP SHINING ALL RED JUST AS IF THE SIMPSONS HOUSE WAS ON FIRE AND PROBABLY IT WILL BE BEFORE LONG OBSERVED MIRANDA I'VE GOT NO PATIENCE WITH SUCH FOOLISH GOIN'S ON


JANE ACCOMPANIED REBECCA INTO THE KITCHEN ALTHOUGH THE FEEBLE GLIMMER WHICH SHE WAS ABLE TO SEE FROM THAT DISTANCE DID NOT SEEM TO HER A DAZZLING EXHIBITION SHE TRIED TO BE AS ENTHUSIASTIC AS POSSIBLE REBECCA WHO WAS IT


THAT SOLD THE THREE HUNDRED CAKES OF SOAP TO MISTER LADD IN NORTH RIVERBORO MISTER WHO EXCLAIMED REBECCA MISTER LADD IN NORTH RIVERBORO IS THAT HIS REAL NAME QUERIED REBECCA IN ASTONISHMENT I DIDN'T MAKE A BAD GUESS AND SHE LAUGHED SOFTLY TO HERSELF


I ASKED YOU WHO SOLD THE SOAP TO ADAM LADD RESUMED MISS JANE ADAM LADD THEN HE'S A LADD TOO WHAT FUN ANSWER ME REBECCA OH EXCUSE ME AUNT JANE I WAS SO BUSY THINKING EMMA JANE AND I SOLD THE SOAP TO MISTER LADD


HE NEEDED THE SOAP DREADFULLY AS A PRESENT FOR HIS AUNT MISS JANE STILL LOOKED A LITTLE UNCONVINCED THOUGH SHE ONLY SAID I HOPE YOUR AUNT MIRANDA WON'T MIND BUT YOU KNOW HOW PARTICULAR SHE IS REBECCA AND I REALLY WISH YOU WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY WITHOUT ASKING HER FIRST FOR YOUR ACTIONS ARE VERY QUEER


THERE CAN'T BE ANYTHING WRONG THIS TIME REBECCA ANSWERED CONFIDENTLY EMMA JANE SOLD HER CAKES TO HER OWN RELATIONS AND TO UNCLE JERRY COBB AND I WENT FIRST TO THOSE NEW TENEMENTS NEAR THE LUMBER MILL AND THEN TO THE LADDS MISTER LADD BOUGHT ALL WE HAD AND MADE US PROMISE TO KEEP THE SECRET UNTIL THE PREMIUM CAME


REBECCA'S HAIR WAS LOOSENED AND FALLING OVER HER FOREHEAD IN RUFFLED WAVES HER EYES WERE BRILLIANT HER CHEEKS CRIMSON THERE WAS A HINT OF EVERYTHING IN THE GIRL'S FACE OF SENSITIVENESS AND DELICACY AS WELL AS OF ARDOR


THERE WAS THE SWEETNESS OF THE MAYFLOWER AND THE STRENGTH OF THE YOUNG OAK BUT ONE COULD EASILY DIVINE THAT SHE WAS ONE OF THE SOULS BY NATURE PITCHED TOO HIGH BY SUFFERING PLUNGED TOO LOW


THE THIRD MAN FROM THE END OH PATTY DID YOU BRING US SOME WEDDING CAKE DID YOU HAVE ANY ADVENTURES


WITH THE DEXTERITY OF PRACTICE SPRANG UPON THE REAR STEP OF THE HEARSE AS IT TURNED IN AT THE SCHOOL GATE AND ROLLED UP THE CURVING DRIVE TO THE PORTE COCHERE THE HEARSE WAS THE POPULAR NAME FOR THE BLACK VARNISHED WAGONETTE WHICH CONVEYED THE PUPILS OF SAINT URSULA'S FROM CHURCH AND STATION


IT WAS PLANNED TO ACCOMMODATE TWENTY PATTY AND HER SUIT CASE ALONE IN THE CAPACIOUS INTERIOR WERE JOLTING ABOUT LIKE TWO TINY PEAS IN A VERY BIG POD


AS THEY CAME TO A STOP THEY WERE BESIEGED BY A CROWD OF BLUE COATED GIRLS IT WAS AFTERNOON RECREATION AND THE WHOLE SCHOOL WAS ABROAD THE WELCOME THAT SHE RECEIVED WOULD HAVE LED AN ONLOOKER TO INFER THAT PATTY HAD BEEN GONE THREE MONTHS INSTEAD OF THREE DAYS SHE AND HER TWO


POSTILIONS DESCENDED AND MARTIN GATHERED UP HIS REINS COME ON YOUSE ALL WHO WANTS A RIDE TO THE STABLES WAS HIS HOSPITABLE INVITATION IT INUNDATED HIM WITH PASSENGERS THEY CROWDED INSIDE TWICE AS MANY AS THE HEARSE WOULD HOLD


THEY SWARMED OVER THE DRIVER'S SEAT AND THE STEPS AND TWO EQUESTRIENNES EVEN PERCHED THEMSELVES ON THE HORSES BACKS WHAT'S THE ADVENTURE DEMANDED CONNY AND PRISCILLA IN A BREATH AS THE CAVALCADE RATTLED OFF PATTY WAVED HER HAND TOWARD THE SUIT CASE


THERE IT IS TAKE IT UPSTAIRS I'LL BE WITH YOU AS SOON AS I'VE REPORTED BUT THAT ISN'T YOUR SUIT CASE PATTY SHOOK HER HEAD MYSTERIOUSLY IF YOU TRIED A THOUSAND YEARS YOU'D NEVER GUESS WHO OWNS IT WHO PATTY LAUGHED


JUST A LITTLE SOUVENIR THAT I PICKED UP I'LL TELL YOU AS SOON AS I'VE INTERVIEWED THE DOWAGER HURRY AND SLIP IN WHILE JELLY ISN'T LOOKING THEY CAST A QUICK GLANCE OVER THEIR SHOULDERS TOWARD THE GYMNASIUM INSTRUCTOR WHO WAS ARGUING FAT IRENE MC CULLOUGH INTO FASTER MOVEMENTS ON THE TENNIS COURT


MISS JELLINGS WAS INSISTENT THAT RECREATION SHOULD BE ACTIVELY PURSUED OUT OF DOORS THE TWO COULD EASILY HAVE OBTAINED PERMISSION TO GREET PATTY'S RETURN INSIDE BUT IT WAS THE POLICY OF THE TRIO NEVER TO ASK PERMISSION IN MINOR MATTERS IT WASTED ONE'S CREDIT UNNECESSARILY


PRISCILLA AND CONNY TURNED UPSTAIRS LUGGING THE SUIT CASE BETWEEN THEM WHILE PATTY APPROACHED THE PRINCIPAL'S STUDY TEN MINUTES LATER SHE JOINED HER COMPANIONS IN SEVEN PARADISE ALLEY THEY WERE SITTING ON THE BED THEIR CHINS IN THEIR HANDS


STUDYING THE SUIT CASE PROPPED ON A CHAIR BEFORE THEM WELL THEY INQUIRED IN A BREATH SHE SAYS SHE'S GLAD TO SEE ME BACK AND HOPES I DIDN'T EAT TOO MUCH WEDDING CAKE


THE MAN WITH THE BLACK EYEBROWS AND THE DIMPLE IN HIS CHIN WHO SANG THE FUNNY SONGS THIRD FROM THE END ON THE RIGHT HAND SIDE JERMYN HILLIARD JUNIOR PRISCILLA ASKED BREATHLESSLY NOT REALLY CONNY LAID HER HAND ON HER HEART WITH AN EXAGGERATED SIGH


TRULY AND HONEST PATTY TURNED IT OVER AND POINTED TO THE INITIALS ON THE END


IS IT LOCKED YES PATTY NODDED BUT MY KEY WILL OPEN IT


AND THINGS WHERE'D YOU GET IT WELL SAID PATTY LANGUIDLY IT'S A LONG STORY


I THINK YOU'RE BEASTLY WELL THE GLEE CLUB WAS LAST THURSDAY NIGHT


WHEN WE GOT IN IT WAS CRAM FULL OF MEN THE ENTIRE YALE GLEE CLUB WAS GOING TO THE STATION THERE WERE SO MANY OF THEM THAT THEY WERE SITTING IN EACH OTHER'S LAPS THE WHOLE TOP LAYER ROSE AND SAID PERFECTLY GRAVELY AND POLITELY MADAME TAKE MY SEAT


MAM'SELLE WAS OUTRAGED SHE SAID IN FRENCH WHICH OF COURSE THEY ALL UNDERSTOOD THAT SHE THOUGHT AMERICAN COLLEGE BOYS HAD DISGRACEFUL MANNERS BUT I SMILED A LITTLE I COULDN'T HELP IT THEY WERE SO FUNNY AND THEN TWO OF THE BOTTOM ONES OFFERED THEIR SEATS AND WE SAT DOWN


AND YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE IT BUT THE THIRD MAN FROM THE END WAS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME NOT REALLY OH PATTY IS HE AS GOOD LOOKING NEAR TO AS HE WAS ON THE STAGE BETTER ARE THOSE HIS REAL EYEBROWS OR WERE THEY BLACKED


SHE WAS AS FLUSTERED AS AN OLD HEN WITH ONE CHICKEN SHE PUT ME IN CHARGE OF THE CONDUCTOR WITH SO MANY INSTRUCTIONS THAT I KNOW HE FELT LIKE A NEWLY ENGAGED NURSEMAID THE GLEE CLUB MEN RODE IN THE SMOKING CAR


EXCEPT JERMYN HILLIARD JUNIOR AND HE FOLLOWED ME RIGHT INTO THE PARLOR CAR AND SAT DOWN IN THE CHAIR EXACTLY OPPOSITE PATTY THEY CRIED IN SHOCKED CHORUS YOU SURELY DIDN'T SPEAK TO HIM


OH CONNY MURMURED DISAPPOINTEDLY THEN WHAT HAPPENED PRISCILLA ASKED NOTHING AT ALL I GOT OUT AT COOMSDALE AND UNCLE TOM MET ME WITH THE AUTOMOBILE THE CHAUFFEUR TOOK MY SUIT CASE FROM THE PORTER AND I DIDN'T SEE IT NEAR TO AT ALL WE REACHED THE HOUSE JUST AT TEA TIME


AND I WENT STRAIGHT IN TO TEA WITHOUT GOING UPSTAIRS THE BUTLER TOOK UP MY SUIT CASE AND THE MAID CAME AND ASKED FOR THE KEY SO SHE COULD UNPACK THAT HOUSE IS SIMPLY RUNNING OVER WITH SERVANTS I'M ALWAYS SCARED TO DEATH


ALL THE USHERS AND BRIDESMAIDS WERE THERE AND EVERYTHING WAS VERY JOLLY ONLY I COULDN'T MAKE OUT WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT HALF THE TIME BECAUSE THEY ALL KNEW EACH OTHER AND HAD A LOT OF JOKES I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND


CONNY NODDED FEELINGLY THAT'S THE WAY THEY ACTED AT THE SEASIDE LAST SUMMER I THINK GROWN PEOPLE HAVE HORRID MANNERS I DID FEEL SORT OF YOUNG PATTY ACKNOWLEDGED


HE WAS TRYING TO OBEY LOUISE AND AMUSE LITTLE COUSIN BUT HE WAS THINKING ALL THE TIME


I TOLD YOU TO PUT IT UP SAID PRISCILLA JUST WAIT SAID PATTY PORTENTOUSLY WHEN I WENT UPSTAIRS TO DRESS FOR DINNER THE MAID MET ME IN THE HALL WITH HER EYES POPPING OUT OF HER HEAD BEG PARDON MISS PATTY SHE SAID BUT IS THAT YOUR SUIT CASE YES I SAID OF COURSE IT'S MY SUIT CASE


WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH IT SHE JUST WAVED HER HAND TOWARD THE TABLE AND DIDN'T SAY A WORD AND THERE IT WAS WIDE OPEN PATTY TOOK A KEY FROM HER POCKET UNLOCKED THE SUIT CASE AND THREW BACK THE LID A MAN'S DRESS SUIT WAS NEATLY FOLDED ON THE TOP WITH A PIPE A BOX OF CIGARETTES SOME COLLARS


AND VARIOUS OTHER MASCULINE TRIFLES FILLING IN THE INTERSTICES OH THEY GASPED IN BREATHLESS CHORUS THEY BELONG TO HIM CONNY MURMURED FERVENTLY PATTY NODDED AND WHEN I SHOWED UNCLE TOM THAT SUIT CASE HE NEARLY DIED LAUGHING


HE TELEPHONED TO THE STATION BUT THEY DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT


UNCLE TOM LIVES FIVE MILES FROM TOWN AND THERE SIMPLY WASN'T ANYTHING WE COULD DO THAT NIGHT AND JUST IMAGINE HIS FEELINGS WHEN HE STARTED TO DRESS FOR THE CONCERT AND FOUND PATTY'S NEW PINK EVENING GOWN SPREAD OUT ON TOP SUGGESTED PRISCILLA OH PATTY


JUST LIKE ALL MY DANCING DRESSES NINE INCHES OFF THE FLOOR WITH ELBOW SLEEVES AND A SILLY SASH I HATED IT ANYWAY YOU MUST REMEMBER YOU ARE A SCHOOL GIRL CONNY QUOTED AND UNTIL JUST WAIT TILL I TELL YOU PATTY TRIUMPHED


THE MAN WHO TOOK ME IN TO DINNER NEVER DREAMED THAT I HADN'T BEEN OUT FOR YEARS AND YOU KNOW HE TRIED TO FLIRT WITH ME HE DID REALLY AND HE WAS GETTING AWFULLY OLD HE MUST HAVE BEEN ALMOST FORTY I FELT AS THOUGH I WERE FLIRTING WITH MY GRANDFATHER YOU KNOW PATTY ADDED IT ISN'T SO BAD BEING GROWN UP


BEFORE PATTY RESUMED HER CHRONICLE AND UNCLE TOM MADE ME TELL ABOUT THE SUIT CASE AT THE DINNER TABLE EVERYBODY LAUGHED IT MADE A VERY EXCITING STORY I TOLD THEM ABOUT THE WHOLE SCHOOL GOING TO THE GLEE CLUB AND FALLING IN LOVE IN A BODY WITH THE THIRD MAN FROM THE END


AND HOW WE ALL CUT HIS PICTURE OUT OF THE PROGRAM AND PASTED IT IN OUR WATCHES AND THEN ABOUT MY SITTING ACROSS FROM HIM IN THE TRAIN AND CHANGING SUIT CASES MISTER HARPER THE MAN NEXT TO ME SAID IT WAS THE MOST ROMANTIC THING HE'D EVER HEARD IN HIS LIFE THAT LOUISE'S MARRIAGE WAS NOTHING TO IT


BUT YOU DIDN'T LEAVE IT I CAME ON THE OTHER ROAD I'M GOING TO SEND IT DOWN AND WHAT DID YOU WEAR AT THE WEDDING LOUISE'S CLOTHES IT DIDN'T MATTER A BIT MY NOT MATCHING THE OTHER BRIDESMAIDS BECAUSE I WAS MAID OF HONOR AND OUGHT TO DRESS DIFFERENTLY ANYWAY I'VE BEEN GROWN UP FOR THREE DAYS


TALKING TO MEN DID YOU TELL THE DOWAGER YES I TOLD HER ABOUT GETTING THE WRONG SUIT CASE I DIDN'T MENTION THE FACT THAT IT BELONGED TO THE THIRD MAN FROM THE END WHAT DID SHE SAY SHE SAID IT WAS VERY CARELESS OF ME TO RUN OFF WITH A STRANGE MAN'S LUGGAGE


AND SHE HOPED HE WAS A GENTLEMAN AND WOULD TAKE IT NICELY SHE TELEPHONED TO THE BAGGAGE MAN THAT IT WAS HERE BUT SHE COULDN'T SEND MARTIN WITH IT THIS AFTERNOON BECAUSE HE HAD TO GO TO THE FARM FOR SOME EGGS RECREATION WAS OVER AND THE GIRLS CAME TROOPING IN TO GATHER BOOKS AND PADS AND PENCILS FOR THE APPROACHING STUDY HOUR


EVERYONE WHO PASSED NUMBER SEVEN DROPPED IN TO HEAR THE NEWS EACH IN TURN RECEIVED THE STORY OF THE SUIT CASE AND EACH IN TURN


DOESN'T IT SMELL TOBACCOEY AND BAY RUMMISH SAID ROSALIE PATTON SNIFFING OH THERE'S A BUTTON LOOSE CRIED FLORENCE HISSOP THE CAREFUL HOUSEWIFE WHERE'S SOME BLACK SILK PATTY SHE THREADED A NEEDLE AND SECURED THE BUTTON THEN SHE DARINGLY TRIED ON THE COAT


EIGHT OTHERS FOLLOWED HER EXAMPLE AND THRILLED AT THE TOUCH IT WAS CALCULATED TO FIT A FAR LARGER PERSON THAN ANY PRESENT EVEN IRENE MC CULLOUGH FOUND IT BAGGY HE HAD AWFULLY BROAD SHOULDERS SAID ROSALIE STROKING THE SATIN LINING


THEY PEERED DAINTILY AT THE OTHER GARMENTS OH SQUEALED MAE MERTELLE HE WEARS BLUE SILK SUSPENDERS AND SOMETHING ELSE BLUE CHIRPED EDNA HARTWELL PEERING OVER HER SHOULDER THEY'RE PAJAMAS AND TO THINK OF SUCH A THING HAPPENING TO PATTY


SIGHED MAE MERTELLE WHY NOT BRISTLED PATTY YOU'RE SO


YOUNG WAIT TILL YOU SEE ME WITH MY HAIR DONE UP


THE END SAID MAE UNKINDLY WILL BE THAT THE BAGGAGE MAN WILL DELIVER THE SUIT CASE AND JERMYN HILLIARD JUNIOR WILL NEVER KNOW A MAID APPEARED AT THE DOOR IF YOU PLEASE SHE MURMURED HER AMAZED EYES ON IRENE WHO WAS STILL WEARING THE COAT


MISSUS TRENT WOULD LIKE TO HAVE MISS PATTY WYATT COME TO THE DRAWING ROOM AND I AM TO TAKE THE SUIT CASE DOWN THE GENTLEMAN IS WAITING OH PATTY A GASP WENT AROUND THE ROOM DO YOUR HAIR UP QUICK PRISCILLA CAUGHT PATTY'S TWIN BRAIDS AND WOUND THEM AROUND HER HEAD


WHILE THE OTHERS IN A FLUTTER OF EXCITEMENT THRUST IN THE COAT AND RELOCKED THE SUIT CASE THEY CROWDED AFTER HER IN A BODY AND HUNG OVER THE BANISTERS AT A PERILOUS ANGLE STRAINING THEIR EARS IN THE DIRECTION OF THE DRAWING ROOM NOTHING BUT A MURMUR OF VOICES FLOATED UP


PUNCTUATED BY AN OCCASIONAL DEEP BASS LAUGH WHEN THEY HEARD THE FRONT DOOR CLOSE WITH ONE ACCORD THEY INVADED HARRIET GLADDEN'S ROOM WHICH COMMANDED THE WALK AND PRESSED THEIR NOSES AGAINST THE PANE A SHORT THICK SET MAN OF GERMAN BUILD WAS WADDLING TOWARD THE GATE AND THE TROLLEY CAR


THEY GAZED WITH WIDE HORRIFIED EYES AND TURNED WITHOUT A WORD TO MEET PATTY AS SHE TRUDGED UPSTAIRS LUGGING HER ERRANT SUIT CASE A GLANCE TOLD HER THAT THEY HAD SEEN AND DROPPING ON THE TOP STEP SHE LEANED HER HEAD AGAINST THE RAILING AND LAUGHED


THE EVENING PASSED ON MADAME DE VILLEFORT EXPRESSED A DESIRE TO RETURN TO PARIS WHICH MADAME DANGLARS HAD NOT DARED TO DO NOTWITHSTANDING THE UNEASINESS SHE EXPERIENCED ON HIS WIFE'S REQUEST M DE VILLEFORT


WAS THE FIRST TO GIVE THE SIGNAL OF DEPARTURE HE OFFERED A SEAT IN HIS LANDAU TO MADAME DANGLARS THAT SHE MIGHT BE UNDER THE CARE OF HIS WIFE


AS FOR M DANGLARS ABSORBED IN AN INTERESTING CONVERSATION WITH M CAVALCANTI HE PAID NO ATTENTION TO ANYTHING THAT WAS PASSING


HE HAD NOTICED THE APPROACH OF VILLEFORT TO MADAME DANGLARS AND HE SOON GUESSED ALL THAT HAD PASSED BETWEEN THEM THOUGH THE WORDS HAD BEEN UTTERED IN SO LOW A VOICE


WITHOUT OPPOSING THEIR ARRANGEMENTS HE ALLOWED MORREL CHATEAU RENAUD AND DEBRAY TO LEAVE ON HORSEBACK AND THE LADIES IN M DE VILLEFORT'S CARRIAGE DANGLARS MORE AND MORE DELIGHTED WITH MAJOR CAVALCANTI


HAD OFFERED HIM A SEAT IN HIS CARRIAGE ANDREA CAVALCANTI FOUND HIS TILBURY WAITING AT THE DOOR THE GROOM IN EVERY RESPECT A CARICATURE OF THE ENGLISH FASHION


WAS STANDING ON TIPTOE TO HOLD A LARGE IRON GRAY HORSE ANDREA HAD SPOKEN VERY LITTLE DURING DINNER HE WAS AN INTELLIGENT LAD AND HE FEARED TO UTTER SOME ABSURDITY BEFORE SO MANY GRAND PEOPLE


AMONGST WHOM WITH DILATING EYES HE SAW THE KING'S ATTORNEY THEN HE HAD BEEN SEIZED UPON BY DANGLARS WHO WITH A RAPID GLANCE AT THE STIFF NECKED OLD MAJOR AND HIS MODEST SON


AND TAKING INTO CONSIDERATION THE HOSPITALITY OF THE COUNT MADE UP HIS MIND THAT HE WAS IN THE SOCIETY OF SOME NABOB COME TO PARIS TO FINISH THE WORLDLY EDUCATION OF HIS HEIR


HE CONTEMPLATED WITH UNSPEAKABLE DELIGHT THE LARGE DIAMOND WHICH SHONE ON THE MAJOR'S LITTLE FINGER FOR THE MAJOR LIKE A PRUDENT MAN IN CASE OF ANY ACCIDENT HAPPENING TO HIS BANK NOTES HAD IMMEDIATELY CONVERTED THEM INTO AN AVAILABLE ASSET


THEN AFTER DINNER ON THE PRETEXT OF BUSINESS HE QUESTIONED THE FATHER AND SON UPON THEIR MODE OF LIVING AND THE FATHER AND SON PREVIOUSLY INFORMED THAT IT WAS THROUGH DANGLARS THE ONE WAS TO RECEIVE HIS FORTY EIGHT THOUSAND FRANCS


WERE SO FULL OF AFFABILITY THAT THEY WOULD HAVE SHAKEN HANDS EVEN WITH THE BANKER'S SERVANTS SO MUCH DID THEIR GRATITUDE NEED AN OBJECT TO EXPEND ITSELF UPON ONE THING ABOVE ALL THE REST HEIGHTENED THE RESPECT


NAY ALMOST THE VENERATION OF DANGLARS FOR CAVALCANTI THE LATTER FAITHFUL TO THE PRINCIPLE OF HORACE NIL ADMIRARI HAD CONTENTED HIMSELF WITH SHOWING HIS KNOWLEDGE


BY DECLARING IN WHAT LAKE THE BEST LAMPREYS WERE CAUGHT THEN HE HAD EATEN SOME WITHOUT SAYING A WORD MORE


DANGLARS THEREFORE CONCLUDED THAT SUCH LUXURIES WERE COMMON AT THE TABLE OF THE ILLUSTRIOUS DESCENDANT OF THE CAVALCANTI WHO MOST LIKELY IN LUCCA FED UPON TROUT BROUGHT FROM SWITZERLAND AND LOBSTERS SENT FROM ENGLAND


BY THE SAME MEANS USED BY THE COUNT TO BRING THE LAMPREYS FROM LAKE FUSARO AND THE STERLET FROM THE VOLGA THUS IT WAS WITH MUCH POLITENESS OF MANNER THAT HE HEARD CAVALCANTI PRONOUNCE THESE WORDS


TO MORROW SIR I SHALL HAVE THE HONOR OF WAITING UPON YOU ON BUSINESS AND I SIR SAID DANGLARS SHALL BE MOST HAPPY TO RECEIVE YOU


IF IT WOULD NOT BE DEPRIVING HIM OF THE COMPANY OF HIS SON TO THIS CAVALCANTI REPLIED BY SAYING THAT FOR SOME TIME PAST HIS SON HAD LIVED INDEPENDENTLY OF HIM THAT HE HAD HIS OWN HORSES AND CARRIAGES


AND THAT NOT HAVING COME TOGETHER IT WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT FOR THEM TO LEAVE SEPARATELY THE MAJOR SEATED HIMSELF THEREFORE BY THE SIDE OF DANGLARS


WHO WAS MORE AND MORE CHARMED WITH THE IDEAS OF ORDER AND ECONOMY WHICH RULED THIS MAN AND YET WHO BEING ABLE TO ALLOW HIS SON SIXTY THOUSAND FRANCS A YEAR


AS FOR ANDREA HE BEGAN BY WAY OF SHOWING OFF TO SCOLD HIS GROOM WHO INSTEAD OF BRINGING THE TILBURY TO THE STEPS OF THE HOUSE HAD TAKEN IT TO THE OUTER DOOR THUS


GIVING HIM THE TROUBLE OF WALKING THIRTY STEPS TO REACH IT THE GROOM HEARD HIM WITH HUMILITY TOOK THE BIT OF THE IMPATIENT ANIMAL WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND WITH THE RIGHT HELD OUT THE REINS TO ANDREA


WHO TAKING THEM FROM HIM RESTED HIS POLISHED BOOT LIGHTLY ON THE STEP AT THAT MOMENT A HAND TOUCHED HIS SHOULDER THE YOUNG MAN TURNED ROUND


AND HAD RETURNED JUST AS THEY WERE STARTING BUT INSTEAD OF EITHER OF THESE HE SAW NOTHING BUT A STRANGE FACE SUNBURNT AND ENCIRCLED BY A BEARD WITH EYES BRILLIANT AS CARBUNCLES


AND A SMILE UPON THE MOUTH WHICH DISPLAYED A PERFECT SET OF WHITE TEETH POINTED AND SHARP AS THE WOLF'S OR JACKAL'S A RED HANDKERCHIEF ENCIRCLED HIS GRAY HEAD


TORN AND FILTHY GARMENTS COVERED HIS LARGE BONY LIMBS WHICH SEEMED AS THOUGH LIKE THOSE OF A SKELETON THEY WOULD RATTLE AS HE WALKED AND THE HAND WITH WHICH HE LEANED UPON THE YOUNG MAN'S SHOULDER


AND WHICH WAS THE FIRST THING ANDREA SAW SEEMED OF GIGANTIC SIZE DID THE YOUNG MAN RECOGNIZE THAT FACE BY THE LIGHT OF THE LANTERN IN HIS TILBURY


OR WAS HE MERELY STRUCK WITH THE HORRIBLE APPEARANCE OF HIS INTERROGATOR WE CANNOT SAY BUT ONLY RELATE THE FACT THAT HE SHUDDERED AND STEPPED BACK SUDDENLY


HE ASKED PARDON ME MY FRIEND IF I DISTURB YOU SAID THE MAN WITH THE RED HANDKERCHIEF BUT I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BEG AT NIGHT


SAID THE GROOM ENDEAVORING TO RID HIS MASTER OF THE TROUBLESOME INTRUDER I AM NOT BEGGING MY FINE FELLOW SAID THE UNKNOWN TO THE SERVANT WITH SO IRONICAL AN EXPRESSION OF THE EYE AND SO FRIGHTFUL A SMILE THAT HE WITHDREW


I ONLY WISH TO SAY TWO OR THREE WORDS TO YOUR MASTER WHO GAVE ME A COMMISSION TO EXECUTE ABOUT A FORTNIGHT AGO COME SAID ANDREA WITH SUFFICIENT NERVE FOR HIS SERVANT NOT TO PERCEIVE HIS AGITATION WHAT DO YOU WANT


SPEAK QUICKLY FRIEND THE MAN SAID IN A LOW VOICE I WISH I WISH YOU TO SPARE ME THE WALK BACK TO PARIS I AM VERY TIRED AND AS I HAVE NOT EATEN SO GOOD A DINNER AS YOU


I CAN SCARCELY STAND THE YOUNG MAN SHUDDERED AT THIS STRANGE FAMILIARITY TELL ME HE SAID TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WELL THEN


I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME UP IN YOUR FINE CARRIAGE AND CARRY ME BACK ANDREA TURNED PALE BUT SAID NOTHING


YES SAID THE MAN THRUSTING HIS HANDS INTO HIS POCKETS AND LOOKING IMPUDENTLY AT THE YOUTH I HAVE TAKEN THE WHIM INTO MY HEAD DO YOU UNDERSTAND MASTER BENEDETTO


AT THIS NAME NO DOUBT THE YOUNG MAN REFLECTED A LITTLE FOR HE WENT TOWARDS HIS GROOM SAYING THIS MAN IS RIGHT I DID INDEED CHARGE HIM WITH A COMMISSION THE RESULT OF WHICH HE MUST TELL ME WALK TO THE BARRIER


THERE TAKE A CAB THAT YOU MAY NOT BE TOO LATE THE SURPRISED GROOM RETIRED LET ME AT LEAST REACH A SHADY SPOT SAID ANDREA OH AS FOR THAT


I'LL TAKE YOU TO A SPLENDID PLACE SAID THE MAN WITH THE HANDKERCHIEF AND TAKING THE HORSE'S BIT HE LED THE TILBURY WHERE IT WAS CERTAINLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR ANY ONE TO WITNESS THE HONOR THAT ANDREA CONFERRED UPON HIM


DON'T THINK I WANT THE GLORY OF RIDING IN YOUR FINE CARRIAGE SAID HE OH NO IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I AM TIRED AND ALSO BECAUSE I HAVE A LITTLE BUSINESS TO TALK OVER WITH YOU


COME STEP IN SAID THE YOUNG MAN IT WAS A PITY THIS SCENE HAD NOT OCCURRED IN DAYLIGHT FOR IT WAS CURIOUS TO SEE THIS RASCAL THROWING HIMSELF HEAVILY DOWN ON THE CUSHION BESIDE THE YOUNG AND ELEGANT DRIVER OF THE TILBURY


ANDREA DROVE PAST THE LAST HOUSE IN THE VILLAGE WITHOUT SAYING A WORD TO HIS COMPANION WHO SMILED COMPLACENTLY AS THOUGH WELL PLEASED TO FIND HIMSELF TRAVELLING IN SO COMFORTABLE A VEHICLE


ANDREA LOOKED AROUND IN ORDER TO ASSURE HIMSELF THAT HE COULD NEITHER BE SEEN NOR HEARD AND THEN STOPPING THE HORSE AND CROSSING HIS ARMS BEFORE THE MAN HE ASKED NOW


LET ME ASK YOU WHY YOU DECEIVED ME HOW HAVE I DECEIVED YOU HOW DO YOU ASK


BUT INSTEAD OF THAT YOU COME TO PARIS HOW DOES THAT ANNOY YOU IT DOES NOT ON THE CONTRARY I THINK IT WILL ANSWER MY PURPOSE SO SAID ANDREA


YOU ARE SPECULATING UPON ME WHAT FINE WORDS HE USES


THAT YOU ARE MISTAKEN WELL WELL DON'T BE ANGRY MY BOY YOU KNOW WELL ENOUGH WHAT IT IS TO BE UNFORTUNATE AND MISFORTUNES MAKE US JEALOUS


I THOUGHT YOU WERE EARNING A LIVING IN TUSCANY OR PIEDMONT BY ACTING AS FACCHINO OR CICERONE AND I PITIED YOU SINCERELY AS I WOULD A CHILD OF MY OWN YOU KNOW I ALWAYS DID CALL YOU MY CHILD


COME COME WHAT THEN PATIENCE PATIENCE I AM PATIENT BUT GO ON


YOU MUST HAVE DISCOVERED A MINE OR ELSE BECOME A STOCKBROKER SO THAT AS YOU CONFESS YOU ARE JEALOUS NO I AM PLEASED SO PLEASED THAT I WISHED TO CONGRATULATE YOU


I CHOSE MY OPPORTUNITY THAT I MIGHT NOT COMPROMISE YOU


YOU SPEAK TO ME BEFORE MY SERVANT HOW CAN I HELP THAT MY BOY I SPEAK TO YOU WHEN I CAN CATCH YOU YOU HAVE A QUICK HORSE A LIGHT TILBURY


YOU ARE NATURALLY AS SLIPPERY AS AN EEL IF I HAD MISSED YOU TO NIGHT I MIGHT NOT HAVE HAD ANOTHER CHANCE


YOU ARE LUCKY I WISH I COULD SAY AS MUCH FOR I DO CONCEAL MYSELF AND THEN I WAS AFRAID YOU WOULD NOT RECOGNIZE ME BUT YOU DID


WITH HIS UNPLEASANT SMILE IT WAS VERY POLITE OF YOU COME SAID ANDREA WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU DO NOT SPEAK AFFECTIONATELY TO ME BENEDETTO MY OLD FRIEND


THAT IS NOT RIGHT TAKE CARE OR I MAY BECOME TROUBLESOME THIS MENACE SMOTHERED THE YOUNG MAN'S PASSION HE URGED THE HORSE AGAIN INTO A TROT


AS YOU SAID JUST NOW YOU ARE A NATIVE OF MARSEILLES I AM DO YOU KNOW THEN NOW WHAT YOU ARE NO BUT I WAS BROUGHT UP IN CORSICA YOU ARE OLD AND OBSTINATE


I AM YOUNG AND WILFUL BETWEEN PEOPLE LIKE US THREATS ARE OUT OF PLACE EVERYTHING SHOULD BE AMICABLY ARRANGED IS IT MY FAULT IF FORTUNE


HAS BEEN KIND TO ME FORTUNE HAS BEEN KIND TO YOU THEN YOUR TILBURY YOUR GROOM YOUR CLOTHES ARE NOT THEN HIRED GOOD


HIS EYES SPARKLING WITH AVARICE OH YOU KNEW THAT WELL ENOUGH BEFORE SPEAKING TO ME SAID ANDREA BECOMING MORE AND MORE EXCITED IF I HAD BEEN WEARING A HANDKERCHIEF LIKE YOURS ON MY HEAD


RAGS ON MY BACK AND WORN OUT SHOES ON MY FEET YOU WOULD NOT HAVE KNOWN ME YOU WRONG ME MY BOY NOW I HAVE FOUND YOU NOTHING PREVENTS MY BEING AS WELL DRESSED AS ANY ONE KNOWING AS I DO


THE GOODNESS OF YOUR HEART IF YOU HAVE TWO COATS YOU WILL GIVE ME ONE OF THEM I USED TO DIVIDE MY SOUP AND BEANS WITH YOU WHEN YOU WERE HUNGRY TRUE SAID ANDREA


WHAT AN APPETITE YOU USED TO HAVE IS IT AS GOOD NOW OH YES REPLIED ANDREA LAUGHING


HE IS NOT A PRINCE SIMPLY A COUNT A COUNT AND A RICH ONE TOO EH YES BUT YOU HAD BETTER NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY TO HIM FOR HE IS NOT A VERY GOOD TEMPERED GENTLEMAN


OH BE EASY I HAVE NO DESIGN UPON YOUR COUNT AND YOU SHALL HAVE HIM ALL TO YOURSELF BUT


YOU MUST PAY FOR IT YOU UNDERSTAND WELL


I THINK THAT WITH A HUNDRED FRANCS A MONTH WELL I COULD LIVE UPON A HUNDRED FRANCS COME YOU UNDERSTAND ME


BUT THAT WITH WITH WITH A HUNDRED AND FIFTY FRANCS I SHOULD BE QUITE HAPPY HERE ARE TWO HUNDRED SAID ANDREA


THERE NOW AGAIN YOU DEGRADE ME HOW SO BY MAKING ME APPLY TO THE SERVANTS WHEN I WANT TO TRANSACT BUSINESS WITH YOU ALONE WELL BE IT SO THEN


TAKE IT FROM ME THEN AND SO LONG AT LEAST AS I RECEIVE MY INCOME YOU SHALL BE PAID YOURS COME COME I ALWAYS SAID YOU WERE A FINE FELLOW AND IT IS A BLESSING WHEN GOOD FORTUNE HAPPENS TO SUCH AS YOU


BUT TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT WHY DO YOU WISH TO KNOW ASKED CAVALCANTI WHAT DO YOU AGAIN DEFY ME NO THE FACT IS I HAVE FOUND MY FATHER WHAT


A REAL FATHER YES SO LONG AS HE PAYS ME YOU'LL HONOR AND BELIEVE HIM THAT'S RIGHT WHAT IS HIS NAME MAJOR CAVALCANTI


SO FAR I HAVE APPEARED TO ANSWER HIS PURPOSE AND WHO FOUND THIS FATHER FOR YOU THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO


THE MAN WHOSE HOUSE YOU HAVE JUST LEFT YES


SINCE HE HOLDS THE MONEY CHEST WELL I WILL MENTION YOU TO HIM MEANWHILE WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO


YES YOU IT IS VERY KIND OF YOU TO TROUBLE YOURSELF ABOUT ME SINCE YOU INTEREST YOURSELF IN MY AFFAIRS I THINK IT IS NOW MY TURN TO ASK YOU SOME QUESTIONS AH TRUE


WELL I SHALL RENT A ROOM IN SOME RESPECTABLE HOUSE WEAR A DECENT COAT SHAVE EVERY DAY AND GO AND READ THE PAPERS IN A CAFE THEN IN THE EVENING I SHALL GO TO THE THEATRE


I SHALL LOOK LIKE SOME RETIRED BAKER THAT IS WHAT I WANT COME IF YOU WILL ONLY PUT THIS SCHEME INTO EXECUTION AND BE STEADY NOTHING COULD BE BETTER


DO YOU THINK SO M BOSSUET AND YOU


A PEER OF FRANCE AH SAID ANDREA WHO KNOWS MAJOR CAVALCANTI IS ALREADY ONE PERHAPS BUT THEN HEREDITARY RANK IS ABOLISHED


AND NOW THAT YOU HAVE ALL YOU WANT AND THAT WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER JUMP DOWN FROM THE TILBURY AND DISAPPEAR


HOW NOT AT ALL WHY JUST THINK FOR A MOMENT WITH THIS RED HANDKERCHIEF ON MY HEAD WITH SCARCELY ANY SHOES


WHAT WAS THERE BEFORE MAKING IN ALL ABOUT TWO HUNDRED FRANCS WHY I SHOULD CERTAINLY BE ARRESTED AT THE BARRIERS THEN TO JUSTIFY MYSELF I SHOULD SAY THAT YOU GAVE ME THE MONEY


THIS WOULD CAUSE INQUIRIES IT WOULD BE FOUND THAT I LEFT TOULON WITHOUT GIVING DUE NOTICE AND I SHOULD THEN BE ESCORTED BACK TO THE SHORES OF THE MEDITERRANEAN THEN I SHOULD BECOME SIMPLY


AND GOOD BY TO MY DREAM OF RESEMBLING THE RETIRED BAKER NO NO MY BOY I PREFER REMAINING HONORABLY IN THE CAPITAL ANDREA SCOWLED CERTAINLY


AS HE HAD HIMSELF OWNED THE REPUTED SON OF MAJOR CAVALCANTI WAS A WILFUL FELLOW HE DREW UP FOR A MINUTE THREW A RAPID GLANCE AROUND HIM AND THEN HIS HAND FELL INSTANTLY INTO HIS POCKET


WHERE IT BEGAN PLAYING WITH A PISTOL BUT MEANWHILE


WHO HAD NEVER TAKEN HIS EYES OFF HIS COMPANION PASSED HIS HAND BEHIND HIS BACK AND OPENED A LONG SPANISH KNIFE WHICH HE ALWAYS CARRIED WITH HIM TO BE READY IN CASE OF NEED


THE TWO FRIENDS AS WE SEE WERE WORTHY OF AND UNDERSTOOD ONE ANOTHER ANDREA'S HAND LEFT HIS POCKET INOFFENSIVELY AND WAS CARRIED UP TO THE RED MUSTACHE WHICH IT PLAYED WITH FOR SOME TIME


HE SAID HOW HAPPY YOU WILL BE I WILL DO MY BEST SAID THE INN KEEPER OF THE PONT DU GARD SHUTTING UP HIS KNIFE WELL THEN WE WILL GO INTO PARIS


BUT HOW WILL YOU PASS THROUGH THE BARRIER WITHOUT EXCITING SUSPICION IT SEEMS TO ME


WE SHALL SEE HE THEN TOOK THE GREAT COAT WITH THE LARGE COLLAR WHICH THE GROOM HAD LEFT BEHIND IN THE TILBURY AND PUT IT ON HIS BACK THEN HE TOOK OFF CAVALCANTI'S HAT WHICH HE PLACED UPON HIS OWN HEAD AND FINALLY


HE ASSUMED THE CARELESS ATTITUDE OF A SERVANT WHOSE MASTER DRIVES HIMSELF BUT TELL ME SAID ANDREA


IT IS SO WINDY THAT YOUR HAT CAN EASILY APPEAR TO HAVE BLOWN OFF COME COME ENOUGH OF THIS SAID CAVALCANTI


I HOPE I AM NOT THE CAUSE HUSH SAID ANDREA THEY PASSED THE BARRIER WITHOUT ACCIDENT AT THE FIRST CROSS STREET


WELL SAID ANDREA


YOU WOULD NOT LIKE ME TO RISK TAKING COLD BUT WHAT AM I TO DO YOU OH YOU ARE YOUNG WHILE I AM BEGINNING TO GET OLD AU REVOIR BENEDETTO


AND RUNNING INTO A COURT HE DISAPPEARED ALAS SAID ANDREA SIGHING


RIGHT OFF I OBSERVED A CLUSTER OF MOUNTAINS ABOUT TWO THOUSAND FEET HIGH WHOSE SHAPES WERE VERY WHIMSICALLY SCULPTED AFTER OUR POSITION FIX I REENTERED THE LOUNGE AND WHEN OUR BEARINGS WERE REPORTED ON THE CHART I SAW THAT WE WERE OFF THE ISLAND OF CEYLON


THAT PEARL DANGLING FROM THE LOWER LOBE OF THE INDIAN PENINSULA I WENT LOOKING IN THE LIBRARY FOR A BOOK ABOUT THIS ISLAND ONE OF THE MOST FERTILE IN THE WORLD SURE ENOUGH I FOUND A VOLUME ENTITLED CEYLON AND THE SINGHALESE


REENTERING THE LOUNGE I FIRST NOTED THE BEARINGS OF CEYLON ON WHICH ANTIQUITY LAVISHED SO MANY DIFFERENT NAMES


ITS LENGTH IS TWO HUNDRED SEVENTY FIVE MILES ITS MAXIMUM WIDTH ONE HUNDRED FIFTY MILES ITS CIRCUMFERENCE NINE HUNDRED MILES ITS SURFACE AREA TWENTY FOUR THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED FORTY EIGHT SQUARE MILES


IN OTHER WORDS A LITTLE SMALLER THAN THAT OF IRELAND JUST THEN CAPTAIN NEMO AND HIS CHIEF OFFICER APPEARED THE CAPTAIN GLANCED AT THE CHART THEN TURNING TO ME THE ISLAND OF CEYLON HE SAID


IS FAMOUS FOR ITS PEARL FISHERIES WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED PROFESSOR ARONNAX


CERTAINLY CAPTAIN FINE IT'S EASILY DONE ONLY WHEN WE SEE THE FISHERIES WE'LL SEE NO FISHERMEN


AND WE'LL ARRIVE THERE LATE TONIGHT


WHO WENT OUT IMMEDIATELY SOON THE NAUTILUS REENTERED ITS LIQUID ELEMENT AND THE PRESSURE GAUGE INDICATED THAT IT WAS STAYING AT A DEPTH OF THIRTY FEET WITH THE CHART UNDER MY EYES


I FOUND IT BY THE NINTH PARALLEL OFF THE NORTHWESTERN SHORES OF CEYLON


TO REACH IT WE HAD TO GO ALL THE WAY UP CEYLON'S WEST COAST PROFESSOR CAPTAIN NEMO THEN TOLD ME THERE ARE PEARL FISHERIES IN THE BAY OF BENGAL THE SEAS OF THE EAST INDIES


THE SEAS OF CHINA AND JAPAN PLUS THOSE SEAS SOUTH OF THE UNITED STATES THE GULF OF PANAMA AND THE GULF OF CALIFORNIA BUT IT'S OFF CEYLON THAT SUCH FISHING REAPS ITS RICHEST REWARDS NO DOUBT WE'LL BE ARRIVING A LITTLE EARLY


ONLY DURING THE MONTH OF MARCH AND FOR THIRTY DAYS SOME THREE HUNDRED BOATS CONCENTRATE ON THE LUCRATIVE HARVEST OF THESE TREASURES FROM THE SEA EACH BOAT IS MANNED BY TEN OARSMEN AND TEN FISHERMEN THE LATTER DIVIDE INTO TWO GROUPS


DIVE IN ROTATION AND DESCEND TO A DEPTH OF TWELVE METERS WITH THE HELP OF A HEAVY STONE CLUTCHED BETWEEN THEIR FEET AND ATTACHED BY A ROPE TO THEIR BOAT YOU MEAN I SAID


THAT SUCH PRIMITIVE METHODS ARE STILL ALL THAT THEY USE ALL


ALTHOUGH THESE FISHERIES BELONG TO THE MOST INDUSTRIALIZED PEOPLE IN THE WORLD THE ENGLISH


YET IT STRIKES ME THAT DIVING SUITS LIKE YOURS COULD PERFORM YEOMAN SERVICE IN SUCH WORK YES SINCE THOSE POOR FISHERMEN CAN'T STAY LONG UNDERWATER ON HIS VOYAGE TO CEYLON


THE ENGLISHMAN PERCIVAL MADE MUCH OF A KAFFIR WHO STAYED UNDER FIVE MINUTES WITHOUT COMING UP TO THE SURFACE BUT I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE


I KNOW THAT SOME DIVERS CAN LAST UP TO FIFTY SEVEN SECONDS AND HIGHLY SKILLFUL ONES TO EIGHTY SEVEN BUT SUCH MEN ARE RARE


I BELIEVE THE AVERAGE TIME UNDERWATER THAT THESE FISHERMEN CAN TOLERATE IS THIRTY SECONDS DURING WHICH THEY HASTILY STUFF THEIR LITTLE NETS WITH ALL THE PEARL OYSTERS THEY CAN TEAR LOOSE


THEIR VISION WEAKENS ULCERS BREAK OUT ON THEIR EYES SORES FORM ON THEIR BODIES AND SOME ARE EVEN STRICKEN WITH APOPLEXY ON THE OCEAN FLOOR YES I SAID IT'S A SAD OCCUPATION


AND ONE THAT EXISTS ONLY TO GRATIFY THE WHIMS OF FASHION BUT TELL ME CAPTAIN HOW MANY OYSTERS CAN A BOAT FISH UP IN A WORKDAY


IT'S EVEN SAID THAT IN EIGHTEEN FOURTEEN WHEN THE ENGLISH GOVERNMENT WENT FISHING ON ITS OWN BEHALF ITS DIVERS WORKED JUST TWENTY DAYS AND BROUGHT UP SEVENTY SIX MILLION OYSTERS


THE FISHERMEN ARE WELL PAID AREN'T THEY HARDLY PROFESSOR IN PANAMA THEY MAKE JUST ONE DOLLAR PER WEEK IN MOST PLACES THEY EARN ONLY A PENNY FOR EACH OYSTER THAT HAS A PEARL AND THEY BRING UP SO MANY THAT HAVE NONE


ONLY ONE PENNY TO THOSE POOR PEOPLE WHO MAKE THEIR EMPLOYERS RICH THAT'S ATROCIOUS ON THAT NOTE PROFESSOR CAPTAIN NEMO TOLD ME


AND IF BY CHANCE SOME EAGER FISHERMAN ARRIVES EARLY WELL WE CAN WATCH HIM AT WORK THAT SUITS ME CAPTAIN BY THE WAY PROFESSOR ARONNAX YOU AREN'T AFRAID OF SHARKS ARE YOU SHARKS I EXCLAIMED


THIS STRUCK ME AS A PRETTY NEEDLESS QUESTION TO SAY THE LEAST WELL CAPTAIN NEMO WENT ON I ADMIT CAPTAIN I'M NOT YET ON VERY FAMILIAR TERMS WITH THAT GENUS OF FISH WE'RE USED TO THEM


THE REST OF US CAPTAIN NEMO ANSWERED AND IN TIME YOU WILL BE TOO ANYHOW WE'LL BE ARMED AND ON OUR WAY WE MIGHT HUNT A MAN EATER OR TWO IT'S A FASCINATING SPORT SO PROFESSOR I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW


BRIGHT AND EARLY THIS SAID IN A CAREFREE TONE CAPTAIN NEMO LEFT THE LOUNGE IF YOU'RE INVITED TO HUNT BEARS IN THE SWISS MOUNTAINS YOU MIGHT SAY OH GOOD I GET TO GO BEAR HUNTING TOMORROW


IF YOU'RE INVITED TO HUNT LIONS ON THE ATLAS PLAINS OR TIGERS IN THE JUNGLES OF INDIA YOU MIGHT SAY HA NOW'S MY CHANCE TO HUNT LIONS AND TIGERS BUT IF YOU'RE INVITED TO HUNT SHARKS IN THEIR NATIVE ELEMENT


YOU MIGHT WANT TO THINK IT OVER BEFORE ACCEPTING AS FOR ME I PASSED A HAND OVER MY BROW WHERE BEADS OF COLD SWEAT WERE BUSY FORMING LET'S THINK THIS OVER I SAID TO MYSELF AND LET'S TAKE OUR TIME


HUNTING OTTERS IN UNDERWATER FORESTS AS WE DID IN THE FORESTS OF CRESPO ISLAND IS AN ACCEPTABLE ACTIVITY


THAT'S ANOTHER STORY I KNOW THAT IN CERTAIN COUNTRIES PARTICULARLY THE ANDAMAN ISLANDS NEGROES DON'T HESITATE TO ATTACK SHARKS DAGGER IN ONE HAND AND NOOSE IN THE OTHER


BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT MANY WHO FACE THOSE FEARSOME ANIMALS DON'T COME BACK ALIVE BESIDES I'M NOT A NEGRO AND EVEN IF I WERE A NEGRO IN THIS INSTANCE I DON'T THINK A LITTLE HESITATION ON MY PART WOULD BE OUT OF PLACE


AND THERE I WAS FANTASIZING ABOUT SHARKS ENVISIONING HUGE JAWS ARMED WITH MULTIPLE ROWS OF TEETH AND CAPABLE OF CUTTING A MAN IN HALF I COULD ALREADY FEEL A DEFINITE PAIN AROUND MY PELVIC GIRDLE


AND HOW I RESENTED THE OFFHAND MANNER IN WHICH THE CAPTAIN HAD EXTENDED HIS DEPLORABLE INVITATION


THANK HEAVENS I SAID TO MYSELF CONSEIL WILL NEVER WANT TO COME ALONG AND THAT'LL BE MY EXCUSE FOR NOT GOING WITH THE CAPTAIN AS FOR NED LAND I ADMIT I FELT LESS CONFIDENT OF HIS WISDOM


DANGER HOWEVER GREAT HELD A PERENNIAL ATTRACTION FOR HIS AGGRESSIVE NATURE I WENT BACK TO READING SIRR'S BOOK BUT I LEAFED THROUGH IT MECHANICALLY BETWEEN THE LINES I KEPT SEEING FEARSOME WIDE OPEN JAWS


JUST THEN CONSEIL AND THE CANADIAN ENTERED WITH A CALM EVEN GLEEFUL AIR LITTLE DID THEY KNOW WHAT WAS WAITING FOR THEM YE GODS SIR NED LAND TOLD ME YOUR CAPTAIN NEMO THE DEVIL TAKE HIM


HAS JUST MADE US A VERY PLEASANT PROPOSITION OH I SAID YOU KNOW ABOUT WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO MASTER CONSEIL REPLIED THE NAUTILUS'S COMMANDER HAS INVITED US TOGETHER WITH MASTER


FOR A VISIT TOMORROW TO CEYLON'S MAGNIFICENT PEARL FISHERIES HE DID SO IN THE MOST CORDIAL TERMS AND CONDUCTED HIMSELF LIKE A TRUE GENTLEMAN HE DIDN'T TELL YOU ANYTHING ELSE NOTHING SIR THE CANADIAN REPLIED


HE SAID YOU'D ALREADY DISCUSSED THIS LITTLE STROLL INDEED I SAID BUT DIDN'T HE GIVE YOU ANY DETAILS ON NOT A ONE MISTER NATURALIST YOU WILL BE GOING WITH US RIGHT ME


WHY YES CERTAINLY OF COURSE I CAN SEE THAT YOU LIKE THE IDEA MISTER LAND YES IT WILL BE A REALLY UNUSUAL EXPERIENCE AND POSSIBLY DANGEROUS I ADDED IN AN INSINUATING TONE


DANGEROUS NED LAND REPLIED A SIMPLE TRIP TO AN OYSTERBANK ASSUREDLY


FOR MY PART I STARED AT THEM WITH ANXIOUS EYES AS IF THEY WERE ALREADY MISSING A LIMB OR TWO SHOULD I ALERT THEM YES SURELY BUT I HARDLY KNEW HOW TO GO ABOUT IT WOULD MASTER


CONSEIL SAID TO ME GIVE US SOME BACKGROUND ON PEARL FISHING ON THE FISHING ITSELF I ASKED OR ON THE OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS THAT ON THE FISHING THE CANADIAN REPLIED BEFORE WE TACKLE THE TERRAIN IT HELPS TO BE FAMILIAR WITH IT


ALL RIGHT SIT DOWN MY FRIENDS


NED AND CONSEIL TOOK SEATS ON A COUCH AND RIGHT OFF THE CANADIAN SAID TO ME SIR JUST WHAT IS A PEARL EXACTLY MY GALLANT NED I REPLIED FOR POETS A PEARL IS A TEAR FROM THE SEA


FOR ORIENTALS IT'S A DROP OF SOLIDIFIED DEW FOR THE LADIES IT'S A JEWEL


NECKS AND EARS THAT'S OBLONG IN SHAPE GLASSY IN LUSTER AND FORMED FROM MOTHER OF PEARL FOR CHEMISTS IT'S A MIXTURE OF CALCIUM PHOSPHATE AND CALCIUM CARBONATE WITH A LITTLE GELATIN PROTEIN


AND FINALLY FOR NATURALISTS IT'S A SIMPLE FESTERING SECRETION FROM THE ORGAN THAT PRODUCES MOTHER OF PEARL IN CERTAIN BIVALVES BRANCH MOLLUSCA CONSEIL SAID CLASS


ACEPHALA ORDER TESTACEA CORRECT MY SCHOLARLY CONSEIL NOW THEN THOSE TESTACEA CAPABLE OF PRODUCING PEARLS INCLUDE RAINBOW ABALONE


TURBO SNAILS GIANT CLAMS AND SALTWATER SCALLOPS BRIEFLY ALL THOSE THAT SECRETE MOTHER OF PEARL IN OTHER WORDS THAT BLUE AZURE VIOLET OR WHITE SUBSTANCE


LINING THE INSIDES OF THEIR VALVES ARE MUSSELS INCLUDED TOO THE CANADIAN ASKED YES THE MUSSELS OF CERTAIN STREAMS IN SCOTLAND WALES IRELAND SAXONY BOHEMIA AND FRANCE


GOOD THE CANADIAN REPLIED FROM NOW ON WE'LL PAY CLOSER ATTENTION TO EM BUT I WENT ON FOR SECRETING PEARLS THE IDEAL MOLLUSK IS THE PEARL OYSTER MELEAGRINA MARGARITIFERA


THAT VALUABLE SHELLFISH PEARLS RESULT SIMPLY FROM MOTHER OF PEARL SOLIDIFYING INTO A GLOBULAR SHAPE EITHER THEY STICK TO THE OYSTER'S SHELL OR THEY BECOME EMBEDDED IN THE CREATURE'S FOLDS


ON THE VALVES A PEARL STICKS FAST ON THE FLESH IT LIES LOOSE BUT ITS NUCLEUS IS ALWAYS SOME SMALL HARD OBJECT SAY A STERILE EGG OR A GRAIN OF SAND


AROUND WHICH THE MOTHER OF PEARL IS DEPOSITED IN THIN CONCENTRIC LAYERS OVER SEVERAL YEARS IN SUCCESSION CAN ONE FIND SEVERAL PEARLS IN THE SAME OYSTER CONSEIL ASKED YES MY BOY


THEY EVEN MENTION ONE OYSTER ABOUT WHICH I REMAIN DUBIOUS


NED LAND YELPED DID I SAY SHARKS I EXCLAIMED HASTILY I MEANT ONE HUNDRED FIFTY PEARLS SHARKS WOULDN'T MAKE SENSE INDEED CONSEIL SAID


BUT WILL MASTER NOW TELL US HOW ONE GOES ABOUT EXTRACTING THESE PEARLS ONE PROCEEDS IN SEVERAL WAYS AND OFTEN WHEN PEARLS STICK TO THE VALVES FISHERMEN EVEN PULL THEM LOOSE WITH PLIERS


THUS THEY DIE IN THE OPEN AIR AND BY THE END OF TEN DAYS THEY'VE ROTTED SUFFICIENTLY NEXT THEY'RE IMMERSED IN HUGE TANKS OF SALT WATER THEN THEY'RE OPENED UP AND WASHED AT THIS POINT THE SORTERS BEGIN THEIR TWOFOLD TASK


FIRST THEY REMOVE THE LAYERS OF MOTHER OF PEARL WHICH ARE KNOWN IN THE INDUSTRY BY THE NAMES LEGITIMATE SILVER BASTARD WHITE OR BASTARD BLACK


THEN THEY REMOVE THE OYSTER'S MEATY TISSUE BOIL IT AND FINALLY STRAIN IT IN ORDER TO EXTRACT EVEN THE SMALLEST PEARLS DO THE PRICES OF THESE PEARLS DIFFER DEPENDING ON THEIR SIZE CONSEIL ASKED NOT ONLY ON THEIR SIZE I REPLIED


BUT ALSO ACCORDING TO THEIR SHAPE THEIR WATER IN OTHER WORDS THEIR COLOR AND THEIR ORIENT IN OTHER WORDS THAT DAPPLED SHIMMERING GLOW THAT MAKES THEM SO DELIGHTFUL TO THE EYE THE FINEST PEARLS ARE CALLED VIRGIN PEARLS OR PARAGONS


THEY FORM IN ISOLATION WITHIN THE MOLLUSK'S TISSUE THEY'RE WHITE OFTEN OPAQUE BUT SOMETIMES OF OPALESCENT TRANSPARENCY AND USUALLY SPHERICAL OR PEAR SHAPED THE SPHERICAL ONES ARE MADE INTO BRACELETS


THE PEAR SHAPED ONES INTO EARRINGS AND SINCE THEY'RE THE MOST VALUABLE THEY'RE PRICED INDIVIDUALLY THE OTHER PEARLS THAT STICK TO THE OYSTER'S SHELL ARE MORE ERRATICALLY SHAPED AND ARE PRICED BY WEIGHT FINALLY CLASSED IN THE LOWEST ORDER


THE SMALLEST PEARLS ARE KNOWN BY THE NAME SEED PEARLS THEY'RE PRICED BY THE MEASURING CUP AND ARE USED MAINLY IN THE CREATION OF EMBROIDERY FOR CHURCH VESTMENTS BUT IT MUST BE A LONG HARD JOB SORTING OUT THESE PEARLS BY SIZE


THE CANADIAN SAID NO MY FRIEND THAT TASK IS PERFORMED WITH ELEVEN STRAINERS OR SIEVES THAT ARE PIERCED WITH DIFFERENT NUMBERS OF HOLES THOSE PEARLS STAYING IN THE STRAINERS WITH TWENTY TO EIGHTY HOLES ARE IN THE FIRST ORDER


THOSE NOT SLIPPING THROUGH THE SIEVES PIERCED WITH ONE HUNDRED TO EIGHT HUNDRED HOLES ARE IN THE SECOND ORDER FINALLY THOSE PEARLS FOR WHICH ONE USES STRAINERS PIERCED WITH NINE HUNDRED TO ONE THOUSAND HOLES MAKE UP THE SEED PEARLS


HOW INGENIOUS CONSEIL SAID TO REDUCE DIVIDING AND CLASSIFYING PEARLS TO A MECHANICAL OPERATION AND COULD MASTER TELL US THE PROFITS BROUGHT IN BY HARVESTING THESE BANKS OF PEARL OYSTERS ACCORDING TO SIRR'S BOOK I REPLIED


THESE CEYLON FISHERIES ARE FARMED ANNUALLY FOR A TOTAL PROFIT OF THREE MILLION MAN EATERS FRANCS CONSEIL REBUKED YES FRANCS THREE MILLION FRANCS I WENT ON


BUT I DON'T THINK THESE FISHERIES BRING IN THE RETURNS THEY ONCE DID SIMILARLY THE CENTRAL AMERICAN FISHERIES


BUT NOW THEY BRING IN ONLY TWO THIRDS OF THAT AMOUNT ALL IN ALL IT'S ESTIMATED THAT NINE MILLION FRANCS IS THE CURRENT YEARLY RETURN FOR THE WHOLE PEARL HARVESTING INDUSTRY BUT CONSEIL ASKED


HAVEN'T CERTAIN FAMOUS PEARLS BEEN QUOTED AT EXTREMELY HIGH PRICES YES MY BOY


I'VE EVEN HEARD STORIES THE CANADIAN SAID ABOUT SOME LADY IN ANCIENT TIMES WHO DRANK PEARLS IN VINEGAR CLEOPATRA CONSEIL SHOT BACK IT MUST HAVE TASTED PRETTY BAD NED LAND ADDED ABOMINABLE NED MY FRIEND


CONSEIL REPLIED BUT WHEN A LITTLE GLASS OF VINEGAR IS WORTH ONE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND FRANCS ITS TASTE IS A SMALL PRICE TO PAY


NED LAND MARRIED TO CLEOPATRA CONSEIL EXCLAIMED BUT I WAS ALL SET TO TIE THE KNOT CONSEIL THE CANADIAN REPLIED IN ALL SERIOUSNESS


I EVEN BOUGHT A PEARL NECKLACE FOR MY FIANCEE KATE TENDER BUT SHE MARRIED SOMEBODY ELSE INSTEAD


BUT YOU CAN ABSOLUTELY TRUST ME ON THIS PROFESSOR ITS PEARLS WERE SO BIG


MY GALLANT NED I REPLIED LAUGHING THOSE WERE ARTIFICIAL PEARLS ORDINARY GLASS BEADS WHOSE INSIDES WERE COATED WITH ESSENCE OF ORIENT WOW


THAT ESSENCE OF ORIENT MUST SELL FOR QUITE A LARGE SUM AS LITTLE AS ZERO IT COMES FROM THE SCALES OF A EUROPEAN CARP IT'S NOTHING MORE THAN A SILVER SUBSTANCE THAT COLLECTS IN THE WATER AND IS PRESERVED IN AMMONIA IT'S WORTHLESS


MAYBE THAT'S WHY KATE TENDER MARRIED SOMEBODY ELSE REPLIED MISTER LAND PHILOSOPHICALLY BUT I SAID GETTING BACK TO PEARLS OF GREAT VALUE I DON'T THINK ANY SOVEREIGN EVER POSSESSED ONE SUPERIOR TO THE PEARL OWNED BY CAPTAIN NEMO


THIS ONE CONSEIL SAID POINTING TO A MAGNIFICENT JEWEL IN ITS GLASS CASE EXACTLY AND I'M CERTAINLY NOT FAR OFF WHEN I ESTIMATE ITS VALUE AT TWO MILLION UH FRANCS


CONSEIL SAID QUICKLY YES I SAID TWO MILLION FRANCS AND NO DOUBT ALL IT COST OUR CAPTAIN WAS THE EFFORT TO PICK IT UP HA NED LAND EXCLAIMED DURING OUR STROLL TOMORROW WHO SAYS WE WON'T RUN INTO ONE JUST LIKE IT


CONSEIL PUT IN AND WHY NOT WHAT GOOD WOULD A PEARL WORTH MILLIONS DO US HERE ON THE NAUTILUS HERE NO NED LAND SAID BUT ELSEWHERE OH ELSEWHERE CONSEIL PUT IN


SHAKING HIS HEAD IN FACT I SAID MISTER LAND IS RIGHT AND IF WE EVER BROUGHT BACK TO EUROPE OR AMERICA A PEARL WORTH MILLIONS IT WOULD MAKE THE STORY OF OUR ADVENTURES MORE AUTHENTIC AND MUCH MORE REWARDING THAT'S HOW I SEE IT


THE CANADIAN SAID BUT SAID CONSEIL WHO PERPETUALLY RETURNED TO THE DIDACTIC SIDE OF THINGS IS THIS PEARL FISHING EVER DANGEROUS NO I REPLIED QUICKLY ESPECIALLY IF ONE TAKES CERTAIN PRECAUTIONS


WHAT RISKS WOULD YOU RUN IN A JOB LIKE THAT NED LAND SAID SWALLOWING A FEW GULPS OF SALT WATER WHATEVER YOU SAY NED THEN TRYING TO IMITATE CAPTAIN NEMO'S CAREFREE TONE I ASKED


BY THE WAY GALLANT NED ARE YOU AFRAID OF SHARKS


THE CANADIAN REPLIED I'M A PROFESSIONAL HARPOONER IT'S MY JOB TO MAKE A MOCKERY OF THEM IT ISN'T AN ISSUE I SAID OF FISHING FOR THEM WITH A SWIVEL HOOK HOISTING THEM ONTO THE DECK OF A SHIP


OPENING THE BELLY RIPPING OUT THE HEART AND TOSSING IT INTO THE SEA SO IT'S AN ISSUE OF YES PRECISELY IN THE WATER IN THE WATER YE GODS JUST GIVE ME A GOOD HARPOON


YOU SEE SIR THESE SHARKS ARE BADLY DESIGNED THEY HAVE TO ROLL THEIR BELLIES OVER TO SNAP YOU UP AND IN THE MEANTIME NED LAND HAD A WAY OF PRONOUNCING THE WORD SNAP


WELL HOW ABOUT YOU CONSEIL WHAT ARE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT THESE MAN EATERS ME CONSEIL SAID I'M AFRAID I MUST BE FRANK WITH MASTER GOOD FOR YOU I THOUGHT


CHAPTER FOUR I AM BY NO MEANS SURE THAT IF THE GOOD PEOPLE OF MILBY HAD KNOWN THE TRUTH ABOUT THE COUNTESS CZERLASKI THEY WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN CONSIDERABLY DISAPPOINTED TO FIND THAT IT WAS VERY FAR FROM BEING AS BAD AS THEY IMAGINED


NICE DISTINCTIONS ARE TROUBLESOME IT IS SO MUCH EASIER TO SAY THAT A THING IS BLACK THAN TO DISCRIMINATE THE PARTICULAR SHADE OF BROWN BLUE OR GREEN TO WHICH IT REALLY BELONGS


BESIDES THINK OF ALL THE VIRTUOUS DECLAMATION ALL THE PENETRATING OBSERVATION WHICH HAD BEEN BUILT UP ENTIRELY ON THE FUNDAMENTAL POSITION THAT THE COUNTESS WAS A VERY OBJECTIONABLE PERSON INDEED


AND WHICH WOULD BE UTTERLY OVERTURNED AND NULLIFIED BY THE DESTRUCTION OF THAT PREMISS MISSUS PHIPPS THE BANKER'S WIFE AND MISSUS LANDOR THE ATTORNEY'S WIFE HAD INVESTED PART OF THEIR REPUTATION FOR ACUTENESS


HAD NO COMPENSATING SUPERIORITY IN VIRTUE TO SET AGAINST THE OTHER LADY'S MANIFEST SUPERIORITY IN PERSONAL CHARMS MISS PHIPPS'S STUMPY FIGURE AND UNSUCCESSFUL ATTIRE


INSTEAD OF LOOKING DOWN FROM A MOUNT OF VIRTUE WITH AN AUREOLE ROUND ITS HEAD WOULD THEN BE SEEN ON THE SAME LEVEL AND IN THE SAME LIGHT AS THE COUNTESS CZERLASKI'S DIANA LIKE FORM AND WELL CHOSEN DRAPERY


MISS PHIPPS FOR HER PART DIDN'T LIKE DRESSING FOR EFFECT SHE HAD ALWAYS AVOIDED THAT STYLE OF APPEARANCE WHICH WAS CALCULATED TO CREATE A SENSATION


THEN WHAT AMUSING INNUENDOES OF THE MILBY GENTLEMEN OVER THEIR WINE WOULD HAVE BEEN ENTIRELY FRUSTRATED AND REDUCED TO NOUGHT IF YOU HAD TOLD THEM THAT THE COUNTESS HAD REALLY BEEN GUILTY OF NO MISDEMEANOURS WHICH DEMANDED HER EXCLUSION FROM STRICTLY RESPECTABLE SOCIETY


HAD SUBSEQUENTLY GIVEN DANCING LESSONS IN THE METROPOLIS THAT MISTER BRIDMAIN WAS NEITHER MORE NOR LESS THAN HER HALF BROTHER WHO BY UNIMPEACHED INTEGRITY AND INDUSTRY


HAD WON A PARTNERSHIP IN A SILK MANUFACTORY AND THEREBY A MODERATE FORTUNE THAT ENABLED HIM TO RETIRE AS YOU SEE TO STUDY POLITICS THE WEATHER AND THE ART OF CONVERSATION AT HIS LEISURE


MISTER BRIDMAIN IN FACT QUADRAGENARIAN BACHELOR AS HE WAS FELT EXTREMELY WELL PLEASED TO RECEIVE HIS SISTER IN HER WIDOWHOOD AND TO SHINE IN THE REFLECTED LIGHT OF HER BEAUTY AND TITLE


EVERY MAN WHO IS NOT A MONSTER A MATHEMATICIAN OR A MAD PHILOSOPHER IS THE SLAVE OF SOME WOMAN OR OTHER MISTER BRIDMAIN HAD PUT HIS NECK UNDER THE YOKE OF HIS HANDSOME SISTER AND THOUGH HIS SOUL WAS A VERY LITTLE ONE


OF THE SMALLEST DESCRIPTION INDEED HE WOULD NOT HAVE VENTURED TO CALL IT HIS OWN HE MIGHT BE SLIGHTLY RECALCITRANT NOW AND THEN AS IS THE HABIT OF LONG EARED PACHYDERMS UNDER THE THONG OF THE FAIR COUNTESS'S TONGUE


AND THERE WAS ALWAYS THE POSSIBILITY THAT MISTER BRIDMAIN'S FIRST NUPTIALS MIGHT OCCUR BEFORE THE COUNTESS WAS QUITE SURE OF HER SECOND AS IT WAS HOWEVER HE SUBMITTED TO ALL HIS SISTER'S CAPRICES


AS PERSONAGES ON THE DEBATABLE GROUND BETWEEN ARISTOCRACY AND COMMONALTY INSTEAD OF SETTLING IN SOME SPOT WHERE HIS FIVE HUNDRED A YEAR MIGHT HAVE WON HIM THE DEFINITE DIGNITY OF A PAROCHIAL MAGNATE


WHOM HE INITIATED INTO THE MYSTERIES OF THE PAS DE BAS AND THE LANCERS QUADRILLES SHE HAD HAD SEVEN YEARS OF SUFFICIENTLY HAPPY MATRIMONY WITH CZERLASKI WHO HAD TAKEN HER TO PARIS AND GERMANY


NOT INDEED ANY VERY RIPE AND COMPREHENSIVE WISDOM BUT MUCH EXTERNAL POLISH AND CERTAIN PRACTICAL CONCLUSIONS OF A VERY DECIDED KIND


ONE OF THESE CONCLUSIONS WAS THAT THERE WERE THINGS MORE SOLID IN LIFE THAN FINE WHISKERS AND A TITLE AND THAT IN ACCEPTING A SECOND HUSBAND


WAS DIFFICULT TO BE MET WITH AT WATERING PLACES WHICH WERE ALREADY PREOCCUPIED WITH ABUNDANCE OF ANGLING BEAUTIES AND WERE CHIEFLY STOCKED WITH MEN WHOSE WHISKERS MIGHT BE DYED AND WHOSE INCOMES WERE STILL MORE PROBLEMATIC


SO SHE HAD DETERMINED ON TRYING A NEIGHBOURHOOD WHERE PEOPLE WERE EXTREMELY WELL ACQUAINTED WITH EACH OTHER'S AFFAIRS AND WHERE THE WOMEN WERE MOSTLY ILL DRESSED AND UGLY


AND GIVE HIM AT LEAST A SORT OF COUSINSHIP TO THE QUARTER SESSIONS ALL THIS WHICH WAS THE SIMPLE TRUTH WOULD HAVE SEEMED EXTREMELY FLAT TO THE GOSSIPS OF MILBY WHO HAD MADE UP THEIR MINDS TO SOMETHING MUCH MORE EXCITING


THERE WAS NOTHING HERE SO VERY DETESTABLE IT IS TRUE THE COUNTESS WAS A LITTLE VAIN A LITTLE AMBITIOUS A LITTLE SELFISH A LITTLE SHALLOW AND FRIVOLOUS A LITTLE GIVEN TO WHITE LIES BUT


WHO CONSIDERS SUCH SLIGHT BLEMISHES SUCH MORAL PIMPLES AS THESE DISQUALIFICATIONS FOR ENTERING INTO THE MOST RESPECTABLE SOCIETY INDEED


THE SEVEREST LADIES IN MILBY WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECTLY AWARE THAT THESE CHARACTERISTICS WOULD HAVE CREATED NO WIDE DISTINCTION BETWEEN THE COUNTESS CZERLASKI AND THEMSELVES AND SINCE IT WAS CLEAR THERE WAS A WIDE DISTINCTION


WHY IT MUST LIE IN THE POSSESSION OF SOME VICES FROM WHICH THEY WERE UNDENIABLY FREE HENCE IT CAME TO PASS THAT MILBY RESPECTABILITY REFUSED TO RECOGNIZE THE COUNTESS CZERLASKI


IN SPITE OF HER ASSIDUOUS CHURCH GOING AND THE DEEP DISGUST SHE WAS KNOWN TO HAVE EXPRESSED AT THE EXTREME PAUCITY OF THE CONGREGATIONS ON ASH WEDNESDAYS


SO SHE BEGAN TO FEEL THAT SHE HAD MISCALCULATED THE ADVANTAGES OF A NEIGHBOURHOOD WHERE PEOPLE ARE WELL ACQUAINTED WITH EACH OTHER'S PRIVATE AFFAIRS


AND SHUNS A COLDLY SATIRICAL EYE AS SHE WOULD SHUN A GORGON AND SHE WAS ESPECIALLY EAGER FOR CLERICAL NOTICE AND FRIENDSHIP NOT MERELY BECAUSE THAT IS QUITE THE MOST RESPECTABLE COUNTENANCE TO BE OBTAINED IN SOCIETY


AND HAD AN UNEASY SENSE THAT SHE WAS NOT ALTOGETHER SAFE IN THAT QUARTER SHE HAD SERIOUS INTENTIONS OF BECOMING QUITE PIOUS WITHOUT ANY RESERVES WHEN SHE HAD ONCE GOT HER CARRIAGE AND SETTLEMENT


THE COUNTESS DID NOT QUOTE SOPHOCLES BUT SHE SAID TO HERSELF ONLY THIS LITTLE BIT OF PRETENCE AND VANITY AND THEN I WILL BE QUITE GOOD AND MAKE MYSELF QUITE SAFE FOR ANOTHER WORLD


FOR YOU HAVE ALREADY PERCEIVED THAT THERE WAS ONE BEING TO WHOM THE COUNTESS WAS ABSORBINGLY DEVOTED AND TO WHOSE DESIRES SHE MADE EVERYTHING ELSE SUBSERVIENT NAMELY CAROLINE CZERLASKI NEE BRIDMAIN


THUS THERE WAS REALLY NOT MUCH AFFECTATION IN HER SWEET SPEECHES AND ATTENTIONS TO MISTER AND MISSUS BARTON


STILL THEIR FRIENDSHIP BY NO MEANS ADEQUATELY REPRESENTED THE OBJECT SHE HAD IN VIEW WHEN SHE CAME TO MILBY AND IT HAD BEEN FOR SOME TIME CLEAR TO HER THAT SHE MUST SUGGEST A NEW CHANGE OF RESIDENCE TO HER BROTHER


MY FATHER HAD SUCH A SKIRMISHING CUTTING KIND OF A SLASHING WAY WITH HIM IN HIS DISPUTATIONS THRUSTING AND RIPPING AND GIVING EVERY ONE A STROKE TO REMEMBER HIM BY IN HIS TURN


FOR THAT THE TAYLOR IN RIPPING THEM UP IN ORDER TO TURN THEM HAD FOUND THEY HAD BEEN TURN'D BEFORE THEN TURN THEM AGAIN BROTHER SAID MY FATHER RAPIDLY FOR THERE WILL BE MANY A TURNING OF EM YET BEFORE ALL'S DONE IN THE AFFAIR


THEY ARE AS ROTTEN AS DIRT SAID THE CORPORAL THEN BY ALL MEANS SAID MY FATHER BESPEAK A NEW PAIR BROTHER FOR THOUGH I KNOW CONTINUED MY FATHER TURNING HIMSELF TO THE COMPANY


THAT WIDOW WADMAN HAS BEEN DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH MY BROTHER TOBY FOR MANY YEARS AND HAS USED EVERY ART AND CIRCUMVENTION OF WOMAN TO OUTWIT HIM INTO THE SAME PASSION YET NOW THAT SHE HAS CAUGHT HIM HER FEVER WILL BE PASS'D ITS HEIGHT


INTO A CORPS NO MATTER WHETHER HE LOVES THE SERVICE OR NO BEING ONCE IN IT HE ACTS AS IF HE DID AND TAKES EVERY STEP TO SHEW HIMSELF A MAN OF PROWESSE


THE HYPOTHESIS LIKE THE REST OF MY FATHER'S WAS PLAUSIBLE ENOUGH AND MY UNCLE TOBY HAD BUT A SINGLE WORD TO OBJECT TO IT IN WHICH TRIM STOOD READY TO SECOND HIM BUT MY FATHER HAD NOT DRAWN HIS CONCLUSION


FOR THIS REASON CONTINUED MY FATHER STATING THE CASE OVER AGAIN NOTWITHSTANDING ALL THE WORLD KNOWS THAT MISSUS WADMAN AFFECTS MY BROTHER TOBY AND MY BROTHER TOBY CONTRARIWISE AFFECTS MISSUS WADMAN


AND NO OBSTACLE IN NATURE TO FORBID THE MUSIC STRIKING UP THIS VERY NIGHT YET WILL I ANSWER FOR IT THAT THIS SELF SAME TUNE WILL NOT BE PLAY'D THIS TWELVEMONTH


WE HAVE TAKEN OUR MEASURES BADLY QUOTH MY UNCLE TOBY LOOKING UP INTERROGATIVELY IN TRIM'S FACE I WOULD LAY MY MONTERO CAP SAID TRIM


NOW TRIM'S MONTERO CAP AS I ONCE TOLD YOU WAS HIS CONSTANT WAGER AND HAVING FURBISH'D IT UP THAT VERY NIGHT IN ORDER TO GO UPON THE ATTACK IT MADE THE ODDS LOOK MORE CONSIDERABLE


I WOULD LAY AN PLEASE YOUR HONOUR MY MONTERO CAP TO A SHILLING WAS IT PROPER CONTINUED TRIM MAKING A BOW TO OFFER A WAGER BEFORE YOUR HONOURS THERE IS NOTHING IMPROPER IN IT SAID MY FATHER


THAT WIDOW WADMAN AN PLEASE YOUR WORSHIP CANNOT HOLD IT OUT TEN DAYS AND WHENCE CRIED SLOP JEERINGLY HAST THOU ALL THIS KNOWLEDGE OF WOMAN FRIEND


BY FALLING IN LOVE WITH A POPISH CLERGY WOMAN SAID TRIM TWAS A BEGUINE SAID MY UNCLE TOBY DOCTOR SLOP WAS TOO MUCH IN WRATH TO LISTEN TO THE DISTINCTION


AND MY FATHER TAKING THAT VERY CRISIS TO FALL IN HELTER SKELTER UPON THE WHOLE ORDER OF NUNS AND BEGUINES A SET OF SILLY FUSTY BAGGAGES SLOP COULD NOT STAND IT AND MY UNCLE TOBY HAVING SOME MEASURES TO TAKE ABOUT HIS BREECHES


AND PERHAPS IT IS AS WELL FOR THEE THO NOT SO WELL FOR ME THAT THOU HAST OCCASION FOR A LETTER OF INSTRUCTIONS UPON THAT HEAD AND THAT I AM ABLE TO WRITE IT TO THEE HAD IT BEEN THE GOOD PLEASURE OF HIM WHO DISPOSES OF OUR LOTS


MISSUS SHANDY BEING NOW CLOSE BESIDE ME PREPARING FOR BED I HAVE THROWN TOGETHER WITHOUT ORDER AND JUST AS THEY HAVE COME INTO MY MIND SUCH HINTS AND DOCUMENTS AS I DEEM MAY BE OF USE TO THEE


THOUGH I PERCEIVE FROM A GLOW IN MY CHEEK THAT I BLUSH AS I BEGIN TO SPEAK TO THEE UPON THE SUBJECT AS WELL KNOWING NOTWITHSTANDING THY UNAFFECTED SECRECY HOW FEW OF ITS OFFICES THOU NEGLECTEST


YET I WOULD REMIND THEE OF ONE DURING THE CONTINUANCE OF THY COURTSHIP IN A PARTICULAR MANNER WHICH I WOULD NOT HAVE OMITTED AND THAT IS NEVER TO GO FORTH UPON THE ENTERPRIZE WHETHER IT BE IN THE MORNING OR THE AFTERNOON


WITHOUT FIRST RECOMMENDING THYSELF TO THE PROTECTION OF ALMIGHTY GOD THAT HE MAY DEFEND THEE FROM THE EVIL ONE SHAVE THE WHOLE TOP OF THY CROWN CLEAN


ONCE AT LEAST EVERY FOUR OR FIVE DAYS BUT OFTNER IF CONVENIENT LEST IN TAKING OFF THY WIG BEFORE HER THRO ABSENCE OF MIND SHE SHOULD BE ABLE TO DISCOVER HOW MUCH HAS BEEN CUT AWAY BY TIME HOW MUCH BY TRIM


WHATEVER THOU HAST TO SAY BE IT MORE OR LESS FORGET NOT TO UTTER IT IN A LOW SOFT TONE OF VOICE SILENCE AND WHATEVER APPROACHES IT WEAVES DREAMS OF MIDNIGHT SECRECY INTO THE BRAIN


FOR THIS CAUSE IF THOU CANST HELP IT NEVER THROW DOWN THE TONGS AND POKER AVOID ALL KINDS OF PLEASANTRY AND FACETIOUSNESS IN THY DISCOURSE WITH HER


THEY ARE ALL BOOKS WHICH EXCITE LAUGHTER AND THOU KNOWEST DEAR TOBY THAT THERE IS NO PASSION SO SERIOUS AS LUST STICK A PIN IN THE BOSOM OF THY SHIRT BEFORE THOU ENTEREST HER PARLOUR


THERE IS NOTHING FURTHER FOR THEE WHICH OCCURS TO ME AT PRESENT UNLESS THE BREAKING OUT OF A FRESH WAR SO WISHING EVERY THING DEAR TOBY FOR BEST I REST THY AFFECTIONATE BROTHER WALTER SHANDY


WHILST MY FATHER WAS WRITING HIS LETTER OF INSTRUCTIONS MY UNCLE TOBY AND THE CORPORAL WERE BUSY IN PREPARING EVERY THING FOR THE ATTACK AS THE TURNING OF THE THIN SCARLET BREECHES WAS LAID ASIDE AT LEAST FOR THE PRESENT


THERE WAS NOTHING WHICH SHOULD PUT IT OFF BEYOND THE NEXT MORNING SO ACCORDINGLY IT WAS RESOLV'D UPON FOR ELEVEN O'CLOCK


BUT THE ACCOUNT OF THIS IS WORTH MORE THAN TO BE WOVE INTO THE FAG END OF THE EIGHTH ALLUDING TO THE FIRST EDITION VOLUME OF SUCH A WORK AS THIS


S'DEATH CRIED MY GREAT GRANDFATHER CLAPPING HIS HAND UPON HIS NOSE


NOW MY GREAT GRANDFATHER'S NOSE WAS FOR ALL THE WORLD LIKE UNTO THE NOSES OF ALL THE MEN WOMEN AND CHILDREN WHOM PANTAGRUEL FOUND DWELLING UPON THE ISLAND OF ENNASIN


BY THE WAY IF YOU WOULD KNOW THE STRANGE WAY OF GETTING A KIN AMONGST SO FLAT NOSED A PEOPLE YOU MUST READ THE BOOK FIND IT OUT YOURSELF YOU NEVER CAN


YOU MUST MEAN YOUR UNCLE'S REPLIED MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER MY GREAT GRANDFATHER WAS CONVINCED HE UNTWISTED THE PAPER AND SIGNED THE ARTICLE


SO THAT MY FATHER HAD THE JOINTURE TO PAY A HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS HALF YEARLY ON MICHAELMAS AND LADY DAY DURING ALL THAT TIME NO MAN DISCHARGED PECUNIARY OBLIGATIONS WITH A BETTER GRACE THAN MY FATHER


AS SOON AS EVER HE ENTER'D UPON THE ODD FIFTY HE GENERALLY GAVE A LOUD HEM


INSERTED HIS HAND CAUTIOUSLY BETWIXT HIS HEAD AND THE CAWL OF HIS WIG LOOK'D AT BOTH SIDES OF EVERY GUINEA AS HE PARTED WITH IT AND SELDOM COULD GET TO THE END OF THE FIFTY POUNDS WITHOUT PULLING OUT HIS HANDKERCHIEF AND WIPING HIS TEMPLES


AND FEEL PITY FOR THE FORCE OF EDUCATION AND THE PREVALENCE OF OPINIONS LONG DERIVED FROM ANCESTORS FOR THREE GENERATIONS AT LEAST THIS TENET IN FAVOUR OF LONG NOSES


SO THAT THE WHIMSICALITY OF MY FATHER'S BRAIN WAS FAR FROM HAVING THE WHOLE HONOUR OF THIS AS IT HAD OF ALMOST ALL HIS OTHER STRANGE NOTIONS FOR IN A GREAT MEASURE HE MIGHT BE SAID TO HAVE SUCK'D THIS IN WITH HIS MOTHER'S MILK


THAT HE DID NOT CONCEIVE HOW THE GREATEST FAMILY IN ENGLAND COULD STAND IT OUT AGAINST AN UNINTERRUPTED SUCCESSION OF SIX OR SEVEN SHORT NOSES AND FOR THE CONTRARY REASON HE WOULD GENERALLY ADD


THAT IT MUST BE ONE OF THE GREATEST PROBLEMS IN CIVIL LIFE WHERE THE SAME NUMBER OF LONG AND JOLLY NOSES FOLLOWING ONE ANOTHER IN A DIRECT LINE


I MEAN THE EXTERNAL ORGAN OF SMELLING OR THAT PART OF MAN WHICH STANDS PROMINENT IN HIS FACE AND WHICH PAINTERS SAY IN GOOD JOLLY NOSES AND WELL PROPORTIONED FACES SHOULD COMPREHEND A FULL THIRD THAT IS MEASURED DOWNWARDS FROM THE SETTING ON OF THE HAIR


DID HE READ SUCH BOOKS AND OBSERVE SUCH FACTS AND THINK SUCH THOUGHTS AS WOULD ETERNALLY BE MAKING HIM CHANGE SIDES NOW MY FATHER AS I TOLD YOU LAST YEAR DETESTED ALL THIS HE PICK'D UP AN OPINION SIR


AS A MAN IN A STATE OF NATURE PICKS UP AN APPLE IT BECOMES HIS OWN AND IF HE IS A MAN OF SPIRIT HE WOULD LOSE HIS LIFE RATHER THAN GIVE IT UP


THE APPLE IS AS MUCH FRANK'S APPLE AS JOHN'S PRAY MISTER SHANDY WHAT PATENT HAS HE TO SHEW FOR IT AND HOW DID IT BEGIN TO BE HIS WAS IT WHEN HE SET HIS HEART UPON IT OR WHEN HE GATHERED IT


OR WHEN HE CHEW'D IT OR WHEN HE ROASTED IT OR WHEN HE PEEL'D OR WHEN HE BROUGHT IT HOME OR WHEN HE DIGESTED OR WHEN HE FOR TIS PLAIN SIR IF THE FIRST PICKING UP OF THE APPLE MADE IT NOT HIS THAT NO SUBSEQUENT ACT COULD


BROTHER DIDIUS TRIBONIUS WILL ANSWER NOW TRIBONIUS THE CIVILIAN AND CHURCH LAWYER'S BEARD BEING THREE INCHES AND A HALF AND THREE EIGHTHS LONGER THAN DIDIUS HIS BEARD


THAT THE SWEAT OF A MAN'S BROWS AND THE EXSUDATIONS OF A MAN'S BRAINS ARE AS MUCH A MAN'S OWN PROPERTY AS THE BREECHES UPON HIS BACKSIDE


THEY HAD COST HIM MOREOVER AS MUCH LABOUR IN COOKING AND DIGESTING AS IN THE CASE ABOVE SO THAT THEY MIGHT WELL AND TRULY BE SAID TO BE OF HIS OWN GOODS AND CHATTELS ACCORDINGLY HE HELD FAST BY EM BOTH BY TEETH AND CLAWS


WOULD FLY TO WHATEVER HE COULD LAY HIS HANDS ON AND IN A WORD WOULD INTRENCH AND FORTIFY THEM ROUND WITH AS MANY CIRCUMVALLATIONS AND BREAST WORKS AS MY UNCLE TOBY WOULD A CITADEL


BY THE TROTTING OF MY LEAN HORSE THE THING IS INCREDIBLE AND I AM QUITE LOST IN MY UNDERSTANDING WHEN I AM CONSIDERING WHAT A TREASURE OF PRECIOUS TIME AND TALENTS TOGETHER HAS BEEN WASTED UPON WORSE SUBJECTS


WHAT WAS TO BE HAD HOWEVER HE SET THE GREATER STORE BY AND THOUGH MY FATHER WOULD OFT TIMES SPORT WITH MY UNCLE TOBY'S LIBRARY WHICH BY THE BYE WAS RIDICULOUS ENOUGH


BUT THAT WAS NOT THY TRANSGRESSION MY DEAR UNCLE HERE BUT WHY HERE RATHER THAN IN ANY OTHER PART OF MY STORY I AM NOT ABLE TO TELL BUT HERE IT IS MY HEART STOPS ME


WHILST I AM POURING FORTH THE WARMEST SENTIMENT OF LOVE FOR THEE AND VENERATION FOR THE EXCELLENCY OF THY CHARACTER THAT EVER VIRTUE AND NATURE KINDLED IN A NEPHEW'S BOSOM


DEVOUREDST NO MAN'S BREAD GENTLY WITH FAITHFUL TRIM BEHIND THEE DIDST THOU AMBLE ROUND THE LITTLE CIRCLE OF THY PLEASURES JOSTLING NO CREATURE IN THY WAY FOR EACH ONE'S SORROWS THOU HADST A TEAR


FOR EACH MAN'S NEED THOU HADST A SHILLING WHILST I AM WORTH ONE TO PAY A WEEDER THY PATH FROM THY DOOR TO THY BOWLING GREEN SHALL NEVER BE GROWN UP


COULD HAVE VENTED SUCH AN INSINUATION HE WAS HOWEVER FRANK AND GENEROUS IN HIS NATURE AND AT ALL TIMES OPEN TO CONVICTION SO THAT HE HAD SCARCE GOT TO THE LAST WORD OF THIS UNGRACIOUS RETORT


WHEN HIS CONSCIENCE SMOTE HIM MY MOTHER WAS THEN CONJUGALLY SWINGING WITH HER LEFT ARM TWISTED UNDER HIS RIGHT IN SUCH WISE THAT THE INSIDE OF HER HAND RESTED UPON THE BACK OF HIS


SHE RAISED HER FINGERS AND LET THEM FALL IT COULD SCARCE BE CALL'D A TAP OR IF IT WAS A TAP


WHETHER TWAS A TAP OF REMONSTRANCE OR A TAP OF CONFESSION MY FATHER WHO WAS ALL SENSIBILITIES FROM HEAD TO FOOT


CONSCIENCE REDOUBLED HER BLOW HE TURN'D HIS FACE SUDDENLY THE OTHER WAY AND MY MOTHER SUPPOSING HIS BODY WAS ABOUT TO TURN WITH IT IN ORDER TO MOVE HOMEWARDS BY A CROSS MOVEMENT OF HER RIGHT LEG


A THIN BLUE CHILL PELLUCID CHRYSTAL WITH ALL ITS HUMOURS SO AT REST THE LEAST MOTE OR SPECK OF DESIRE MIGHT HAVE BEEN SEEN AT THE BOTTOM OF IT HAD IT EXISTED


MY MOTHER MADAM WAS SO AT NO TIME EITHER BY NATURE BY INSTITUTION OR EXAMPLE A TEMPERATE CURRENT OF BLOOD RAN ORDERLY THROUGH HER VEINS IN ALL MONTHS OF THE YEAR


WHICH HAVING LITTLE OR NO MEANING IN THEM NATURE IS OFT TIMES OBLIGED TO FIND ONE AND AS FOR MY FATHER'S EXAMPLE TWAS SO FAR FROM BEING EITHER AIDING OR ABETTING THEREUNTO


THAT TWAS THE WHOLE BUSINESS OF HIS LIFE TO KEEP ALL FANCIES OF THAT KIND OUT OF HER HEAD NATURE HAD DONE HER PART TO HAVE SPARED HIM THIS TROUBLE AND WHAT WAS NOT A LITTLE INCONSISTENT MY FATHER KNEW IT


AND HERE AM I SITTING THIS TWELFTH DAY OF AUGUST SEVENTEEN SIXTY SIX IN A PURPLE JERKIN AND YELLOW PAIR OF SLIPPERS WITHOUT EITHER WIG OR CAP ON A MOST TRAGICOMICAL COMPLETION OF HIS PREDICTION


FOR CERTAINLY KEY HOLES WERE MADE FOR OTHER PURPOSES AND CONSIDERING THE ACT AS AN ACT WHICH INTERFERED WITH A TRUE PROPOSITION AND DENIED A KEY HOLE TO BE WHAT IT WAS


IT BECAME A VIOLATION OF NATURE AND WAS SO FAR YOU SEE CRIMINAL IT IS FOR THIS REASON AN PLEASE YOUR REVERENCES THAT KEY HOLES ARE THE OCCASIONS OF MORE SIN AND WICKEDNESS THAN ALL OTHER HOLES


THOUGH THE CORPORAL HAD BEEN AS GOOD AS HIS WORD IN PUTTING MY UNCLE TOBY'S GREAT RAMALLIE WIG INTO PIPES YET THE TIME WAS TOO SHORT TO PRODUCE ANY GREAT EFFECTS FROM IT IT HAD LAIN MANY YEARS SQUEEZED UP IN THE CORNER OF HIS OLD CAMPAIGN TRUNK


TWOULD HAVE COST HER LADYSHIP A SMILE IT CURL'D EVERY WHERE BUT WHERE THE CORPORAL WOULD HAVE IT AND WHERE A BUCKLE OR TWO IN HIS OPINION WOULD HAVE DONE IT HONOUR HE COULD AS SOON HAVE RAISED THE DEAD


SUCH IT WAS OR RATHER SUCH WOULD IT HAVE SEEM'D UPON ANY OTHER BROW BUT THE SWEET LOOK OF GOODNESS WHICH SAT UPON MY UNCLE TOBY'S ASSIMILATED EVERY THING AROUND IT SO SOVEREIGNLY TO ITSELF


AND NATURE HAD MOREOVER WROTE GENTLEMAN WITH SO FAIR A HAND IN EVERY LINE OF HIS COUNTENANCE THAT EVEN HIS TARNISH'D GOLD LACED HAT AND HUGE COCKADE OF FLIMSY TAFFETA BECAME HIM


IN A PERIOD OF FIFTEEN OR SIXTEEN YEARS SINCE THEY HAD BEEN MADE BY A TOTAL INACTIVITY IN MY UNCLE TOBY'S LIFE FOR HE SELDOM WENT FURTHER THAN THE BOWLING GREEN


AND TO SHORTEN ALL DESCRIPTION THEY SHONE SO BRIGHT AGAINST THE SUN THAT MORNING AND HAD SO METALLICK AND DOUGHTY AN AIR WITH THEM THAT HAD MY UNCLE TOBY THOUGHT OF ATTACKING IN ARMOUR NOTHING COULD HAVE SO WELL IMPOSED UPON HIS IMAGINATION


AND WITH HIS HAIR TUCK'D UP UNDER HIS MONTERO CAP WHICH HE HAD FURBISH'D UP FOR THE OCCASION


A WHIFF OF MILITARY PRIDE HAD PUFF'D OUT HIS SHIRT AT THE WRIST AND UPON THAT IN A BLACK LEATHER THONG CLIPP'D INTO A TASSEL BEYOND THE KNOT HUNG THE CORPORAL'S STICK MY UNCLE TOBY CARRIED HIS CANE


LIKE A PIKE IT LOOKS WELL AT LEAST QUOTH MY FATHER TO HIMSELF


MY UNCLE TOBY TURN'D HIS HEAD MORE THAN ONCE BEHIND HIM TO SEE HOW HE WAS SUPPORTED BY THE CORPORAL AND THE CORPORAL AS OFT AS HE DID IT GAVE A SLIGHT FLOURISH WITH HIS STICK


BUT NOT VAPOURINGLY AND WITH THE SWEETEST ACCENT OF MOST RESPECTFUL ENCOURAGEMENT BID HIS HONOUR NEVER FEAR NOW MY UNCLE TOBY DID FEAR AND GRIEVOUSLY TOO


INFINITE WAS HIS PITY NOR WOULD THE MOST COURTEOUS KNIGHT OF ROMANCE HAVE GONE FURTHER AT LEAST UPON ONE LEG TO HAVE WIPED AWAY A TEAR FROM A WOMAN'S EYE


AND YET EXCEPTING ONCE THAT HE WAS BEGUILED INTO IT BY MISSUS WADMAN HE HAD NEVER LOOKED STEDFASTLY INTO ONE AND WOULD OFTEN TELL MY FATHER IN THE SIMPLICITY OF HIS HEART


SHE CANNOT QUOTH MY UNCLE TOBY HALTING WHEN THEY HAD MARCH'D UP TO WITHIN TWENTY PACES OF MISSUS WADMAN'S DOOR SHE CANNOT CORPORAL TAKE IT AMISS


YOUR HONOUR REPLIED THE CORPORAL KNOWS OF TOM'S MISFORTUNES BUT THIS AFFAIR HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM ANY FURTHER THAN THIS


THAT IF TOM HAD NOT MARRIED THE WIDOW OR HAD IT PLEASED GOD AFTER THEIR MARRIAGE THAT THEY HAD BUT PUT PORK INTO THEIR SAUSAGES THE HONEST SOUL HAD NEVER BEEN TAKEN OUT OF HIS WARM BED AND DRAGG'D TO THE INQUISITION


WHEN ONCE A POOR CREATURE IS IN HE IS IN AN PLEASE YOUR HONOUR FOR EVER TIS VERY TRUE SAID MY UNCLE TOBY LOOKING GRAVELY AT MISSUS WADMAN'S HOUSE AS HE SPOKE NOTHING


SAID MY UNCLE TOBY MUSING WHILST A MAN IS FREE CRIED THE CORPORAL GIVING A FLOURISH WITH HIS STICK THUS


A THOUSAND OF MY FATHER'S MOST SUBTLE SYLLOGISMS COULD NOT HAVE SAID MORE FOR CELIBACY MY UNCLE TOBY LOOK'D EARNESTLY TOWARDS HIS COTTAGE AND HIS BOWLING GREEN


IN ALL THE MEADOW THERE WAS NOBODY WHO COULD TELL SUCH INTERESTING STORIES AS THE OLD TREE FROG EVEN THE GARTER SNAKE WHO HAD BEEN THERE THE LONGEST AND THE OLD CRICKET WHO HAD LIVED IN THE FARM YARD COULD TELL NO SUCH EXCITING TALES AS THE TREE FROG


ALL THE WONDERFUL THINGS OF WHICH HE TOLD HAD HAPPENED BEFORE HE CAME TO THE MEADOW


NONE OF HIS FRIENDS HAD KNOWN HIM THEN BUT HE WAS AN HONEST FELLOW AND THEY WERE SURE THAT EVERYTHING HE TOLD WAS TRUE BESIDES THEY MUST BE TRUE FOR HOW COULD A BODY EVER THINK OUT SUCH REMARKABLE TALES FROM HIS OWN HEAD


WHEN HE FIRST CAME TO HIS HOME BY THE ELM TREE HE WAS VERY THIN AND LOOKED AS THOUGH HE HAD BEEN SICK THE KATYDIDS WHO STAYED NEAR SAID THAT HE CROAKED IN HIS SLEEP AND THAT YOU KNOW IS NOT WHAT WELL AND HAPPY FROGS SHOULD DO


ONE DAY WHEN MANY OF THE MEADOW PEOPLE WERE GATHERED AROUND HIM HE TOLD THEM HIS STORY WHEN I WAS A LITTLE FELLOW HE SAID I WAS STRONG AND WELL AND COULD LEAP FARTHER THAN ANY OTHER FROG OF MY SIZE


I WAS HATCHED IN THE POND BEYOND THE FARM HOUSE AND ATE MY WAY FROM THE EGG TO THE WATER OUTSIDE LIKE ANY OTHER FROG PERHAPS I OUGHT TO SAY LIKE ANY OTHER TADPOLE FOR OF COURSE I BEGAN LIFE AS A TADPOLE


I PLAYED AND ATE WITH MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND LITTLE DREAMED WHAT TROUBLE WAS IN STORE FOR ME WHEN I GREW UP WE WERE ALL IN A HURRY TO BE FROGS


OH HOW HAPPY WE WERE THEN I REMEMBER THE DAY WHEN MY HIND LEGS BEGAN TO GROW AND HOW THE OTHER TADPOLES CROWDED AROUND ME IN THE WATER AND SWAM CLOSE TO ME TO FEEL THE TWO LITTLE BUNCHES THAT WERE TO BE LEGS


MY FORE LEGS DID NOT GROW UNTIL LATER AND THESE BUNCHES CAME JUST IN FRONT OF MY TAIL YOUR TAIL CRIED A PUZZLED YOUNG CRICKET


I DID HAVE WHEN I WAS A TADPOLE SAID THE TREE FROG I HAD A BEAUTIFUL WIGGLY LITTLE TAIL WITH WHICH TO SWIM THROUGH THE WATERS OF THE POND BUT AS MY LEGS GREW LARGER AND STRONGER MY TAIL GREW LITTLER AND WEAKER UNTIL THERE WASN'T ANY TAIL LEFT


THE KNOBS ON THE ENDS OF MY TOES WERE STICKY SO THAT I COULD CLIMB A TREE AND THEN I WAS READY TO START ON MY TRAVELS SOME OF THE OTHER FROGS STARTED WITH ME BUT THEY STOPPED ALONG THE WAY AND AT LAST I WAS ALONE


I WAS A BOLD YOUNG FELLOW AND WHEN I SAW A GREAT WHITE THING AMONG THE TREES UP YONDER I MADE UP MY MIND TO SEE WHAT IT WAS THERE WAS A GREAT RED THING IN THE YARD BESIDE IT BUT I LIKED THE WHITE ONE BETTER


I HOPPED ALONG AS FAST AS I COULD FOR I DID NOT THEN KNOW ENOUGH TO BE AFRAID I GOT CLOSE UP TO THEM BOTH AND SAW STRANGE BIG CREATURES GOING IN AND OUT OF THE RED THING THE BARN AS I AFTERWARD FOUND IT WAS CALLED


THE LARGEST CREATURES HAD FOUR LEGS AND SOME OF THEM HAD HORNS THE SMALLER CREATURES HAD ONLY TWO LEGS ON WHICH TO WALK AND TWO OTHER LIMBS OF SOME SORT WITH WHICH THEY LIFTED AND CARRIED THINGS


THE QUEEREST THING ABOUT IT WAS THAT THE SMALLER CREATURES SEEMED TO MAKE THE LARGER ONES DO WHATEVER THEY WANTED THEM TO THEY EVEN MADE SOME OF THEM HELP DO THEIR WORK YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE ME BUT WHAT I TELL YOU IS TRUE


AS YOU MAY GUESS I STAYED THERE A LONG TIME WATCHING THESE STRANGE CREATURES WORK


THERE WERE SOME BRIGHT COLORED FLOWERS NEAR THE HOUSE AND I CRAWLED IN AMONG THEM THERE I RESTED UNTIL SUNSET AND THEN BEGAN MY EVENING SONG WHILE I WAS SINGING ONE OF THE PEOPLE FROM THE HOUSE CAME OUT AND FOUND ME


SHE PICKED ME UP AND CARRIED ME INSIDE OH HOW FRIGHTENED I WAS MY HEART THUMPED AS THOUGH IT WOULD BURST AND I TRIED MY BEST TO GET AWAY FROM HER SHE DIDN'T HURT ME AT ALL BUT SHE WOULD NOT LET ME GO


SHE PUT ME IN A VERY QUEER PRISON AT FIRST WHEN SHE PUT ME DOWN ON A STONE IN SOME WATER I DID NOT KNOW THAT I WAS IN PRISON I TRIED TO HOP AWAY AND BUMP WENT MY HEAD AGAINST SOMETHING


WONDERFUL INDEED AND AT THE TOP CONTINUED THE TREE FROG WAS SOMETHING WHITE OVER THE DOORWAY INTO MY PRISON IN THE BOTTOM WERE WATER AND A STONE AND FROM THE BOTTOM TO THE TOP WAS A LADDER


I HAD ENOUGH TO EAT BUT ANYBODY WHO HAS BEEN FREE CANNOT BE HAPPY SHUT IN I WATCHED MY CHANCE AND THREE TIMES I GOT OUT WHEN THE LITTLE DOOR WAS NOT QUITE CLOSED TWICE I WAS CAUGHT AND PUT BACK


IN THE PLEASANT WEATHER OF COURSE I WENT TO THE TOP OF THE LADDER AND WHEN IT WAS GOING TO RAIN I WOULD GO DOWN AGAIN EVERY TIME THAT I WENT UP OR DOWN THOSE DREADFUL CREATURES WOULD PUT THEIR FACES UP CLOSE TO MY PRISON


AND I COULD HEAR A ROARING SOUND WHICH MEANT THEY WERE TALKING AND LAUGHING THE LAST TIME I GOT OUT


AFTER THEY STOPPED HUNTING THE WIND BLEW THE DOOR OPEN AND I HOPPED OUT YOU DON'T SAY EXCLAIMED A GRASSHOPPER


BUT FOR A LONG TIME I COULD NOT SLEEP WITHOUT DREAMING THAT I WAS BACK IN PRISON AND I WOULD CROAK IN MY SLEEP AT THE THOUGHT OF IT I HEARD YOU CRIED THE KATYDID AND I WONDERED WHAT WAS THE MATTER MATTER ENOUGH SAID THE TREE FROG


IT MAKES MY SKIN DRY TO THINK OF IT NOW AND FRIENDS THE BEST WAY I CAN EVER REPAY YOUR KINDNESS TO ME IS TO TELL YOU TO NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER GO NEAR THE FARM HOUSE AND THEY ALL ANSWERED


THE DIGNIFIED WALKING STICKS THREE WALKING STICKS FROM THE FOREST HAD COME TO LIVE IN THE BIG MAPLE TREE NEAR THE MIDDLE OF THE MEADOW NOBODY KNEW EXACTLY WHY THEY HAD LEFT THE FOREST WHERE ALL THEIR SISTERS AND COUSINS AND AUNTS LIVED


PERHAPS THEY WERE NOT HAPPY WITH THEIR RELATIVES BUT THEN IF ONE IS A WALKING STICK YOU KNOW ONE DOES NOT CARE SO VERY MUCH ABOUT ONE'S FAMILY THESE WALKING STICKS HAD GROWN UP THE BEST WAY THEY COULD WITH NO FATHER OR MOTHER TO CARE FOR THEM


THEY HAD NEVER BEEN TAUGHT TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL OR TO THINK MUCH ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE WHEN THEY WERE HUNGRY THEY ATE SOME LEAVES AND NEVER THOUGHT WHAT THEY SHOULD EAT THE NEXT TIME THAT THEY HAPPENED TO BE HUNGRY WHEN THEY WERE TIRED THEY WENT TO SLEEP


AND WHEN THEY HAD SLEPT ENOUGH THEY AWAKENED THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO BUT TO EAT AND SLEEP AND THEY DID NOT OFTEN TAKE THE TROUBLE TO THINK THEY FELT THAT THEY WERE A LITTLE BETTER THAN THOSE MEADOW PEOPLE WHO RUSHED AND SCRAMBLED AND WORKED FROM MORNING UNTIL NIGHT AND THEY SHOWED VERY PLAINLY HOW THEY FELT


THEY SAID IT WAS NOT GENTEEL TO HURRY NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED ONE DAY THE TREE FROG WAS UNDER THE TREE WHEN THE LARGE BROWN WALKING STICK DECIDED TO LAY SOME EGGS HE SAW HER DROPPING THEM CARELESSLY AROUND ON THE GROUND AND ASKED


DO YOU NEVER FIX A PLACE FOR YOUR EGGS A PLACE SAID THE BROWN WALKING STICK WAVING HER LONG AND SLENDER FEELERS TO AND FRO A PLACE OH NO I THINK THEY WILL HATCH WHERE THEY ARE IT IS TOO MUCH TROUBLE TO FIND A PLACE


SOME MOTHERS DO NOT THINK IT TOO MUCH TROUBLE TO BE CAREFUL WHERE THEY LAY EGGS THAT MAY BE SAID THE BROWN WALKING STICK BUT THEY DO NOT BELONG TO OUR FAMILY SHE SPOKE AS IF THOSE WHO DID NOT BELONG TO HER FAMILY MIGHT BE GOOD BUT COULD NEVER BE GENTEEL


SHE HAD ONCE TOLD HER BROTHER THE FIVE LEGGED WALKING STICK THAT SHE WOULD NOT WANT TO LIVE IF SHE COULD NOT BE GENTEEL SHE THOUGHT THE MEADOW PEOPLE VERY COMMON THE FIVE LEGGED WALKING STICK LOOKED MUCH LIKE HIS SISTER HE HAD THE SAME LONG SLENDER BODY


THE SAME LONG FEELERS AND THE SAME SORT OF LONG SLENDER LEGS IF YOU HAD PASSED THEM IN A HAY FIELD YOU WOULD SURELY HAVE THOUGHT EACH A STEM OF HAY UNLESS YOU HAPPENED TO SEE THEM MOVE THE OTHER WALKING STICK THEIR FRIEND WAS YOUNGER AND GREEN


HE KNEW JUST WHAT TO EXPECT SO WHEN THE NUTHATCH SET HIM DOWN ON THE BARK TO LOOK AT HIM HE UNHOOKED HIS FEET FROM THE BARK AND TUMBLED TO THE GROUND THE NUTHATCH TRIED TO CATCH HIM AND BROKE OFF ONE OF HIS LEGS BUT SHE NEVER FOUND HIM AGAIN ALTHOUGH SHE LOOKED AND LOOKED AND LOOKED AND LOOKED


THAT WAS BECAUSE HE CRAWLED INTO A CLUMP OF FERNS AND KEPT VERY STILL HIS SISTER CAME AND LOOKED AT HIM AND SAID NOW IF YOU WERE ONLY A SPIDER IT WOULD NOT BE LONG BEFORE YOU WOULD HAVE SIX LEGS AGAIN


OF COURSE YOU KNOW SPIDERS NEVER DO HAVE A HUNDRED AND A WALKING STICK WOULDN'T BE WALKING WITHOUT ANY BUT THAT WAS JUST HIS WAY OF SPEAKING AND IT SHOWED WHAT KIND OF INSECT HE WAS HIS RELATIVES ALL WAVED THEIR FEELERS ONE AT A TIME AND SAID


AH HE HAS THE TRUE WALKING STICK SPIRIT THEN THEY PAID NO MORE ATTENTION TO HIM AND AFTER A WHILE HE AND HIS SISTER AND THEIR GREEN LITTLE FRIEND LEFT THE FOREST FOR THE MEADOW ON THE DAY WHEN THE GRASS WAS CUT THEY HAD SAT QUIETLY IN THEIR TREES AND LOOKED GENTEEL


THEIR FEELERS WERE HELD QUITE CLOSE TOGETHER AND THEY DID NOT MOVE THEIR FEET AT ALL ONLY SWAYED THEIR BODIES GRACEFULLY FROM SIDE TO SIDE NOW THEY WERE ON THE GROUND HUNTING THROUGH THE FLAT PILES OF CUT GRASS FOR SOME FRESH AND JUICY BITS TO EAT


THE ANTS WERE SCRAMBLING AROUND AS BUSY AS EVER AND LIFE WENT ON QUITE AS THOUGH NEITHER MEN NOR HORSES HAD EVER ENTERED THE MEADOW SEE CRIED A SPIDER WHO WAS BUSILY LOOKING AFTER HER WEB THERE COMES A HORSE DRAWING SOMETHING AND THE FARMER SITTING ON IT AND DRIVING


WHEN THE HORSE WAS WELL INTO THE MEADOW THE FARMER MOVED A BAR AND THE QUEER LOOKING MACHINE BEGAN TO KICK THE GRASS THIS WAY AND THAT WITH ITS MANY STIFF AND SHINING LEGS A FRISKY YOUNG GRASSHOPPER KICKED IN THE SAME WAY AND HAPPENED JUST HAPPENED OF COURSE


THEN THERE WAS A GREAT SCRAMBLING AND THE CRICKETS FROLICKED WITH THEM THE YOUNG WALKING STICK THOUGHT IT LOOKED LIKE GREAT FUN AND ALMOST WISHED HERSELF SOME OTHER KIND OF INSECT SO THAT SHE COULD TUMBLE AROUND IN THE SAME WAY SHE DID NOT QUITE WISH IT YOU UNDERSTAND


AND WOULD NEVER HAVE THOUGHT OF IT IF SHE HAD TURNED BROWN AH SAID THE FIVE LEGGED WALKING STICK WHAT SCRAMBLING HOW VERY COMMON YES INDEED SAID HIS SISTER WHY CAN'T THEY LEARN TO MOVE SLOWLY AND GRACEFULLY


PERHAPS THEY CAN'T HELP BEING FAT BUT THEY MIGHT AT LEAST ACT GENTEEL WHAT IS IT TO BE GENTEEL ASKED A GRASSHOPPER SUDDENLY HE HAD HEARD EVERY WORD THAT THE WALKING STICK SAID WHY SAID THE FIVE LEGGED WALKING STICK


IT IS JUST TO BE GENTEEL TO ACT AS YOU SEE US ACT AND TO JUST HERE THE HAY TEDDER PASSED OVER THEM AND EVERY ONE OF THE WALKING STICKS WAS SENT FLYING THROUGH THE AIR AND LANDED ON HIS BACK


THE WALKING STICKS LOOKED VERY UNCOMFORTABLE AND THE BROTHER AND SISTER COULD NOT THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY IT WAS THE YOUNG GREEN ONE WHO SPOKE AT LAST


THE DANCE OF THE SAND HILL CRANES ONE FINE DAY IN SPRING A GREAT FLOCK OF SAND HILL CRANES CAME FROM THE SOUTH THEY WERE FLYING HIGH AND QUIETLY BECAUSE THE WEATHER WAS BRIGHT IF IT HAD BEEN STORMY


OR IF THEY HAD BEEN FLYING BY NIGHT AS THEY USUALLY DID THEY WOULD HAVE STAYED NEARER THE GROUND AND THEIR LEADER WOULD HAVE TRUMPETED LOUDLY TO LET HIS FOLLOWERS KNOW WHICH WAY HE WAS GOING THEY WOULD ALSO HAVE TRUMPETED BUT MORE SOFTLY TO TELL HIM THAT THEY WERE COMING AFTER


THEY WERE A FINE COMPANY TO LOOK UPON ORDERLY STRONG AND DIGNIFIED THEIR LONG NECKS WERE STRETCHED OUT STRAIGHT AHEAD THEIR LONG LEGS STRAIGHT BEHIND AND THEY BEAT THE AIR WITH SLOW REGULAR STROKES OF THE STRONG WINGS


AS THEY CAME NEAR THE POND THEY FLEW LOWER AND LOWER UNTIL ALL SWEPT DOWN TO THE EARTH AND ALIGHTED TALL AND STATELY BY THE EDGE OF THE WATER THEY HAD EATEN NOTHING FOR SEVERAL DAYS AND WERE SOON HUNTING FOR FOOD SOME ON LAND


AND SOME IN THE WATER FOR THEY HAD STOPPED TO FEED AND REST THOSE WHO HUNTED IN THE WATER DID SO VERY QUIETLY A CRANE WOULD STAND ON ONE LEG WITH HIS HEAD AGAINST HIS BREAST SO QUIETLY THAT ONE MIGHT THINK HIM ASLEEP BUT AS SOON AS ANYTHING EATABLE CAME NEAR


HE WOULD BEND HIS BODY STRETCH OUT HIS NECK OPEN HIS LONG SLENDER BILL AND SWALLOW IT AT ONE GULP THEN HE WOULD SEEM TO FALL ASLEEP AGAIN WHILE MOST OF THE CRANES WERE STILL FEEDING SOME OF THEM WERE STALKING THROUGH THE WOODS AND LOOKING THIS WAY AND THAT


THEY WERE THOSE WHO THOUGHT OF STAYING THERE FOR THE SUMMER WHEN THE FLOCK AROSE TO FLY ON AGAIN EIGHT CRANES STAYED BEHIND THEY WATCHED THEIR FRIENDS FLY AWAY AND STOOD ON THE GROUND WITH THEIR NECKS AND BILLS UPLIFTED AND MOUTHS OPEN


WHILE THEY TRUMPETED OR CALLED OUT GOOD BYE STOP FOR US IN THE FALL THE FLYING CRANES TRUMPETED BACK WE WILL DON'T FORGET US THAT NIGHT THEY SLEPT NEAR TOGETHER AS THEY HAD DONE WHEN WITH THE LARGE FLOCK


AND ONE CRANE KEPT AWAKE TO WATCH FOR DANGER WHILE THE OTHERS TUCKED THEIR HEADS UNDER THEIR WINGS THEY WERE FINE LOOKING EVEN WHEN THEY SLEPT AND SOME PEOPLE NEVER LOOK WELL UNLESS THEY ARE AWAKE THEY WERE BROWNISH GRAY WITH NO BRIGHT MARKINGS AT ALL


AND THEIR LONG LEGS GAVE THEM A VERY GENTEEL LOOK THE TOPS OF THEIR HEADS WERE COVERED WITH WARTY RED SKIN FROM WHICH GREW SHORT BLACK FEATHERS THAT LOOKED MORE LIKE HAIRS ONE MORNING WHEN THE CRANES AWAKENED


A FINE YOUNG FELLOW BEGAN TO STRUT UP AND DOWN BEFORE THE REST BOWING LOW AND LEAPING HIGH INTO THE AIR AND EVERY NOW AND THEN WHOOPING AS LOUDLY AS HE COULD THE GULLS WHO HAD SPENT THE WINTER BY THE POND SCREAMED TO EACH OTHER THE CRANE DANCE HAS BEGUN


EVEN THE FROGS WHO ARE AFRAID OF CRANES CREPT QUIETLY NEAR TO LOOK ON IT WAS NOT LONG BEFORE ANOTHER YOUNG CRANE BEGAN TO SKIP AND HOP AND CIRCLE AROUND DROOPING HIS WINGS AND WHOOPING AS HE WENT


EVERY CRANE DANCED BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND ALL AND AS THEY DID SO THEY LOOKED LOVINGLY AT EACH OTHER AND ADMIRED THE FINE STEPS AND ENJOYED THE WHOOPING THIS WENT ON UNTIL THEY WERE SO TIRED THEY COULD HARDLY STAND AND HAD TO STOP TO EAT AND REST


WHEN THEY WERE EATING THE YOUNG FELLOW WHO HAD BEGUN THE DANCE STALKED UP TO THE SISTER OF ONE OF HIS FRIENDS AS SHE STOOD IN THE EDGE OF THE POND GRACEFULLY BALANCED ON ONE LEG SHE DID NOT TURN HER HEAD TOWARDS HIM ALTHOUGH HAVING SUCH A LONG AND SLENDER NECK


SHE STOOD WITH HER HEAD ON HER BREAST AND LOOKED AT THE WATER AFTER A WHILE HE TRUMPETED SOFTLY AS THOUGH HE WERE JUST TRYING HIS VOICE THEN SHE GAVE A PRETTY LITTLE START AND SAID OH ARE YOU HERE HOW YOU DID FRIGHTEN ME


I AM SORRY HE SAID I DID NOT WANT TO FRIGHTEN YOU AND HE LOOKED AT HER ADMIRINGLY IT WAS JUST FOR A MINUTE SHE ANSWERED


THEN THEY STOOD AND FISHED FOR A LONG TIME WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING WHEN SHE FLEW AWAY SHE SAID THAT IS A VERY PLEASANT FISHING PLACE HE STOOD ON THE OTHER LEG FOR A WHILE AND THOUGHT HOW SWEET HER VOICE SOUNDED AS SHE SAID IT


THEN HE THOUGHT THAT IF SHE LIKED THE PLACE SO WELL SHE MIGHT COME THERE AGAIN THE NEXT DAY HE WONDERED WHY HE COULD NOT COME TOO ALTHOUGH EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT A CRANE CATCHES MORE IF HE FISHES ALONE THE NEXT MORNING WHEN THE CRANES DANCED


HE BOWED TO HER OFTENER THAN TO ANY OF THE REST AND HE THOUGHT SHE NOTICED IT THEY DANCED UNTIL THEY WERE ALMOST TOO TIRED TO MOVE


AS SHE STALKED OFF TOWARD THE POND SHE PASSED HIM AND SHE SAID OVER HER SHOULDER I SHOULD THINK YOU WOULD BE HUNGRY I AM ALMOST STARVED AFTER SHE HAD GONE HE WONDERED WHY SHE HAD SAID THAT


IF HE HAD BEEN AN OLDER CRANE AND UNDERSTOOD THE WAYS OF THE WORLD A LITTLE BETTER HE WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT SHE MEANT AREN'T YOU COMING TO THAT FISHING PLACE I AM GOING NOW


STILL ALTHOUGH HE WAS SUCH A YOUNG CRANE AND HAD NEVER DANCED UNTIL THIS YEAR HE BEGAN TO THINK THAT SHE LIKED HIM AND ENJOYED HAVING HIM NEAR SO HE FLEW OFF TO THE FISHING PLACE WHERE HE HAD SEEN HER THE DAY BEFORE AND HE STALKED ALONG TO WHERE SHE WAS


HE PITIED SHORT NECKED PEOPLE THEN HE SAID POOH I CAN TAKE BIGGER MOUTHFULS THAN THAT YOU OUGHT TO SEE WHAT BIG MOUTHFULS I CAN TAKE SHE CHANGED AND STOOD ON HER OTHER LEG I SAW YOU DANCING THIS MORNING SHE SAID


FOR ALL THE EIGHT CRANES HAD DANCED TOGETHER BUT HE THOUGHT IT VERY WONDERFUL DID YOU NOTICE TO WHOM I BOWED HE ASKED HE WAS SO EXCITED THAT HIS KNEES SHOOK AND HE HAD TO STAND ON BOTH LEGS AT ONCE TO KEEP FROM FALLING


WHEN A CRANE IS AS MUCH EXCITED AS THAT IT IS PRETTY SERIOUS TO MY SISTER SHE ASKED CARELESSLY AS SHE DREW ONE OF HER LONG TAIL FEATHERS THROUGH HER BEAK NO SAID HE I BOWED TO HER SISTER


AND SHE SAID SHE COULDN'T REMEMBER THAT SHE NEVER COULD REMEMBER WHAT SHE HAD FORGOTTEN IT MADE HIM FEEL VERY BADLY TO HAVE HER LEAVE HIM SO HE WANTED A CHANCE TO TELL HER SOMETHING YET WHENEVER HE TRIED TO IT SEEMED TO STICK IN HIS BILL HE BEGAN TO FEAR THAT SHE DIDN'T LIKE HIM


AND THE NEXT TIME THE CRANES DANCED HE DIDN'T BOW TO HER SO MUCH BUT HE STRUTTED AND LEAPED AND WHOOPED EVEN MORE AND SHE STRUTTED AND LEAPED AND WHOOPED ALMOST AS LOUDLY AS HE WHEN THEY WERE ALL TIRED OUT AND HAD STOPPED DANCING SHE SAID TO HIM I AM SO TIRED


LET US GO OFF INTO THE WOODS AND REST YOU MAY BE VERY SURE HE WAS GLAD TO GO AND AS HE STALKED OFF WITH HER HE LED THE WAY TO A CHARMING NESTING PLACE HE DIDN'T KNOW JUST HOW TO TELL WHAT HE WANTED TO BUT HE HAD SEEN ANOTHER CRANE BOWING TO HER


AND WAS AFRAID SHE MIGHT MARRY HIM IF HE WAS NOT QUICK NOW HE POINTED WITH ONE WING TO THIS NESTING PLACE AND SAID HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUILD A NEST THERE SHE LOOKED WHERE HE HAD POINTED I SHE SAID WHY


IT IS A LOVELY PLACE BUT I COULD NEVER HAVE A NEST ALONE LET ME HELP YOU HE SAID I WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE A HOME WHY SAID SHE AS SHE PREENED HER FEATHERS THAT IS A VERY GOOD PLAN


WHEN DID YOU THINK OF IT SO THEY WERE MARRIED AND MISSUS SAND HILL CRANE OFTEN TOLD HER FRIENDS AFTERWARD THAT MISTER CRANE WAS SO MUCH IN LOVE WITH HER THAT SHE JUST HAD TO MARRY HIM THEY WERE VERY VERY HAPPY AND AFTER A WHILE


THE CLEVER WATER ADDER NONE OF THE POND PEOPLE WERE ALONE MORE THAN THE WATER ADDERS THE SNAPPING TURTLE WAS LEFT TO HIMSELF A GREAT DEAL UNTIL THE DAY WHEN HE AND BELOSTOMA DROVE AWAY THE BOYS AFTER THAT


HIS NEIGHBORS BEGAN TO UNDERSTAND HIM BETTER AND HE WAS LESS GRUMPY SO THAT THOSE WHO WORE SHELLS WERE SOON QUITE FOND OF HIM BELOSTOMA DID NOT HAVE MANY FRIENDS AMONG THE SMALLER PEOPLE AND ONLY A FEW AMONG THE LARGER ONES THEY SAID THAT HE WAS CRUEL